Aug 28, 2009

356 .Ten Thousand

Birthdays are special for everyone. Wedding days are special for many. Lot of us have at least one special day in our life that make us happy. Today is one such special day for Chronicwriter. In fact today is the most specialestest day in Chronicwriter's life (so far). Yes! Today is Chronicwriter's 10000th day of his life on this earth. Chronicwriter was born on 13th April 1982 and hence 28th August 2009 happens to be his 10000th day on earth. Have you calculated the number of days you have lived in this world?

On this special day, Chronicwriter has decided to write about an incident that happened in his college life. This is one incident that Chronicwriter would never forget. Chronicwriter types the truth, only when he writes about his folks. Readers of this page would also be knowing that everything else on this page is a figment of the author's imagination. But on his 10000th day he has decided to write about that true incident that happened in his college life. This is an incident that reveals the very bad nature of the author. So please do not treat it as a moral example in life. Now I hand it over to Chronicwriter. He will narrate the story.

-Mr.X (Alter-Ego of Chronicwriter)

Those five months

Hello everyone,
It is me!!! Chriz, The author of the page. On this special day, i am gonna talk about one incident that happened in my college life. This story is about my friend Robert. I had already written about a real incident that happened in my college life that spoilt my relationship with him. I would suggest the reader to read that story [link] to have an idea about Robert's character.
I did my Bachelors degree in engineering in a place called Pondicherry. It was a four year course (8 semesters). The first three semesters were spent in college hostel. Yours truly was kicked out of hostel after three semesters in college ( The kicking out incident calls for another blog post. I would write about it some other day). The incident that was mentioned in the above link happened in the third semester in college. So due to that incident, Robert stopped talking with me. [ If you still haven't read that link, I would strongly suggest you to read it, so that you would have a better grip of this stroy]

As I already mentioned, the college management asked me and 6 of my friends to vacate the college hostel. I guess that the college managemet would have thought that innocent students like me would be spoilt by the bad guys in college[:p] . So me and 6 of my friends rented a three bedroom house in pondicherry and moved in. So the seven of us stayed together for the remaining 5 semesters (2.5 years) in that house. Robert was one among the seven. This story i am narrating now is an incident that happened during our stay in that house.
After moving into that house, we 7 guys shared money and bought an old 5th hand Premier Padmini car [link] For those who saw this link and still have no idea about Premier Padmini, let me explain:-The girl in the red saree is not Premier Padmini. The blue colour car standing next to her is Premier Padmini. We bought that car for Rs.17,000/- .Now you would have got an idea about the condition of the car from the money that we paid for buying it. Yes! we all poured in Rs.2500/- each to buy that car. Yes! We cheated our parents in getting that money (we told them that we had to pay project fee). I know it was wrong. So youngsters who read this post!," Please do not use this as an example. I am a very bad example". Let me get back to the story.

We six guys used to go to college in that car. The car was very famous in the whole of Pondicherry (between 2001 and 2003) because of its uniqueness. We painted the car in different colours. The car was full of funny stickers. It would make anyone turn and look at the car. Robert never traveled with us in that car. He preferred taking the bus to college. The year 2001 was very famous in the IT world too. The y2k threat had just got over, I love you virus, Yahoo messenger, e-mails got famous during that year.

We six guys were busy in painting the streets of Pondicherry in different colors. Our concept of having fun was " Taking a long drive and getting drunk". Robert never joined with us for our long drives. Occasionally, he would join us for the drinking parties. Soon we found the reason behind Robert's non-mingling aloof nature. He was addicted to cyber-chatting. He longed to have a girlfriend and he wanted to find one through internet chat. He never told us about it. But we soon figured it out. We also found that he was frequently visiting an internet cafe.None of us were net savvy. Among the six of us, the only person who knew how to use a computer was me. My experience with computers was in playing DOS games. But just to play a prank on Robert, i soon learnt the nuances of internet chatting. I even created a yahoo messenger chat name for myself Iamtheguyurdadwarneduabout@yahoo.com.

Our house was in the second floor of the flat. The owner of the house lived in the ground floor. We six guys were very close with the owner's daughter. We called her "shanti akka". (Akka is tamil for Sister).She had a lovely two year old baby. She knew that the six of us hated Robert because of his indifferent character. She also knew that he was desperate to find a girl for himself. I informed her that I was hatching a plan to fool Robert. She loved all our pranky ideas. But she used to advise us to stop drinking. Mobile phones had not become famous yet. Only 1 in 1000 people above the poverty line had a mobile phone. In our college, I was the only guy to have a mobile phone. My first mobile phone looked like this [link]. Robert wanted to have a mobile phone too. So he soon bought one too.

