Tuesday, September 29, 2009

362. Water in moon?

The Space research organisation of our country has discovered Urine samples in Moon. Many Scientists across the globe have raised both eyebrows and some have even poked their noses when they heard about this new discovery by India. The NASA scientists, how ever have congratulated India for finding Urine samples in Moon.

Speculations are that these urine samples might belong to Neil Armstrong who landed in Moon on 20 July 1969.The Russians still believe that Armstrong never went to Moon. The Russian scientists even believe that the Moon-walk drama of Armstrong was staged in a Hollywood studio. The major discovery by India is a shot in the arm for the Russian space scientists.

The Indian Space program chief, Madhavan Nair has said that India has found water samples in the crust of moon and not as H2O molecules. This whole finding has entered into the controversy books of Chronicwriter because India's maiden spacecraft, Chandrayaan-1 was aborted in August 2009. Chandrayaan carried a payload from NASA (Moon Mineralogy Mapper) which has mapped water molecules in moon.When the whole world is congratulating India on its major breakthrough, I would like to congratulate the scientists of ISRO for making this great discovery. But on the flip side, what do we gain through this discovery?

  • To find the typographic nature of moon?
  • To find whether life is possible in moon?
  • To study more about moon?
We have done enough damage to earth through ozone depletion and through CFC emission and now we are conducting experiments to damage moon and other planets too. My lines might sound very childish. But this is a common man's thought process and I have every right to tell all the scientists around the globe to first do research on Earth, to protect the earth's environment and then think about damaging the extra-terrestrial objects. Please clean Coovam and Ganges of India before you could even dream about experimenting with the urine samples found in moon.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

361. Childhood Games

This picture was taken when I was 6 years old. My sister is standing next to me. I do not have my two front teeth in this picture. I lost them during the Israeli war. The reason for me adding my childhood picture is to pictorially represent the content of this post.
Ages : 10 and below, would understand this post better

  • "1, 2, 3,4,8,9, 13, 15, 28, 29, 42, 48,49,50. I am ready. Here, I come"... I would say this and start searching for my friends. It has been more than two decades now. But those hide and seek games of my childhood days are still fresh in my memory. Yes, I used to cheat with my counting.

  • Wearing a hat and climbing trees was another great excitement boosting sport. Climbing the trees is usually accompanied by having hi-definition gadgets like a "cheap catapult" and a "cheap binocular".

  • Collecting railway platform tickets/travel tickets and using them for trading games was another regular game that i used to play as a kid. I remember the fights that i have had with my sister for those paper tickets.

  • Another interesting game was to break the legs of Barbie dolls (My sister's collection). Once i flushed a barbie doll in the loo. But the doll did not go down the drain. I was made to take the barbie doll with my bare hands.

  • Ludo,Snakes and Ladders, Chinese Checkers, Stealing the red coin from carrom board were popular board games of those days.

  • I remember a game that my sister used to play. The hopping-square game. A 4x2 table is drawn on the sand ground and the player has to hop on 1 leg and then throw the stone backwards in the last square box. I have forgotten the rules of the game. But i remember the girls used to love this game big time during those days.

  • There was this game played with marbles. My neighbour taught me that game. It was so much fun indeed.

  • On week-ends we used to go to the beach and fly kites. My dad taught me to make kites.

  • Paper boat game is the most popular game during the monsoon season. Papers from rough note books are torn and are re-designed as paper boats and they are made to float in the drainage during rainy season.

  • My sister also had this habit of collecting Glo dolls ( Dolls that glow in the dark). I used to steal those dolls and present it to my classmates (girls)

  • Another game that pulled me like a magnet was street cricket. I would come back from school and wait near the kitchen window and would longingly look at the empty ground near my house. Slowly my neighbours and street-mates would come to the ground with rubber balls and cricket bats. We would climb trees, break twigs and make stumps from them.
I recently came across this lovely video. I so badly miss my childhood now.

