Jul 3, 2009

346. Being a Bachelor

When H.L Mencken came up with the very famous quote "Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.", the women community started calling him,"Mencken the Chicken". The author of this blog is a bachelor all his life (so far). This post is an attempt by him to prove to the rest of the world that a bachelor life is the greatest boon to Mankind.

Disclaimer: All the statements made in this post is from the personal experiences of the author and the author has no intention to hurt the sentiments of non-bachelors and women.

Additional Disclaimer: This post can be understood by people who have shared rooms with friends when they were bachelors.

Ten reasons why a Bachelor life is a boon to mankind

1) A bachelor can make the rules at home. It doesn't really matter, if the toilet seat is up or down. It doesn't even really matter even if the toilet doesn't have a seat. The kitchen is exactly not the place where cooking happens. A kitchen can be used for ironing clothes,washing clothes and sometimes used as the dining room.

2) A bachelor's bedroom will essentially have the following objects - A broken comb with strands of hair in it, A pillow cover that was washed a year ago, A bed sheet that serves the dual purpose of a hand towel also, a mobile phone under the pillow,a few notebooks that is full of poetry puked by the bachelor, a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too,socks on the tube light, underwear on the fan, a laptop that is never booted for more than a month, worn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of jeans on the hanger( This jean is worn by the bachelor when ever he leaves the house),a toothpaste-tube without the cap, a toothbrush which has bristles that look similar to Hitler's moustache,DVDs without the DVD cover and many more dynamic objects. A married man doesn't have such a privilege to have a bedroom like this.

3)A bachelor doesn't really need to return to the same house every night. He can crash down at his friend's house and he doesn't really need a bed to sleep. All he needs is a torn pillow shared by three people.He can go to work from his friend's place too. A house of the friend of a bachelor looks similar to the bachelor's house.

4) A bachelor can have as many girl friends as he can (at least in his dreams, if he is less talented like the author of this page). A bachelor is like an average Indian Cricket fan - He knows everything about the game and he can talk for hours about the game. But when you give him a bat, he will be bowled the very first ball.

5) Bachelors are extremely good cooks. If you have any doubts about this point, please check this[link]. But they forget all their cooking skills once they get married.

6) When a Bachelor smiles, you can clearly say that it is a Real smile.When a married man smiles, you know that he is faking it.

7) A bachelor will always remember his first love. The author of this blog also remembers his first love "Renu" always. Renu is married and is the mother of two kids now. But Chronicwriter's love for Renu is real.

8) Great people are bachelors.{Eg - Jeremy (My four year old nephew), Chronicwriter (Me) and Abdul Kalam (Former Indian President)}

9) A bachelor does not need to wake up with that same scared look on his face. My friend is married for the last two years and he says that when ever he wakes up from his sleep, he gets a scare. He said,"Chriz! Even the most beautiful woman in the world would look like a witch when she gets up from bed; Her hair will be all over the place and even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning". I said to him that I was not aware of this. So if you are a married man please tell me whether my friend was speaking the truth.

10) Bachelors need not wear the miniature hand-cuffs (Wedding rings). So they can play the guitar without any hassle. Chronicwriter dedicates one of his favorite songs to all his Blog readers. Check it out. It is the song of a Bachelor.

Bachelor Boy-Lyrics

1)When I was young my father said,Son I have something to say.And what he told me Ill never forget Until my dyin day.

He said son you are a bachelor boy,And thats the way to stay.Son, you be a bachelor boy until your dyin day

2)When I was sixteen I fell in love With a girl as sweet as could be. But I rememberd just in time,What my daddy said to me.

3)As time goes by I propably willMeet a girl and fall in loveThen Ill get married have a wife and a child.And theyll be my turtle doves.

-Chronicwriter

63 comments:

  1. Me d 1st fr d 1st tym!!!

    "even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning"....lol

    I'm a bach too.....!!

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  2. Chriz... sooper post.. sooper song :)
    the second point of the post, laptop that is never booted for more than a month???

    I've laptop which is never rebooted for past 6 months :P

    and how to boil water???hehehehe,.. aweful :O

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  3. Miniature handcuffs... ROFL...

    Chriz, you're just too good :)

    Loved all 10 of them :)

    Keep keep keep blogging!!!

    Have a great weekend :)

    Cheers!!!

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  4. (2) Rotfl. Underwear on the fan-laam konjam over aanaa Chriz. Yepdi ipdi yellaam??? I do not maintain my room well, but I have had the experience of being in those you have aptly described.

    Great people are bachelors... Jeremy???!!! (idha thavara yenakku yenna podradhunu theryala... thegachu poitten!)

    Bachelors always remember their first love???? ;). Hmmm.

    Enjoyed reading it Chriz. And thanks for the comment back @ mine!

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  5. ***The kitchen is exactly not the place where cooking happens. A kitchen can be used for ironing clothes,washing clothes and sometimes used as the dining room.***

    i so love this.. i remember my days of staying with roomies.. i miss those days :(

    lovely post!! u r blessed to be a bachelor.. njoy that life.. :P

    cheers

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  6. :-D Each point beats the other....

    Enjoyed reading. As you say, one cant really understand unless people have shared rooms with friends. I have never got such an opportunity. I know what I have missed...

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  7. Nicely written and expressed!