When I realised that Robert was trying hard to impress a girl through internet chat, I decided to play a prank on him. I created a duplicate id -"meera629001" (If you have had a chat with this id in the past and if you had been a victim, please forgive me). Robert had the habit of visiting chat rooms and trying his luck with random ids. He was a regular in the Chennai online/ Tamilnadu chat rooms of yahoo messenger. That was the only good social networking site then. (We did not have orkut/FB during those days). On one occasion,I started chatting with Robert. He did not know that it was me.
meera629001: Hi
sayhi2robert_d: Hi asl
meera629001: 17/f/Pondicherry. Yours?
sayhi2robert1_d:20/m/Pondicherry. What are you doing in Pondicherry?
meera629001: I am in class 12 in cluny school. Ok i have to go. Mummy calling me for dinner.
I logged off and me and my 5 friends went out for our long drive. Robert was in his dream world because i added a cute girl's picture in meera's profile (with her permission ofcourse). Robert spent the next one week loitering around cluny girl's school. After one week, when i opened meera629001 inbox, there were 13 emails from Robert. He had sent lot of his photos taken in different poses. 7 of those mails were e-greeting cards and there was one "I miss you" greeting card too. Immediately i sent a mail to him
Dear Robi,
I am so happy to see all the lovely greeting cards from you. No one has ever treated me as sweet as you. I am glad to have a friend like you. I can't chat with you frequently. But I will be online, this friday between 2 p.m and 4 p.m. I want to talk to you. Take care.
Love, Meera
(ps) can i call you Robi?
That evening, Robert was smiling more than usual. We guys asked him what the matter was? He did not tell us. So we thought of taking this game to new heights. We had college on friday. But Robert bunked college that day. He was waiting to have a romantic chat with Meera. But I was in college that day and I was giving a tough time to the professor as usual. Poor Robert!!! I checked meera's inbox on saturday and I saw 6 mails from Robert. He was very sad. He even sent his mobile number in one of his mails and asked her to call him. So meera again sent a mail.
Dear Robi,
Sorry. I could not come online on friday. Thanks for the phone number. I would call you from a phonebooth on wednesday. I can't make a call from my landline because my dad is very strict
Lots of Love
Meera
That evening,Robert was again a happy man. But we did not care. We went for our long drive. The next week, he spent his evenings outside cluny school. Mean while we told Shanti akka about our prank and asked her to help us. She agreed to give a call to Robert from a telephone booth. So on wednesday evening, i accompanied Shanti akka to a telephone booth. We gave him a ring.
Robert: Hello
Shanti akka: Hello
Robert was happy because it was a girl's voice and he was waiting for this call. So he immediately tried to talk in a romantic tone.
Robert: Cayn I Knoww, whu thiz iz?
Shanti akka: Hi Robi! can you guess?
Robert: Hi Meera...
The conversation lasted for five minutes and after that
Robert: You have a nice voice
Shanti akka: You have a wonderful voice too. I love the way you speak. Nice talking to you. I'll call you some other time.
After that, Shanti akka called Robert once a week and talked for at least five minutes. This went on for three months; Robert could not wait any longer. He wanted to meet meera. We never thought about what to do when things go this far. So we guys decided to play a little longer. Meera would write mails to Robert telling that her parents were very strict and that she hated being at home and she wanted to talk to someone. She even gave him hints that she might be falling in love with him. We played this game for another two months and soon Robert started to get irritated because he had not met meera yet. He even found the telephone booth from where meera (shanti akka) made the phone calls. So Shanti akka started to call him from different telephone booths. Finally one day Robert proposed meera during one of the phone conversations. Meera did not accept the proposal immediately. She asked for one week time to decide. Robert was tensed during that week. Finally the next tuesday,Meera accepted his proposal. Immediately Robert asked her out for a movie
Shanti akka: I want to come to a movie with you. But my parents are very strict.
Robert: Tell your parents that you are gonna do combined study with your friends
Shanti akka: That is a good idea. But what if my dad finds the truth? He will kill me
Robert: Don't worry. He wont find you. I am there for you
Shanti akka: Do you really love me? or are you like the other guys who will just use a girl and throw her away?
Robert: Don't compare me with other guys.Do you doubt me? I cant live without you.
Shanti akka: Sorry Robi... I will come with you to the movie
Robert: Ok! Can we go for the Tamil movie "dumdumdum"?
Shanti akka: Ok. But what if someone catches us in the movie hall?
Robert: Don't worry. I will book a ticket for us in the Box seats. No one will know.
Shanti akka: But are you sure that no one will catch us?
Robert: Yes. The movie timing is from 6 pm to 9 pm. This Thursday.So you can reach home by 9.30 pm
Shanti akka: But what if some one catches me outside the theater?
Robert: No one will.
Shanti akka: I am not sure. I will do one thing. You go inside and wait for me in the box. After the show starts, I will come in fifteen minutes late. Please inform the ticket-checker that your friend would come in fifteen minutes late
Robert: You are brainy. I will drop you back in my car.
Shanti akka : Ok I gotta go now
Robert: Give me a kiss
Shanti akka: Not now. Only when I meet you. Ok I gotta go now
Robert: Ok. See you baby
Robert was smiling during dinner time. He was smiling even in his sleep. He was the happiest person on earth.He came to us and asked us " Hey Guys! I need to go to meet my uncle. Can I take the car?". We agreed to his request but we thought unanimously," Liar!". He could not tell us even now. So we thought of ending it all in the movie hall. We six of us decided to go to the same movie. Robert went to the movie hall and took his place in the box chamber.
The six of us entered the movie hall, a little late and we got the balcony tickets.We waited for half an hour. We knew Robert would have lost his patience by now. So one of my friend Edwin suddenly shouted out loud " HEY GUYS IS MEERA COMING TO THE MOVIE TODAY?". Everyone in the movie hall heard it including Robert. Immediately we all replied " NO SHE WON'T COME". Another friend Karthik replied in a loud voice "SO WHAT IS ROBERT DOING IN THE BOX?" to which we all replied in a chorus voice "WAITING FOR THE FIRST UMMAAA (kiss)". Robert left our house the very next day. He got married last year and none of us were invited for the wedding.
Note: Robert! If you are reading this, please e-mail me. I know you would be waiting to murder me.I would just like to ask one last question," Are you going to name your daughter, Meera?"
-Chronicwriter

