Dec 17, 2009

380. Farmville and the idiots

To start with, I would like to extend my gratitude to all my readers for voting me as India's third most humorous writer in the recently concluded indibloggies poll. The vital statistical information of the poll is added here. I bow down to all my friends who voted more than once from proxy ids. The results of this year's polls has taught me to be more vigilant and competent for next year's finals. I promise to create many e-mail ids before next year's poll.

Moving on to today's topic, I am gonna write about one thing that gets on my nerves every time i go online. I am talking about Farmville. Farmville is an addictive game application found in facebook.Farmville fans can now enjoy the addictive farming game on http://www.farmville.com/ and bypass the Farmville Facebook App which they have been using so long. You still require to connect to Facebook for log in, so that you can retrieve your saved game and level, but the interface is much better. I was never sucked into the Farmville Craze even though, I was once forced to join Farmville by one blackmailing friend of mine.

Let me tell you, how i was tricked to join farmville. It was a cold November night. I was online and I was asking my friends to vote for my blog in the indibloggies competition. My friend Meera happened to be online too. I should have kept quiet. But out of sheer greed to get one more vote i started a conversation with her on Facebook chat.
Chrony : Hi Meera. Ssup?
(No reply for a long time. Was she throwing attitude? Should i send another message?What the heck? After all I get one more vote.)
Chrony : Hey Meera
Meera : Tell me. I am busy.
Chrony : Ok I'll make it quick then. Do vote for me in the indibloggies poll in the humor blogger category.
Meera : Yes. I will vote for you if you do me a favor
Chrony : and that is..???
Meera : Be my neighbour in farmville
That's how i joined farmville. out of the 161 votes, Meera's vote was because of farmville (Thanks to farmville). Every farmville expert would have seen this brown cow in their farm. It is not just an ordinary cow. It gives chocolate milk. What can one do with virtual chocolate milk? I am at least ok with the brown cow roaming around in the farm. But I could never digest the existence of the lonely pink cow which gives strawberry milk. We should be really vary of these cows. They have the audacity to give milk in different flavors but still end up getting lost in various farms. The moment i see them with their innocent faces, i feel like punching them. I would have done that, if i were using my friend's laptop instead of mine.Where on earth can you find a pink cow? I haven't seen one in my entire lifetime. I have seen a pink bull though. I saw the pink bull in a jallikattu ( The bullfight of Tamilnadu). I was just thinking whether it would give strawberry milk too. If you are a smart reader, you would have said," Hey Chriz! But one cannot milk a bull". To all those smart readers, i have one thing to say," Try milking the pink bull. You will see it smile"

A recent online conversation between Suresh and Chronicwriter. (Suresh is Chronicwriter’s classmate in college and he is recently married)

Chrony : Hi bro.. Howdie?
Suresh : Hi Chriz.. I am ok. How you?
Chrony: Just ok? You are just married for a week.
Suresh : Yeah Right
Chrony : Why do you sound so down? Any problem with your wife?
Suresh : Things were better when I was single, bro.
Chrony: Why? What happened?
Suresh : Its 11.30 P.M and she is playing Farmville.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Farmville is cited as a major reason for future divorces around the globe.A public message to Mrs. Suresh: I hope you would have understood your mistake by now. But I would rather prefer you to continue playing Farmville, because I am pretty sure that you would have a quality time tending your crops at Farmville than spending it with Suresh. Does he brush his teeth at least now?

My collegemate-Robert, who once had the habit of pelting dogs with stones especially during the dog-mating season ( I have no idea why he was jealous) is also in facebook and he plays farmville too. He is very gentle to his ducks, turtle and all the farm creatures. I can't believe it.

I would have earned the wrath of many of my friends through this post. But that doesn't stop me from saying this to all my facebook friends, "One more farmville request from anyone,I will surely massacre all your animals in the farm and eat them up.I would not stop there... I would chop off all the plants in your farm and burn your crops and would even cut your pink cow's tail.

Conclusion : Stop fooling around in farmville. Start helping the real farmers

-Chronicwriter

NB: If you want to become chronicwriter's Facebook friend, please click this [link]

75 comments:

  1. ROFL.....i share d same sentiments bro.....n i feel srry for suresh too:D..

    however, isnt there a golden cow dat gives golden BEER.....I m sure u & me wont mind farmville if it is...:D

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  2. my my...how true!! its so so so irritating the whole farmville thing!! and i hear there is fishville too?? gah. help!
    first it was the mafia wars,then this!! uff.
    loved the post. feel sympathy towards suresh,of course.and i know robert like people too!!!

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  3. These are my feelings towards farmville and mafia wars.. thank you very much for vocalizing it wonderfully..:)

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  4. Congos 4 d 3rd place!!!