With the advent of internet and modern day electronic gadgets, kids these days live in a virtual world. Everything has become plastic offlate. The kids of the present generation do not have a single clue about the fun games that we played when we were kids. There are so many other games that we would have played in our childhood days. If you have any childhood game memories, please feel free to share in the comment section


Sunday, September 13, 2009

359. Right becomes Wrong

Warning : Gross/Mature/ Controversial Content. Parents are requested to read this without the knowledge of their children.

The great Tiger woods can sometimes miss an easy birdie. Sachin Tendulkar can sometimes get out on the first ball. Paris Hilton can surprise people by covering herself fully with some clothes. Instances like these happen on the rarest of rare occasions. This post is a collection of such instances that has happened in the life of the author of this page. These include inappropriate thoughts that bloom in his innocent mind during appropriate situations. The post also has details about some recent controversial news that has created a stir in the minds of People (especially Indians)

1) You don't realise what you'd got till it is gone.

This is a very wonderful Quote written by a person who must have been through a tough time in his/her relationship. If this quote is used appropriately, it sounds good. But why does this quote come into Chronicwriter's mind every time he makes his way out of the Loo?

2) Baddha Konasana

I am not cursing my readers in Greek or Latin. Baddha Konasana is a Yoga Pose. This asana is a beneficial pose for easy childbirth and it is strongly advocated for pregnant women. Click this link to see a model performing Baddha Konasana [link].

Chronicwriter was forced to do Yoga during his MBA days because Yoga was a compulsory activity in his curriculum. At first, he hated practising asanas. But when he soon learnt that there are asanas that were according to his liking, he started performing asanas with great interest. Two asanas caught his attention and he would spend one hour performing these two asanas.

  1. Matya Kridasana ( A very complicated Yoga pose) [link]
  2. Shavasana ( The toughest Yoga pose) [link]

Soon he mastered these two asanas and became the best Yoga student in college. One day he saw his friend (a babe) performing a new asana. Later he came to know that it was Baddha Konasana. Though he knew that this particular asana was advocated mainly for women, he still wanted to master it. Soon he became an expert in it too. Now he doesn't use a nail cutter to cut his toe nails. He can bite his toe nails while doing Baddha Konasana. The multi variant uses of Asana!!! If you have discovered any such special usage of any other asana, please feel free to add it in the comments section.

3) The uropath effect

When my 4th grade History teacher taught me about the former prime minister of India -Morarji Desai, she also mentioned that he was a practitioner of uropath. Uropath is otherwise called as urine therapy. A uropath practioner is one who drinks his/her own urine for health benefits.I immediately tried tried the uropath effect in the year 1991. But I disliked the taste and stopped becoming an uropath addict. Later in my life when I was 17 years old, I had my first intervention with alcohol (Kalyani Beer). Kalyani beer and urine have a similar taste. Now if you have tasted beer, you would have known how urine would taste like.

I just realised that the above three inappropriate instances are from my personal experiences. I would like to add two more irrelevant drama sequences enacted by Politicians of our country to garner media attention. The next two instances have been taken from an e-mail I received from a friend of mine.

4) Rahul Gandhi - The Labour worker

Rahul Gandhi has taken India by storm with his campaign and almost all the youngsters are behind him. Sure! he can talk well. No wonder he had a very cute girlfriend. He is leaving a great impression on the minds of the Google generation youngsters. But I request all the young minds to see this picture before you start believing in all the drama enacted in the political front [link]

5) Guinness World record Holder

The political drama reached new heights when the Chief minister of Tamilnadu "Dr. Karunanidhi" entered the Guinness book of world records when he Fasted for a social cause. The fasting started at 10 a.m (after breakfast) and ended at 11.30 a.m (before brunch). The fasting also took place in a public place.[link] He had air-coolers around him. He was also accompanied by his two wives who fasted too ( A modern day version of sati).

Sometimes right things appear as wrong things in our eye sight; sometimes wrong things appear as right things. If we have a sound discerning mind, no one can fool us.