Aug 19, 2009

355. Renu {My cutie-pie}

Pre-note: My first love Renu is still in my heart. This post has the details of how my first love bloomed. I thank my first cousin "Cherubina" for taking pains in giving cartoon shape to the characters involved in this True story. Also this is the first time, I have written a song that talks about my love life. I have composed a simple tune [G-C-D progression] for the song. I have added the song video at the end of this post. This is also the first time in my life, I am attempting to play the harmonica and guitar simultaneously. Read the story before viewing the video, so that you will understand the song better. The story is about three people; Shabir, Renu and Chriz.

My First day in School

It was a raining that morning. Summer was just over and the rains had just invaded South India. My mom said, it was June 3rd 1985. I don't know whether that was the exact date, but i remember the incidents that happened on that day. I was a young kid then. I was just three years old. My dad told me that I would be joining school that day. I never had a single clue what a school would look like. But finally when my parents took me to school, i got my first visual taste of school.

[Click the picture to see an enlarged view of the same]

There were lot of parents who had brought their children to school. All the kids looked around with confusion circling their small brains. Soon they took me inside a room. I saw many kids inside the room. All were crying and throwing a fit. Suddenly my parents left the scene too. Tears started welling my eye-lids and just when I was about to cry, I saw her...

She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life so far (as on 1985). She wore a pink frock. She had the most beautiful lips. She smiled at me and that was the mistake she committed. That single smile is making me type this post today. She is Renu. She is the Heroine of this post. I stopped crying (Gentlemen are not supposed to cry in front of a lady). I looked around and saw all the other kids crying out loud. But there was one guy who was standing on top of the bench. He was not crying, he was kicking the other kids. He is Shabir and he is the Villain of this post. Suddenly he stopped kicking the other kids and his focus shifted to Renu. I realised that he had fallen in love with her too. I knew that I would have competition through out my school life. If Renu was the Heroine and if Shabir was the Villain, Am I the Hero? The answer is No. This is the twist in the script. I am the Anti-comedian of this story. I am presenting to all my readers, the bio-data of Shabir, Renu and Me (as on 1985)

Shabir

Name : Shabir Iqbal Ahmed
Sex : Male
Date of Birth : December 21 1981
Hobbies : Kicking grandpa, Biting my sister
Achievements : I can spell A N T A R T I C A
Strengths : I can go to the toilet alone at night time. I do not fear darkness
Favorite SuperHero : He-man. I am the master of the universe

Renu

Name : Renu
Sex : Girl
Date of Birth : April 13 1982
Hobbies : Applying my mommy's lipstick on my lips, Wearing fashionable frocks
Achievements : I know three rhymes
Strengths : My smile
Favorite SuperHero : Barbie Doll.

