Nov 3, 2009

369. Talk openly about sex

Trivia: If not for Sex, we would not be on earth in the first place. I would not be typing this post and you would not be reading it either.

Talking openly about sex is a taboo in culturally rich countries like India and also in Countries which are governed by religious laws. How ever the rape, child molestation rates are high in these countries too. This clearly indicates that there is a complete imbalance in the law-setting (vs) law-abiding percentage in these countries.

Peter Sickle says," Talk openly on the topic of Sex, because everyone are good orators in this topic even if they do not have practical experience" . Please do not ask who this Peter Sickle is. He was sitting next to me in a train journey and this was one of his statements from the conversation i had with him. This quote made me to think and I realised that we are all Hypocrites when it comes to Sex.

The hypocrisy is passed on by Parents to their children even when they are very small kids. 99 % of the parents find it really hard to talk confidently with their children about sex. Pseudo names are given to private parts and are taught to the children. Some of the names that are commonly taught are tutu, chuchu, puppy shame, winky, peepee, poopoo. This makes the child to believe that there is something dirty and weird about private parts. You wouldn't make up another name for a nose or ear. So why use a nickname for private parts?

Parents should openly talk about private parts with their children. Every child should know the actual name of their body parts. A penis is always a penis and a vagina should always be a vagina. Avoid using comical names like Turtle, Cuckoo.

Recently in Mexico a three year old baby girl was molested by her family car driver and the parents could not win the lawsuit against the culprit because the little girl used terms like " Pie and Dudu". The father of the child was furiated that he attempted to kill the driver. Now the father is in prison and the actual culprit is free.
Psychologists always stress that it is the natural way to communicate with kids about their bodies which makes them confident in real life. It will boost the personality of little children also. I recently talked on this subject with my friend and his wife. They have two children aged 7 and 4 respectively. This is what my friend's wife had to say

I never had taught them the proper names because they had made up their own name for their vagina (their body). Don't know where they got it from but we never corrected them until now. I will have to say that I told my girls to not talk about their private parts with friends because each parent talks to their kids about it in their own way.

Parents should also teach their kids that private parts are not supposed to be part of public conversations and the kids would learn where to use the terminologies and where not to use them in a conversation. I am not trying to be corny. I am just voicing my view on a topic that is very serious. If you can relate to this post, you would understand the thin line between vulgarity and being Broad minded. If you can't fathom the idea behind this post, there is every possibility of drawing your own conclusions.

Yes we need a change in the way we bring up our children. We should stop being a hypocrite. Interviews with sex-offenders give a clear indication that they were not taught the right words for private parts when they were young and when they grew up, their curiosity on the topic on sex took dangerous turns.

Oh my goodness! Did i just type this post? I was going through this post and i was reminded by Mr.X( my alter-ego) that i am still single. It has been 24 years of falling in love and i have never been reciprocated for any of my attempts at falling in love. When I thought about this, i was filled with sadness and i could hear a feeble voice in my head saying," Mera Number kab aayega?". I was controlling my tears and i almost succeeded in controlling my tears until i read the news article about the 112 year old man who married a 17 year old teenage girl [link]

Some guys are lucky indeed. But still at 112? I am still crying.

-Chronicwriter

28 comments:

  1. i recently shared that article on FB....and the response was amazing....people were shocked to say the least :D

    awesome post!

    Amit

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  2. 112 year old man who married a 17 year old teenage girl///

    lucky old man. try to be born in africa nxt time..

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  3. taboo and hypocrisy goes hand in hand, atleast here in this country.

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  4. Curiosity increases only when something isn't discussed properly - well put post Chriz ji :)

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  5. lol..I agree with pappu..do something so that in the next life make sure u r born in an islamic country or somewhere in africa.. :D

    "Puppy Shame"..heard this term after quite a while...concluding para was lolable mann...

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  6. i agree with the former part for the post, the latter is unbelievable!

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  7. 112..17...:O:O
    btw...pappu is right :P

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  8. thalaiva I have also been committed for the past 20 years, same pinch.

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  9. Unbelievable !!! By the way i agree with ur opinion Chrony.. Simply they jus fuss about everythin without knowing its another part of the body !!

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  10. i so agree with you! this post is really intellectual. and what you said about being vulgar and broadminded is so true...really nice post!