    I voted 4 u too(if u dint know that) :P

    Meera Parameswaran drove you to Farmville ? Wow!!!!

    **Chrony: Why? What happened?
    Suresh : Its 11.30 P.M and she is playing Farmville.

    Still ROFLing :P


    Bhagooo save the couple!!!

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  5. hehehe true!! I even made a cartoon on this farmville thing
    http://opinionsandexpressions.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/over-the-years/

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  6. 3rd place? apo renu?

    ///" Try milking the pink bull. You will see it smile"//

    Damn you, man.. ha... ha...

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  7. Nice msg at the end.... I just loved it ... as usual your post is hilarious :)

    I feel a pang of guilt running from my head to toe!!! Lemme get de-addicted soon!!! :)

    and NOooooooooooo I won't go to the extent of making my hubby wait till I farm.. I'll ask him to join farmville tooo :P

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  8. hehe! Chris looks like my PC is your good friend? eh? Because as soon as i open farmville, it shuts on me *tup* and I'm all blank. Lol. Its been very long since I've opened farmville. But my sis maintains it for me now lol. And trust me i started hating farmville because everyone is buying loads of stuff and my PC never lets me open my farm. So i hate it now.

    And hey lol@ the straw berry milk :P I wish there were real pink cows! would have made it so easy for the barista guys who always take so much time making a strawberry smoothie for me.

    :D Nice post ;-)

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  9. hahah:)loved the post..
    well i wouldnt lie...but i too got kinda addicted to farmville and managed to reach some level 17 or something..and post that i havent looked back it..so totally hate the game!!
    loved d subtle message in the end

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  10. Congo! for the third position. Next time am sure u will be the winner coz i will definitely vote for you. I was away so wasnt aware about the contest.

    Oh yes everybody seems to be bitten by this farmsvilla bug. My friend has no time for me coz she is all the time busy reaping or planting virtual crops on facebook. I truly empathise with your situation.

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  11. Good going dude...but frankly..next year i am also coming...hu hu ha ha ha...:P

    ok...my feelings towards farmville are not enimity...but my blog readers r busy farming....and killing...and cooking...and goknowswhat...:D

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  12. hahhahaha, i agree completely!

    so there was a time, when my convos revolved around.. OMG, it's the weekend, better harvest the strawberries etc etc... and then i just lost interest!... JUST LIKE THAT

    and now, i have even blocked FV feeds, gosh, has reduced the live feed traffic by 90%!!... loved this post

    take care :)

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  13. HAHAHAH!! I am sure you will hate me then :P Me, An addict to FV :P

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  14. Hey chriz, my first time here :P
    And my hands are itching to send a farmville neighbor request :P
    But I wanna save my pink cow's tail :P
    Height of farmville :
    Chrony: Why? What happened?
    Suresh : Its 11.30 P.M and she is playing Farmville.

    ROFL :P

    MEOW : I won't go to the extent of making my hubby wait till I farm.. I'll ask him to join farmville tooo :P
    Ditto for me too :D :P *wide grin*

    Hi5 meow!

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  15. LMAO ROFL!

    Chriz my brother n I are rolling here reading this post.

    I play farmville and tend to virtual ducks n chickens n pigs and turtles but I swear I have no pink or brown cows and I have never sent you and invitation to play this stupid dung of a game.

    But my god this post is hillarious, I hope this keeps your persterers or blackmailers at bay. LOL.

    Peace.

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  16. Seriously farmville irks me! Best way is to block the application totally! No updates, no invites = no spam!

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  17. haha.. i am such addict. and it does not end at farmville i am on fishville and cafe world and pet ville as well.. but i have come out of the addiction and as of now i am only regular on farmville and cafeworld.hope that addicion goes as well :)

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  18. crap! Farmville rocks! I play farmville... I love it!

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  19. i never played it but i joined it because some frnds want me to be their neighbor :P..this can be main reason for divorce also :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  20. oh some of my friends are so hooked on to farmville! yes I'm a neighbor too, and they keep telling me that my crops are wilting or have some kind of sporaisis.! and yes about the bull!! well they have ducks and things too :/

    ps: i play sorority life :P

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  21. ajay: golden cow -golden beer. u r greedy bro

    damsel: if robert finds me alive, i am dead

    anly : voice of anti-famrville

    anwesa: its not meera parameswaran. its a classmate of mine

    reema : checked those pictures .. nice ones

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  22. pappu : first prize kedachurndhaa mattum renu enna kedaikavaa poraa?

    meow : yaar andha victim?

    esther : oh no!!! not again

    richa : much needed message

    shas : let us lend supporting shoulders to each other

    SID: all blog mates are doing that

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  23. odewriter : haha. thanks much

    nuchu : naaa..

    shruti : if you send me a farmville request, i'll not just cut your pink cow's tail.. :P

    cinderella : the siblings are fine now?

    harish : i blocked it too :)

    pooja : * shakes head *

    melvin : :P

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  24. ramya : your hubby will be crying with Suresh one day :)

    hemanth : yus bro.. block the application

    illtry2be.. : anotha game.. :)

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  25. You spoke of your joining farmville in a tone that reminded me of exciting kid stories my dad told me (when I was a kid, not he, of course. :P).