Chriz

Name : Prason Christopher Robin
Sex : It is a bad word
Date of Birth : Same as Renu's birthday
Hobbies : Eating candle sticks, running around the house naked
Achievements : Wetting my bed every night
Strengths : I can climb the big window in my bedroom
Favorite SuperHero : Super-man. I love his red underwear.

Back to the story

Soon a lady entered the class room and said, "Good Morning Children". She then made us to say "Good morning Ma'm". In the coming days, she taught us many rhymes. I liked her. Her name is Saro. She was a lovely lady. She took wonderful care of me. I wanted to tell her that I was in love with Renu. But I was a gentleman even at such an young age and I knew how to keep a secret.

In the coming days, i did everything to win Renu's heart. I even tried committing suicide once by doing this [link]. The knife broke into pieces.But still I could not win her heart. Once I even saved her from a big fire accident.

Saving Renu from a fire accident

One day I was sitting next to Renu.Her lips were like those sugar coated strawberries( Now! Don't u go into a dreamworld! she is mine!!ok ok.. she WAS mine.. at least in my dreams).She was taller than me though. But does size matter? Her hair was as soft like the brush we used to clean our toilet. ( Am i describing her in a obscene manner? Glad that we did not have any sexual harassment policies in kindergarden)

Shabir was the hero of the class because he was the only one who can chew a chewing gum without swallowing it. The girls were amazed at his wonderful chewing gum-chewing abilities. He used to defeat me round and square in academics also. My vocabulary was so limited then. According to me "A was for Apple". But Shabir used to confuse everyone saying that A was for air-plane,Anaconda,Acracadabra and so on.

When we were using chalk pieces and black slate boards for writing , he was the first one to use a note book and a pencil. To cope up with the ever increasing competition, i brought my first note book and pencil to school. I never knew how to hold a pencil. But who cares , cos now i had half the class's attention. Shabir could not take it any longer. He grabbed my pencil and broke it into two pieces. Such actions were considered to be an act of bravery. Renu fell in instant love with him. Now i wanted to show that i was one step ahead of him in the race. I started screaming at the top of my voice. My class teacher ( on whom i developed an affection at a later point of time) rushed to the scene and instead of punishing him , started thrashing my bum ( cos possession of pencil in kindergarden was treated as a crime under the POTA kindergarden Act).

Renu started avoiding me.That night i had a dream. The whole school caught fire because of a cosmic explosion planned by Iraq and Iran. I started weeping cos i saw Renu caught between the flames. I ran as fast as my little feet could carry me and before long i was standing in front of the class. I opened the door with one powerful kick and searched for a fire extinguisher.

But i could not find one in the near by surroundings. That night before hitting bed i drank lots of water and as the water tank was full, i decided to save my Renu by extinguishing the fire using the only resource available at that time. I did not give a second thought and with in seconds, I was performing the extinguishing act. Suddenly some one hit me hard on my back and i woke up to see my angry dad, closing the refrigerator with parting words “ stop peeing in the refrigerator”

-Chronicwriter

This is the song that I wrote for Renu

video

It was the year 1985, I was 3 years old. My parents took me to a new place;My first day in school. I went inside, there were kids around. They were crying out loud.But there was a guy who was not crying. His name was Shabir. I looked to my right and saw a boy,he was crying bitterly. I looked at the door ,my parents were gone;I started to cry. {whistling} I looked to my left and there she sat;The most beautiful girl. Her eyes were like blueberry,lips were like strawberry.Yes! It was love at first sight.

Renu! Oh Renu.. You are my cutie pie.