Monday, September 07, 2009

358. My kind of girl

I never felt that I was missing something in life until I realised that i am still single. So if you would ask me whether i would be ready to mingle; the answer would be a loud NO. I find it really hard to handle myself (No pun intended in this line)and i do not want to think about settling down now . There should be only one chatterbox in the family and i strongly believe that it should be me. So should i find a dumb girl? I guess this has nothing to do with my latest attracton towards blondes.Sharapova, Kournikova,Ivanovic; Are you girls listening?

I wanted to marry Sania Mirza, because if she had become my wife, i could accompany her to the grandslams and sit in the crowd and start a conversation with a pretty girl in the crowd. But things did not go as planned and Sania got engaged. I was still ready to accept her. But when she was blanked in the US open second round 6-0,6-0 by Flavia Pennetta, i changed my mind. I dont wanna marry Sania anymore.

It is really hard to find a silent, calm girl. So the probability of me finding a calm girl is nearly nil. Hence I am finding alternate methods to adjust my life, if I end up with a chatter box as my wife. This is the kind of car I would buy. I would make it sure that my wife never gets to drive the car.

Do I have any other options? Should I marry a call girl? err... I meant a call centre girl/ telemarketing girl. I have got a very poor rapport with telemarketing girls. When I was working in the IT Industry, i used to receive regular phone calls from telemarketing girls. I didn't have a clue how they used to get my phone number. I would at least get two calls every week. I soon found a way to deal with them. I am gonna write about three conversation-incidents I had with telemarketing girls (TMG).
1) The caring girl

Chriz: Hello! Who is this? ( I did not know that it was a call from a telemarketer)
TMG: Hello Sir! How are you today? (I hear a girl's voice. My eyes go big)
Chriz: I am fine. Can I know who this is? ( In my best tone)
TMG: Sir I am calling from ABC company. Is it a right time to speak to you? (My eyes go small now and I have had more than enough from telemarketers. So I think of playing along)
Chriz: Yes! This is the perfect timing to talk with someone. I wanted to talk with someone. You know onething; No one cares for me these days. I am glad that you called.
TMG: But sir! I called to inform you that...
Chriz: What is your name?
TMG: Oh sorry sir. My name is Suneeta
Chriz: Wow. that is a lovely name. I had a classmate. Her name was Suneeta too. She is dumb. Hope you are not like her.
TMG: Sir I called to inform you that we have an offer
Chriz: An offer? Wow! You are so sweet. How thoughtful of you. Is it a free flight ticket to Australia?
TMG: Excuse me sir. But i called to inform you
Chriz: Hey Suneeta. I need to go and pee now. Why don't you give me your mobile number? I would give you a missed call tonight. We can talk freely. I would pour my heart out to my new friend

That was last time I ever received a call from Suneeta.

2) Hutch Customer Care girl

Back then,I had a hutch phone connection. So i used to get calls from Hutch customer care girls on a regular basis. At first, it was fun to receive calls from them. But when it became an habit, the calls became an headache. One day a girl named Binita called me and tried to get me to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan.When I replied in a husky voice, "I don't have any friends. would you be my friend?" she hung up.

3) Renu?

Once I got a call from a telemarketer and she sounded like my Renu. I kept on insisting her that she was indeed Renu. I asked to stop playing a joke too. "Come on Renu, cut it out! I found you, How is your hubby? Why didn't you name your son, Chriz?". The caller hung up. Now i think it was really Renu at the other end.

My tryst with call centre girls has yielded negative results so far and hence I decided to call my friend Stephen to give me gyaan about girls. Stephen was my college mate and he is like the Will Smith of Hitch. He recently got married. I rang him up.

"Hey Chriz buddy. How with you? Long time bro".

" Yes Stephen! How is married life?"

" It was good in the beginning. Now its boring?"

" Why? You were very good with girls and you ditched every girl in college. Now your folks found a cute girl for you. Why is it boring?"