    I agree with you. I loathe Farmville too down to the last details though I do not know much about it y'see. :D. Nice message at the end - it would make more sense if we even thought of real farmers let alone help them.

    Pink cow story was typical Chriz stuff!

    Cheers bro! :)

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  26. Hilarious post as usual.
    I also have some farmville invitations and some vampire war invitations too. I would have joined as well but one look over the friends who sent me those convinced me that I surely don't want to end up as useless as they are. :D
    I voted for you twice .....but voted for another guy thrice :P . Please don't mind that as the other guy promised me a laptop and a flat in south Delhi in bargain. You only promised me smiles. I did the calculations....:D

    He is very gentle to his ducks, turtle and all the farm creatures.
    Do you mean he doesn't punch his laptop screen!!! Try that, you might end up as knuckle boxing champion. Btw, these days a mechanic in Nehru Place uses my laptop as a punching bag ,and all my neighbors are scared to hell of my punches. You see, I needed that bargained laptop for my practice.
    Nice message at the end.
    Cheers and sorry for the long, boring comment.

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  27. Farmville is indeed a silly game, be smart and play age of empires, quake three arena and Tomb raider.

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  28. I seriously hate that game...I mean people are so JOBLESS....

    And guess what? I'm leading in the votes as of now....ThankQ for your advises and votes you gathered... :D

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  29. lol..loved it...i get umpteen invitations to join Farmville and it just irirtates.. and where in this world do u find a 'pink cow'??

    And Congrats!! write more and be Indias Number One Next year :) My vote is Confirmed!!!

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  30. hahaha.. :D I feel bad for mister Suresh besides anyone else..Meera oru loosu..yaarukkuthaan theriyaathu..Anthu votekellam poyi farmville join panyaacha..sollirundha,naane pottiruppen.. Enikku thaan 7 ids irukkee.. :D

    Love,
    Nikhil

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  31. Dai super post da i was forced by many to join many ... u know i dont like online games ( Ennaku vellaiyada theriyathu unmai) Farmville Farmville enga ponnalum same blood

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  32. Hehehehe that was hillarious man. Rofl... Poor pink cow :) im new to farmville and all my crops have already rotton. Congratz on 3rd rank.

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  33. LOL!! Congrats on the 3rd place man! Continue writing like this...next year you're sure to come 1st! (or maybe not...don't hurt the sentiments of Farmville people man!)

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  34. Congrats on the third place! Well deserved :D Now I know how you got those votes ;)

    Pink cows giving strawberry milk ? Wow !!!

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  35. 10 years from Now, for sure your friend suresh would wish for a Farmville!! Anyways convey my wishe to him.

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  36. LMAO....

    seriously bro..I don't find any sense in this game ...my gf plays my farmville from my account.. actually it is my cover for mafia activities... girls only play mafia if I am their farmville neighbour...lol...

    see 3400+ frnds..

    but buddy milking a bull..ain't it too hard ...u need to be a cow or a vet to do that :D

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  37. Chriz...heaven sake, what a co incidence!

    One of my recent post was on Farmville too and the name of my post was [hold ur breaths]- Jai jawan, jai kissan & 3 idiots! here's the link- http://ektakhetan.blogspot.com/2009/11/jai-jawan-jai-kisaan.html[shameless mktng? no..lolz]

    I am on FV too..be my neighbour.. I promise to vote you in all seasons of blog polls..lolz..

    Aur haan mere animals aur plants mat kha jana:)

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  38. PS: your link for facebook is not working...now how am I suppose to blackmail you? :(

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  39. i had a night dress which had pink cows with flowers on them all over the dress! :D

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  40. omg you're so so so right! I was working on my physics lab and consulting my partner through fbchat. And she was taking so long to reply. When I finally began to yell at her, she said she was busy tending her crops! And I was like wth, I'm trying to figure out the exponential change in energy and you're... making virtual crops/cows/ducks? haha People's addiction to that game amazes me.
    Hilarious as usual!

    (you should talk about mafia wars and sorority life too!)

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  41. brown cow - chocolate milk
    pink cow - strawberry milk
    white sheep - wool
    black sheep - wool
    why not black wool? :|
    elephant - circus peanuts! :O

    farmville aint consistently lame.


    i play farmville.. i love beautifying the farm ... though its painstakingly boring..
    it somehow refreshing to click hundreds of tiny squares once a day .. :|

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  42. Hey

    I have launched a new Farmville site

    If you want the latest hints, tips and cheats then have a look at http://www.ultimatefarmville.com

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  43. Haha....I am so glad to find another person who shares the same thoughts for Farmville...