You are my honey,chocolate,rasagulla,sonpapdi

You are my lady love {harmonica &guitar}

Shabir, Renu and I were classmates in school. I loved Renu and so did Shabir, the competition intensified.I did everything to win her heart,I always dreamt of her. Sometimes she smiled at me; sometimes she smiled at Shabir. Can someone tell me,what a girl wants! Renu! Oh Renu

We grew up together and we left the school, we finished college too. Renu is now the mother of two. Hahaha-I am laughing cos her husband's name is not Shabir. Renu! Oh Renu

- Chroniclover

Aug 11, 2009

354. Meena Annie Mathew

Chronicwriter's head is a circus that operate 24/7. His brain is full of unanswered questions. Little kids have lot of questions too. When their questions are not answered properly they become mentally unstable. The unstable nature of Chronicwriter is explained in this post. Most of the time, he does unimaginable, immature things that would make anyone hate him. But many such immature acts of Chronicwriter has indeed saved the honour and pride of his friend Meena.
Many girls have walked in Chronicwriter's life. But his first love,"Renu" is still his evergreen love. However the girl,"Meena" occupied Chronicwriter's heart for two years. Meena was Chronicwriter's MBA batch mate. She was/is a beautiful babe indeed. Let us hear the story from his mouth.
Chriz narrates
When I first saw her, I could hear Latin music in my ears. The first day in college, I realised that 32 out of the total 73 guys in college had fallen in love with her. I was one among them. This is when I decided to be a cut above the rest.That same evening,I destroyed the hope of 30 of the 32 guys by saying," Hey guys! I am going out with Meena". They had to believe me because I spoke in an authoritative tone. Only two guys did not buy my statement. One was me and the other guy was a brainy guy. His name was Jomal Koshy.

The very next day, Jomal tried to hit on Meena. Before I could ask her to have lunch with me, Jomal jumped and asked her to have lunch with him. She readily accepted. I followed them to the canteen and sat in the adjacent table. Jomal realised that Me, being there would be a great hindrance for him and hence he tried to talk in a low, calm voice. After sometime I could see that Meena was getting irritated. She suddenly got up from the seat and rushed out of the canteen. I could hear her mumbling " Why do people with bad breath always want to tell you secrets?" as she made her way out of the canteen. I was happy now. My only competitor was now out of contention.
The first week in college was over and by now the ice was broken. We started forming our own gang of friends. Meena and I were in the same group. We used to hang out together as a group. We started having food in the canteen. This picture was taken when we had food in the canteen. I am the one in the white Kurta. You can see me holding a plate full of Indian food. Meena is the girl in Blue T-shirt. After one month in College, Meena and I had already become great friends. She would share her lunch with me. Our eyes would talk the language of silence. I knew that she was in love with me. I also knew that she was waiting for me to propose her. From my great experience with my relationship with girls, i had become an expert in knowing what a girl wants. All my previous assumptions had backfired. But I knew that this time,I was right when I realised that Meena was in love with me.
Meena was the blonde of my life. Her classroom was in the third floor and my class room was in the first floor. So I would wait for her in the first floor and I would go for lunch with her. One day while I was waiting for her in the first floor, my mobile phone rang. It was Meena

Me: Hello Ponds ( That's how I call her)
She: Chriz! I am stuck here.
Me: Why? What happened? ( There was complete concern in my voice)
She: There is a power failure and the elevator is not working
Me: So what is the problem
She: I am stuck outside the elevator. I am waiting for the last 15 minutes.
Me: Oh
She: Chriz.. I do not know what to do now. Please help me.
Me: Ok Ponds.. Why don't you use the stair case?
She: Thank you Chriz. I would do that.