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  11. curiosity killed the cat nu chummava sonnanga.. wat we are doing is kindling the curiosity more n more..
    wen u lock a lion inside a cage, it'll somehow break the cage and kill u.. jus let it free.. it wont even harm u.. idha try lam pannadeenga.. chumma dialogue dan.. n indha madiri news ellam engendhu pudikareenga.. r u tryiong to develop inferiorty complex among ur readers..

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  12. 112 -17 man...where is this world going...he definitely is one lucky old guy...:P....

    yes thats really true that lot of people get curious only when they dont discuss it openly...now they will with ya :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  13. oru vishayatha marachcha thaana atha paththi neraya therinjukka thonum!

    ponnunga vayasukka vantha mattum ellathayum solidraanga,namakku onnume solrathilla! enna koduma sir ithu!:O

    recent ah thaan enaku therium, ponnunga avanga amma kooda roadla pogum pothu road-la pora pasanga smart-ah iliyanu discuss pannuvaangalaam! ithu vara pasangaloda appavo,ammavo 25 vayasukku munnadi ponnunga paththi pechchu eduthatha kelvi pattadhu illa!

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  14. yeah that thing was a cxomplete shocker!!i mean do ppl still live till that age!? But i think its an exception. No wonder it made it to the newspaper.

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  15. ya ya...candid speaking is far better than the nickies!! just imagine wat if a kid wud come and ask bluntly then! ..and that article...ewwwww!

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  16. fat ol' b****rd sure must be lucky... at 112, may he die at 113 and forfeit his wife to me, NOT kidding :P

    nice post btw

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  17. lolzz that picture is so many...
    the number of tabboos be hv in our society if printed would give epics like Mahabharata a run for money... nice post ...

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  18. cant believe u wrote that post... makes so much (serious) sense :-) but i completely agree...

    as for the last bit... my heart broke seeing the expression on the girl's face... must be from one of the poor families where they r forced to give girls away in marriage in return for money or land or some other help. if there were any way to murder that man, i would... to save that girl. (and no that is not due to my own frustration... :P welcome to the club lol! we are all in the same boat as far as being single is concerned - if thats any consolation)

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  19. One's got to realize that talking about sex to young ones should be done gradually as they mature. While associating names like poo poo pee etc, is not wrong, it must be gradually explained once they begin to understand a bit more about their body.

    Explaining the difference between a penis and vagina if not done properly or too early could have an altogether different result.You could run the risk of a child loosing his/her innocence earlier than expected.

    So while we should certainly end hypocrisy surrounding sex, we should also make sure we do it sensitively and carefully.Parents need to be mentally ready themselves first, before deciding to have the birds and bees,oops sex talk, with their kids !

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  20. wow..someones changing profession to be a sex preacher... :D...

    and that 112 bastard is lucky indeed... but i guess that 17 one is lucky more as she gonna inherit a lot of money without even getting loosing her virginity :D

    and is Nunu a nickname ??? I don;t know whole north India practically use this term for penis :D

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  21. Chriz to be very honest, I agree in principle with the title - open talk (if not public talk) about sex is necessary as about other issues made delicate!

    But neenga yen indha post yezhudhinennu neengale oru kelvi kekkareengale???! Without being sarcastic, I can't think of a reason. But the message seems to be a good one to send across! :)

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  22. plz dont yaar, tumhare liye bhi ladki hai, agar bhagwan ne banayi he toh :P


    but really great topic you talked abt, parents are the guys who should talk it out to children abt, sex, and you told absolutely rgt abt how they should tell it great work :)


    take care and keep writing..........

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  23. Good post sire. Very serious issue and I shall remember this when I talk to my kid. BTW, what was the Somalian girl thinking when she yes to that Mummy??

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  24. Really nice. Indians really are hypocrites. This probably wasn't the scene in much older times, otherwise we wouldn't have been the country of the Kamasutra and Khajuraho. Somewhere down the line somebody fkd up!

    Children today have access to all kinds of information. And every new generation is more and more resourceful. What they dont learn from their parents, they'll learn from elsewhere! So i completely agree with you on this one...

    About the african wedding...yeah it is really sad that a 17 year old has to endure this kind of a fate...but somebody should be talking to that old guy about the secret for his ability to procreate even at this age! :-)

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  25. I was controlling my tears and i almost succeeded in controlling my tears until i read the news article about the 112 year old man who married a 17 year old teenage girl

    @Chrz Pall(Teeth) irukravan Pakoda saapiduraan :P

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