Note : This post has no relation to the movie by Rajkumar Hirani

Additional Note : All characters (alphabets, decimals,integers,alpha-numerals) appearing in this post are real.
Substractional Note : Chronicwriter (The author of this blog) was not intoxicated while typing this post
Multiplicational Note : Practise Safe Sex to avoid Veterinary Diseases
Divisional Note : I am not ShahRukh Khan and neither am I Bal Thackarey; and hence this post is not responsible for the stained relationships between India and Pakistan


Without any more ado, let me get to the point. Chronicwriter has finally decided to dive into the film world. The moment I made this decision, Hollywood, Bollywood and Kollywood tried to woo me into their territory. Any Tom, Shane or Harry would have fallen into the trap laid by the HBKs. But Chronicwriter decided to start his own group called the Chronicwood. Chronicwood is made from the finest plywoods of the world.


Chronicwood Movies in association with 20th century Dog presents

" The 3 IdIotS".

Cast: (Not to be confused with Caste)

Osama Ben Lord as The Pak- Santa
Raj Doctorate as God Father (Uncle-ji)
Balls Doctorate as God Son (Son-ji)

Music :

BeeR RugMan

The story:

Osama Ben Lord is a Owner of a Gift Shop. His employees go to different parts of the world to share gifts. Few of them once fly to United States of America to share gifts, but unfortunately, the twin towers stand in their way.
Later Osama Ben Lord decides to send some santaclauses to India and hence the santaclauses come to India to deliver gifts to people of all ages in Mumbai. They Enter Hotel Taj and deliver gifts to random people inside the Taj.

Raj Doctorate and Balls Doctorate are two Local Baddies (Dogs chasing car types) who strive very hard for the upliftment of people in Mumbai. When they discover that Osama's friends have entered Mumbai, they get shivers down their spines which officially end up as a fart through their respective rear drainages. What happens after that forms the plot of the movie.

Some conversations from the movie.

"Uncle-ji, i have an itching sensation there? "
" Change your underwear once a week at least"

"Uncle-ji, I am in love"
"Is she a homely girl"
"It is not a She. It is a He"
"Oh shucks! That means I am not gonna bite the cake"

" Should we call Kiran Bedi to Investigate on this case?"
" I would prefer Pooja Bedi or Mandira Bedi solve this case"
" Wow! What an Idea Son-ji"

"Is Chronicwriter making a fool of us by casting us in the lead roles?"
"It doesn't matter. Everyone knows that he is a fool like us too."


"Son-ji,What is this facebook, twitter?"
"I don't know uncle-ji"
"Then we should eradicate it from our homeland"
"Bharat Maatha Ki Jai"

" Sachin Tendulkar is more popular than us in Mumbai"
" How can that be? Suggest something that would bring his popularity down"
(Immediately Raj and Balls watch some of Tendulkar's brilliant shots on TV)
"Uncle-ji! See that guy is always touching and adjusting his private part before facing every ball" "That is obscenity. How can the ladies watch such vulgarity on TV?"
"Yes, We should ban him from batting"

A conversation over the phone
Osama : I have an offer you can't resist
Balls Doctorate: Sakhi Rawant?
Osama : Now! That's a turn off. Put the phone down and go to hell

" Our country has very few tigers left. Should we join the 'Save the Tiger' Project"
" But people are calling Saurav Ganguly as the Bengal Tiger. If they call him Maharashtra Tiger, we can do something about it"
" Then should we support the Tiger which is hiding in the woods?"
" Yes we should. If not us, who will?"

Osama starts attending Night classes and he finds out that Raj (Uncle-ji) is uneducated and hence decides to snub Raj with his knowledge
Osama: Do you know Larry Page and Sergei Brin?
Raj : I dont know
Osama : They are the founders of Google. You would have known this if you attend night classes
The next day, Osama again starts a conversation with Raj
Osama: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Raj: No
Osama: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Raj gets furious and throws back a question at Osama
Raj : Do you know who Show Ruk Kaun is ?
Osama : No
Raj : He is the guy who has a sexy time with your wife. If you stop night classes you would know.
-Chronicwriter
PS: If you find this post to be offensive, just remember that it is time to give your dog a bath.