We had many intelligent conversations like this and in due course of time, we became an inseparable pair. Meena was very popular in college because of her blue jeans. The blue jeans is washed on a regular basis (Once a year). One night, Meena called me up
She: Chriz! Congratulate me
Me: Congrats Ponds. Now tell me, What did you achieve?
She: I successfully completed a very complicated Jigsaw puzzle.
Me: How much time did you take to complete the puzzle?
She: I just took two days to complete it.
Me: But don't you think that it is a very long time to complete a puzzle?
She: No. It is not. In fact the cover says "2 years and above"
Me: Oh. Then we should celebrate it :)
She: Now I think I can attempt an even more complicated jigsaw puzzle. I would bring it to college tomorrow
The next day, she failed to bring the puzzle to college but she kept on saying that the puzzle was indeed very complicated. I still kept encouraging her telling that she would successfully complete the puzzle in no time. Later that night she called me again
She: Chriz! I need your help. I can't complete this puzzle
Me: Have you at least finished 50% of the puzzle?
She: I could not even start this puzzle. It is so complicated
Me: Does the cover of the puzzle have the image of the puzzle?
She: Yes! The Puzzle is about a Rooster.
Me: What else do you see in the cover?
She: I also see something written on it
Me: What does that say?
She: K-E-L-L-O-G-G-S-- C-O-R-N--F-L-A-K-E-S
Me: What? How do the puzzle pieces look like?
She: They are brown in color and they are not flat.
Me: Ok! Ponds. I have a head ache now. Can you bring the box to college tomorrow?
She: Ok (She was in tears)
The next day she brought the corn flakes box[link] to college. I took it to the boys hostel. We guys had a great breakfast the next morning. Two years of college life went by like a passing cloud. I never proposed to her;neither did she. Soon the graduation day came. We were all in black attire. I am the one standing second from left and Meena is the one standing second from right. College life ended and we all moved to different parts of the world. We chose our own future.
After three years of college life, I got a call from Meena. She said,"Chriz, I am thinking of you."... There was complete silence for sometime. Then I started speaking
Me: But why Ponds now? What made you think about me?
She: I was going through our graduation picture and that made me call you
Me: The one in which we all are in black attire?
She: Yes. That is one picture that I would never forget in my life
Me: Why?
She: I thought you would propose to me in college. I gave you all the hints
Me: I was shy.
She: I knew that you were a chicken. That's why I wanted to give you one last chance on our graduation day.
Me: But I don't remember you giving me any hints on the graduation day.
She: Check the picture clearly. I was extending my hand for you to hold my hand. But you were holding Rohini's hand. You broke my heart that day
Me: Can I mend it now? Can I make you mine now?
She: No. It is too late. I have a guy now.
I had tears in my eyes...
-Chronicwriter

Aug 8, 2009

353. dArE To bE NaKeD

Breaking News: On Wednesday, 72 women around the globe were admitted for a peculiar case of neck sprain. They experienced pain on their neck and all of them reportedly admitted that they had spasms on their left shoulder. They also suffered from dysentery. After careful diagnosis, Doctors have finally found the reason behind their illness. These 72 women were last seen viewing a particular picture of Chronicwriter. An enlarged view of the picture is added here for viewer discomfort. [Photo]. Are these, the 72 virgins?

I received threats from all corners of the globe for posing half nude. A very homely lady, Sakhi Rawant even issued a public statement in a porn site.

The author of the Chronicwrite Blog, Chriz is a nobody. But he thinks very high
of himself. He does cheap stunts to catch people's attention. What does he think
of himself? By posing without a shirt, does he think that he can win the hearts
of girls around the globe? He is a shame to the country. If he really has the dolls, can he add a picture of him without his underwear?

Being a violent web-user, I happened to read the interview in the porn site. I am not gonna add the URL of the porn site because I do not have intentions to spoil the innocent minds of the budding youngsters around the globe.But if you still insist, you can shoot an e-mail to me. Sakhi Rawant's outrageous statement made me to think. I never felt sad or angry for all the bad things she told about me. Instead, it worked up my brain cells and I realised that she had a point in her words. So here is a picture of me without my underwear.


I was just 9 months old then. I hated wearing under wears. I had complete freedom. I could crawl anywhere around the house without any fear. I could even pee at any spot that i felt like releasing the pressure. I was an expert in digging up sand from latch holes on the floor. I even used to eat them. My dad would have thought that his son would become an archaeologist. When I grew up, my dad would have realised that he was building sand castles in thin air.

Many a times, I would be missing from the scene of action. My mom would panic big time and would search for me all around the house. But my dad exactly knew where to find me. He would also crawl like me and would sneak under the cot and would catch me in the far end corner under the cot. On all the occasions, I would be caught red handed for munching some delicacy. The delicacies for a nine month old baby are plastic objects, stone, chalk pieces, coins, wax candles and sand.

I was smart even when I was nine months old. I realised that my dad was catching me every time i played the hide and seek game. So I decided to hide in a place where no one could catch me. As usual, I was naked. I crawled around the house and finally decided to hide behind the big orange bucket in the bathroom. I slowly crawled towards the bathroom. On the way, I had the privilege of picking a small piece of paper which found its way into my mouth. I also picked up a Vicks Vaporub container that was lying under the table and continued to crawl. I was seeing Vicks Vaporub for the first time in my life. I finally reached the bathroom and I was happy that my mission was accomplished. I ended up positioning myself behind the big orange bucket. I waited for my parents to start searching for me.