    I too have similar fears for couples.. :-D

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  44. hey cool blog..if there was a 'pple who hate farmville' club, i wudve been the president!!the game is soo senseless..n on top therez yoville n fishville..so irritating!!

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  45. interesting blog!! although i like farmville, but i can understand emotions of those who hate it to the core.. :P Made me laugh Big time on Pink Bull.. :P :P
    keep writing such stuff!! Greattt work! Loved it..

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  46. Hey...blog-hopped and came across your blog. Nice one...
    And yup...join the club..I hate Farmville too...dunno whats so addictive about it...its so repelling!

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  47. haha i swear! sometimes i feel like i'm the only one on this planet who doesnt play farmville. i donno. online games were never my thing and farmville..well for some reason the name kinda turns me off? lol.

    and congrats on getting voted 3rd! yay!

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  48. never played , and now never will, cool post with a cool meaning loved it

    but hate you, kya saale bhool gaya kya mujhe, its been months since you were on my blog...

    farmville i hate you too


    take care and keep writing..........

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  49. He he.. Loved this post.completely hilarious..Though i was once addicted to farmville too..loved da game..thankx 4 da link.by da way.. how do u know so much bout da game? Did u try it as well.. Lol..

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  50. haha..*ROFL*

    Very nice post..Luvd it!
    I started playin FV juz 2 month before during my Holidays..But now totally addicted to it..All the same, I know its such a tym sucker nd a stupid game..But couldnt quit :)))
    Howdie...Be my FV neghbour.?..Lolz :D

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  51. hey Do u mind if I link this page on my Fb ?

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  52. LOL

    Punching the cow on the face? LOL..U are so voilent :P

    Cute post..Loved it

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  53. Same feeling here.. tired of seeing farmville feeds on wall.. :)

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  54. I too share the same sentiments !

    I think all the farmville players should be asked to first milk themselves and move aside ! :D

    I was giving awards too all my blogger friends :)

    And here the gift for you as well :)

    check my blog :)
    grab your copy :)

    god bless !

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  55. What about the green alien cow that gives Milkaton??

    Hilarious post!!

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  56. good to see someone who has not been sucked into farmville addiction. i've successfully resisted it so far. i've heard it can be terribly addictive, with no turning around once u get hooked.
    i dont have enuff time for fb, orkut and my blog.... let alone farmville :P

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  57. congrats funnyman :D.I left the farm and moved back to the city a week ago and i dont regret it at all.I thought there was an option to grow weed but man,..i was disappointed.All i got was ugly ducks and a pink cow.What the duck!

    keep writing chris.Peace ;)

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  58. chris....say with me... "LONG LIVE FARMVILLE"... :)

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  59. Hey Chrony! Happy New Year!

    Congrats on being chosen the third idiot!

    Whats Facebook?

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  60. Happy New Year mate :)

    FV sucks :P

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  61. okok!!
    that was quite true..
    i was so addicted to Farmville that am now out of it tired and angry!

    there is no end if u start playing it.
    but still dont u fool around my farm anytime.. coz i dont play doesnt mean that you can torture my animals.. :P :D

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  62. Hey Chrizzy. I know its been really long since I commented here :( Just dropping by to say that I posted.. Check when u r free bro..

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  63. my BF made me get addicted to FV and now we are enjoying our relationship even more.

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  64. every since my BF has put a bull and a strawberry cow in a kissing position and said thats u and me...i instantly fell in love with FV and even more on my BF

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  65. yuck!!!! how i hate farmville
    damn nice post this is :P

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  66. Hahaha...love the post! I hate farmville too! I'm really tired of seeing the updates everyday! and I've got more than 20 pending Farmville requests! I heard there is even an alien cow! hahaha!!

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  67. Loved the post...how true - Oh God, how much I hate Farmville. I am going to share this link on my page - hope at least one person gets the message.

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  68. Farmville in facebook is again not working..........

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  69. Farmville in facebook stopped working...............any idea why?

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  70. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  71. Blogger RINZU RAJAN said...

    i play farmville too...but i am not an addict...!!!not at all...

    i liked the sentiments you shared...i understand what your friends might have gone through...hmmmm....

    a disheartening fact if you take it seriously...for farmville may be stopped tomorrow due to technical glitches but the sacrament of marriage has to live...


    great insight into the farmville superstar's lives...!!!

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  72. The jallikattu photo is subject of copyright violation

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  73. The jallikattu photo is subject of copyright violation

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  74. The jallikattu photo used here is subject of copyright violation

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