"Marriage is like a bodyspray bro. It is fresh and nice in the beginning. But very soon the scent mixes with your sweat and combined effect is bad."

" So should i go for an arranged marriage or should i go for love marriage?"

" Well! Let me tell you something. Marriage is like a river. The bridegroom is a creature who doesnt know swimming. Arranged marriage is an art in which the bridegroom is pushed into the river by his folks. Love marriage is the art of committing suicide in which the groom takes the plunge all by himself"

"That is sad. I am scared of getting married now"

" Well. Let me tell you some thing more about life. Life has only two paths.1) Career and 2) Love. Career is nothing but building your career. Love is nothing but building your love"

"Err. How many pegs down?"

" Now pouring my 7th peg bro. Lemme tell you about two more things about life"

" I'll call you laterz bro"

Moral: Never ask advice from a drunk friefnd.


Wednesday, September 02, 2009

357. Fashion,Movies and Gossip

A friend of mine called me up and said,"Chrissy! Why do you write abstract topics in your blog all the time. Please do write about current affairs too". Chronicwriter never disappoints anyone. So this article is gonna be about the Hottest happening News around the Globe.

August 31st 2009 was a bad in Anand John's life. He got a minimum 59 year life sentence. The 36 year old Fashion designer would be a 95 year old man when he finally makes his way out of prison. Anand is the same designer who designs wardrobe collection for Paris Hilton, Janet Jackson and Oprah Winfrey. I can at least digest Anand agreeing to design clothes for Paris Hilton and Janet Jackson. But why would he and why did he select Oprah? Is that the reason behind his life sentence? 

Reliable sources, however said that Anand was sentenced because he was charged for raping 23 young models. Now who would design clothing range for Paris Hilton and Janet Jackson? Paris Hilton seldom wears clothes. A Hand kerchief is more than enough to cover her face. But what would poor Janet Jackson do? I strongly believe that Janet Jackson is behind Anand getting arrested because he designed her tops for her show with Justin Timberlake[link]. Justin is using that black leather cup as a face mask to protect himself from Swine Flue.

Swine Flu is claiming lives at a faster rate. More than 1000 people around the Globe have become victims to Swine Flu. A face mask is advocated for people to safeguard themselves from Swine Flu. All the Mexicans are wearing facemasks these days. These are the same Mexicans who revolted against wearing a condom. Apparently AIDS has claimed more than 1 million souls

Coming back to Anand John, he has been arrested for molesting little girls too. Hope he is not treated as God after his death. We have done it often. The whole world made fun of MJ for molesting children. MJ jokes were circulated as e-mail jokes. But suddenly when he died, everyone started calling him a saint. The world is full of hypocritical human beings.

Any topic on MJ is worth a million hits. Recently an UK tabloid created a stir by claiming that the third son of MJ, Prince Michael II's biological father is Macaulay Culkin. How ever the Home alone star is not at all shaken by such a News.

Clint Eastwood raised both his eyebrows when he was told that a competitor for him has finally emerged from India. The Indian Movie "Quick Gun Murugan" is a surprise package indeed for audiences around the Globe. Catch this teaser ad of the movie. Hope you would love it. The punch line in the movie," If you are lightening, I am 250 volt current , I say" has become very famous in India.

When all these News are creating waves around the globe, the comedy family of South India has finally decided to launch their Young Boy in the lead role in their upcoming movie. Yus! I am talking about Terror Romeo Rajender. T Rajender has two handsome sons. The first son is popularly called as" The little super star" by his dad. No one else calls him by that name. Everyone else call him chimpu. His younger Brother will be called as " The little mega star". His original name is Kuralarasan. He will be acting as a Romandick hero in TR's next movie. (Romandick is TR's pronunciation of Romantic). I tried to upload his picture in this post,not once but twice. My computer crashed. I stopped trying.

Latest news: TR has joined facebook.

If you want to become my facebook friend, please drop your FB screen-name in the comments section, or if you value your privacy just like me, you can mail your screen name to prason@chronicwriter.com