After five minutes, my mother started her frantic search. She called my name aloud and started running around the house. My dad wasn't worried much. He knew where to find his son. So he crawled under the bed and was shocked not to find me there. Just before he could have his heart in his mouth, he heard a loud scream coming from the bathroom. He rushed to the bathroom. I was in tears.

Why did I cry?

Try applying Vicks vaporub on a baby's private parts and you will know the answer to the question. You can also try it on yourself. I am still scared of Vicks Vaporub.

-Chronicwriter

Aug 5, 2009

352. Just move along with the flow

Playboy is an American men's magazine. It was also the leading porno-magazine for men. In the nineties, getting/owning/touching a copy of a playboy magazine was a dream for many teenage boys. The author of this blog also had the same dream. It is an unfulfilled dream. But this post is not about that dream. Chronicwriter started to type this post. He doesn't have a clue about what this post is all about. So let us all, Just move along with the flow of this post.

The advent of Internet-porn and the easy access of pervertion-inducing- materials through the web has caused serious problems to the Playboy publications. Playboy publication might be NO-MORE very soon. The print sales of playboy magazine has suffered a major loss in the last one year [link]. This post is also not about the negative impacts of Internet. Just move along with the flow...

The main reason, why pornography has thrived so far is because of the willingness of the actor to strip and act. Stripping comes naturally to a few actors. However, many actors prefer getting drugged/drunk to get stripped. Paris Hilton is classic example of a human being who strips her clothes off, the moment she gets drunk. Chronicwriter used to have this habit too during his drinking days. Let us talk about drunk people for sometime. Still Chronicwriter has no clue where this post is heading to. So Just move along with the flow...

Most people who drink, never admit that they get drunk. They are always scared that people might think that they don't have a good drinking capacity. In my college days, my friends used to take me along with them when ever there was a alcohol party. One gulp of alcohol-mixed-syrup was more than enough to get me high. So I'd be the automatic entertainer during all the bachelor parties. I never knew why I was pulled in for all the drinking parties. I would Just move along with the flow

After becoming an expert drunkard, Chronicwriter could find whether a person is drunk or not using the Three-point-technique

  • 1) A person is drunk if he can concentrate well with one eye closed.
  • 2) A person is drunk if he spends more time on the floor lying down than standing up.
  • 3) A person is drunk if he finds his girlfriend/wife beautiful.
By the way do you know the story about the Drunk guy who went to confess? If you do not know let me tell it here. After a heavy night of drinking at a local bar, a drunk stumbles into a catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confession booth. There, the priest patiently waits for the man to begin his confession. After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window. The drunk remained silent. The priest again taps again and clears his throat. No reply again. The priest loses his patience and starts banging. Finally the drunk yells out," Hey!No use knocking.. There ain't no paper over here either" I still do not have a single clue on where this post is heading towards.I would request you to Just move along with the flow.

There is a pub which exploits drunk souls. They come up with special offers which are very attractive for drunk people. The sales of the pub has skyrocketed to new levels after their special offers got real good responses from drunk people. See this picture. It is their special offer.

Hope the readers would have got into the flow of this post by now. If not, Just try to move along with the flow. Getting drunk induces the person to kick dogs. Chronicwriter has kicked a dog after getting drunk. I am glad that PETA activists did not catch him red-handed.People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is an animal rights organisation based in USofA with over two million members. Actors/Models around the Globe have joined the " I'd rather go naked than wear fur" campaign. Most of these models are leading models that include lot of Baywatch beauties also. Now I am pretty sure that more than 70 % of my readers would have started goOGGLing for some PETA model picture. I am not gonna add any of the lady models' pictures in this post. But just because I know that lot of my female readers adore John Abraham, I am adding John's pose for PETA.

Now I am sure that the female readers would have got into the flow of this post. When leading actors find it so easy to strip and pose naked/half nude in front of the camera, Chronicwriter decided that he should also strip for a good cause. Finally after spending quality time thinking about it Chronicwriter finally made up his mind to strip for the water creatures. No one has ever done modeling for an anti-fishing campaign, but the author of this page did it.He went to a river and posed half naked standing inside the water. Check his anti-Fishing photo.

A note to PETA activists: Are you listening? You can use this foto for your campaigns

Just move along with the flow...

-Chronicwriter