Feb 3, 2010

387. The Three IDIOTS

Note : This post has no relation to the movie by Rajkumar Hirani

Additional Note : All characters (alphabets, decimals,integers,alpha-numerals) appearing in this post are real.
Substractional Note : Chronicwriter (The author of this blog) was not intoxicated while typing this post
Multiplicational Note : Practise Safe Sex to avoid Veterinary Diseases
Divisional Note : I am not ShahRukh Khan and neither am I Bal Thackarey; and hence this post is not responsible for the stained relationships between India and Pakistan


Without any more ado, let me get to the point. Chronicwriter has finally decided to dive into the film world. The moment I made this decision, Hollywood, Bollywood and Kollywood tried to woo me into their territory. Any Tom, Shane or Harry would have fallen into the trap laid by the HBKs. But Chronicwriter decided to start his own group called the Chronicwood. Chronicwood is made from the finest plywoods of the world.


Chronicwood Movies in association with 20th century Dog presents

" The 3 IdIotS".

Cast: (Not to be confused with Caste)

Osama Ben Lord as The Pak- Santa
Raj Doctorate as God Father (Uncle-ji)
Balls Doctorate as God Son (Son-ji)

Music :

BeeR RugMan

The story:

Osama Ben Lord is a Owner of a Gift Shop. His employees go to different parts of the world to share gifts. Few of them once fly to United States of America to share gifts, but unfortunately, the twin towers stand in their way.
Later Osama Ben Lord decides to send some santaclauses to India and hence the santaclauses come to India to deliver gifts to people of all ages in Mumbai. They Enter Hotel Taj and deliver gifts to random people inside the Taj.

Raj Doctorate and Balls Doctorate are two Local Baddies (Dogs chasing car types) who strive very hard for the upliftment of people in Mumbai. When they discover that Osama's friends have entered Mumbai, they get shivers down their spines which officially end up as a fart through their respective rear drainages. What happens after that forms the plot of the movie.

Some conversations from the movie.

"Uncle-ji, i have an itching sensation there? "
" Change your underwear once a week at least"

"Uncle-ji, I am in love"
"Is she a homely girl"
"It is not a She. It is a He"
"Oh shucks! That means I am not gonna bite the cake"

" Should we call Kiran Bedi to Investigate on this case?"
" I would prefer Pooja Bedi or Mandira Bedi solve this case"
" Wow! What an Idea Son-ji"

"Is Chronicwriter making a fool of us by casting us in the lead roles?"
"It doesn't matter. Everyone knows that he is a fool like us too."


"Son-ji,What is this facebook, twitter?"
"I don't know uncle-ji"
"Then we should eradicate it from our homeland"
"Bharat Maatha Ki Jai"

" Sachin Tendulkar is more popular than us in Mumbai"
" How can that be? Suggest something that would bring his popularity down"
(Immediately Raj and Balls watch some of Tendulkar's brilliant shots on TV)
"Uncle-ji! See that guy is always touching and adjusting his private part before facing every ball" "That is obscenity. How can the ladies watch such vulgarity on TV?"
"Yes, We should ban him from batting"

A conversation over the phone
Osama : I have an offer you can't resist
Balls Doctorate: Sakhi Rawant?
Osama : Now! That's a turn off. Put the phone down and go to hell

" Our country has very few tigers left. Should we join the 'Save the Tiger' Project"
" But people are calling Saurav Ganguly as the Bengal Tiger. If they call him Maharashtra Tiger, we can do something about it"
" Then should we support the Tiger which is hiding in the woods?"
" Yes we should. If not us, who will?"

Osama starts attending Night classes and he finds out that Raj (Uncle-ji) is uneducated and hence decides to snub Raj with his knowledge
Osama: Do you know Larry Page and Sergei Brin?
Raj : I dont know
Osama : They are the founders of Google. You would have known this if you attend night classes
The next day, Osama again starts a conversation with Raj
Osama: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Raj: No
Osama: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
Raj gets furious and throws back a question at Osama
Raj : Do you know who Show Ruk Kaun is ?
Osama : No
Raj : He is the guy who has a sexy time with your wife. If you stop night classes you would know.
-Chronicwriter
PS: If you find this post to be offensive, just remember that it is time to give your dog a bath.

24 comments:

  1. lolz... i have to admit that was a real fun read...

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  2. The best part of the post was the initial one - till the twentieth century dog stuff. I like the way you have spelt BeeR. Rahman and of course the additional, multiplicational etc notes were other-wordly. :D. Keep going Chriz. I am amazed at how you are able to give us more and more new rib-ticklers every day! :P

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  3. this was hilarious... Loved it...


    better stop attending night classes.. :)

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  4. very poor post by your standards

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  5. omgggg!!! I soo want to be the cinematographer to be seeing raj and balls etc.. :P

    Btw,yenga posttu engga saaru?? :O

    Love,
    Nikhil

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  6. lol.. this is so so funny... your imagination know no bounds.. epdi dhan ipidla yosikaringalo pa...

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  7. If I would be exempted by law from just one murder..i would surely kill Raj and Bal Thcakery from a single bullet in Rajnikant style....

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  8. Osama's friends have entered Mumbai, they get shivers down their spines which officially end up as a fart through their respective rear drainages.

    You deserve a ""No-Pal"( ama Tamil palley thaan) Prize for this invention

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  9. well good one, but last joke is a kind of repeat, not your style dude.

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  10. a lil bit less lacking in quality as per this blog s previous posts. jokes are a bit repititive..... runnin out of ideas chris ??

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  11. Raj Doctrate and balls doctrate....lol

    Was a fun read... :) though gotta agree as a film or a movie..the script lacks clarity :P...Bu best dialogues Award wd surely go to u...

    Read :->"Osama's friends have entered Mumbai, they get shivers down their spines which officially end up as a fart through their respective rear drainages."

    Pure Awesomeness :D

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  12. @abhijeet

    standards? thats the buggest humor in this post bro.. me dun have any standard at all

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  13. @tequila
    yus bro, the last one was a sardar joke :) have to steam up bro

    @prashanth
    lack of ideas is not the word bro.. laziness is the word..

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  14. enjoyed reading every bit of it.... it definitely put a smile on my face... loved the 'notes'

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  15. Must admit that this post was undercooked.

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  16. This was good , but not upto the chronicwriter's standards !

    Cmon Chris , dont be lazy . Im the most concerned person , you know why :P

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  17. Also , why are you not thinking on the lines of writing a book ?

    If an 'eM' can write one ,you definitely can . And please do name it as the 'red underwear'

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  18. it was fun to read.. but I would have loved it more if u had touched the real side of calling them idiots.. People need to know what's wrong in them and humor is the best way to feed them the reality...

    and I am going to give my dog a bath..because the last comment about Shahrukh going to pakistan to fcuk around..I disagree ..wateva be his religion ..I am proud that he is my brother of same nation...

    I hope this was a trailor and you will come with the big film on Chronicwood soon..

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  19. Yo Chriz! How on earth dya come up with stuff life Sakhi Rawant, 20th Century Dog n all??

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  20. three idiots... unga mokai yosanai engalai kan kalangu vaikithu aiya!

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  21. Hahahahaha nice one!!!
    I always read your blog.
    There are many websites who famous for funny articles. Thanks for sharing such a nice post.

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  22. This post is worthy of appreciation, looking forward to more exciting! Copy Patek Philippe

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