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  8. Yaaayyy!! Bachelor Club Ki Jai ho!! Nice way to describe being singleton chrizzy.. :)

    Particularly the waking up thing.. lol baby bachchan had just revealed this secret to the world.. :p

    Song was super cool..Excuse my ignorance,are these ur lyrics or is it a classic?? :)

    Take care bro..:)

    Nikhil

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  9. haha....hilarious.....
    well written..!!

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  10. Yeah, Only bachelors can and will write such posts about bachelorhood.

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  11. dats y i appreciate bachelorhood
    :)

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  12. Bachelorette lives are the same too, except the underwear hanging from the fan etc :P

    Nice post :D

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  13. And yeah, you sing well all the time. I love your voice!

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  14. lolz...my dad also told m to be a spinster gal until "his" dying day lol
    hahah

    lovely song lovely voice..

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  15. Whats with the 6th one? Nonsense! :P
    And ew at 2nd. Socks on the tube light? Do they influence the color? :\
    But anyway..hilarious as always!

    Divya lft you left you left you..you're singleeeeeeeeee!

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  16. Oru Divya post ezhudi, Bachelornu tiruppi ulagathuku unmaiya unaravekka, epdilam uzakaraanga pa:P

    Hilarious post! You rock:)

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  17. hehehehehe..
    could not watch the video..chal nahi aha mere comp pe..will watch it when i go back to delhi..

    but yes! out of all the things u mentioned that bachelors can do..i dont really do all of them ..but could relate to some for sure!:P

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  18. *Hi5*

    bachelors have it better than some of the rest. and im sure my dad agrees. poor man, all he can do is 'remember' what his singleton days were like...

    ...but so does my mom! (guess it runs both ways mate)

    :D

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  19. even married women have husbands :D
    :P

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  20. but isnt there a saying that 'All good things must come to an end'????

    :P

    take care bro... live it up :)

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  21. wooooooww! luvd tat song.. din read the post yet... wil getcha

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  22. single and married bachelors ? :P
    muhahahaha!


    same pinch. even i am a bachelor 'kid' ..hurray for life of a bachelor (whether he be single or married) !!

    the room description is awesome ... and gross .. (even though i'll have to excavate the things in my room :P )

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  23. haha.... I loved @richa s response...

    even married women have husbands.. but then


    bachelors are fun... we know it. she jus doesnt.. :P

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  24. ROFL.. Yes experienced all of them...

    But the same bachelor life chnages.. Like even nw Im bachelor but lives clean & tidy etc

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  25. yengo...as usual kalakal than!!

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  26. God and we women MARRY bachelors..*sigh*

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  27. u know i was readin ur post n apparently u were readin mine...
    i was halfway thru this article n an email popped up sayin u had left a comment on my blog..whoa...coincidence huh :)
    anyways, nice post as usual. rofl kinda funny :)

    keep writing.

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  28. Wow.. bachelors are so wasted!
    -A torn pillow shared by 3 people.
    -A sock hanging at the tubelight..


    boy o boy..

    I love that song though!

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  29. Its about time you get married

    -Chriz's mom :P :P

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  30. Whoa! Chriz, it's been 10 years since I listened to this song and the memories attached with this song are still green!

    Bravo! BTW, what happened to Divya?

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  31. a song video after such a long time !
    thanks for that..

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  32. You give me a reason to smile.. :) Nice post..

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  33. Wow amazing song.. I tried to download the song, but couldt. If u have it wid u.. pls attach it my id. Awesome post!!!

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  34. Loved this one Chriz. It's good that you are clear on how things are gonna be after the knot. The surprise is down. :) Marriage is alot less b'ful than how pre-marital courtship is. But I guess that's the law of life. Every one ends up getting married. And by the ways, I have chosen to keep my fingers uncuffed even after wedding. The ring grew smaller.So people keep asking me, so when are you planning to get married? :)

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  35. Chriz, you totally rock man!!! The song and post was just awesomeeee... :D I missed out on those videos u have on fb... Will surely catch up on em tomorrow!

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  36. 'Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife' wrt your 'love' for Renu :)

    To bachelordom mon ami!(hic!)
    I'm Reminded of Johnychayan from my post.
    Although bachelor with girlfriend is totally the way to be.
    No hassles, no worries, full jolly (not when sober)!

    And nice song. To us bachelors.Somebody save the world from us! :)

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  37. lol, great post..
    bachelor life indeed a life worth lived;))
    since i too have lived with friends sharing room, i can agree how carefree life was then!!

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  38. the fox said the grapes are sour :P

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  39. Fantastic.

    "a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too"

    Lol. You sure can spread a chronic love for your writes. Very nice.

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  40. this my first visit to the blog had a nice laugh, super post.

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  41. watched the video!!
    :D
    u sing well..n play well..n ur expressions are funny too!:D
    hehehe

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  42. watched the video!!
    :D
    u sing well..n play well..n ur expressions are funny too!:D
    hehehe

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  43. Surely, isn't the same for spinsters!

    Good post there, mate =)

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  44. Super da !!! Varutha Padatha Valliba Sangathu Urupinnar nee .... Dai Yaaru da antha renu ... SOlllu Solllu

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  45. Well.. My room fits well with our description. :-)

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  46. hahahah fucking insane stuff man !!
    Love you buddy.

    We have made cha (Read Tea Others) with the mix of ginger garlic while we were drunk at my friend's house.

    Maggi was our meal most of the time.

    Smoke,Radio,More smoke we have been singing like crazy whenever we had power cuts and btw you also sound one of use pal.

    Love this post best I ever have read...TOUCHED MY BACHELORHOOD

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  47. BachelorHood Rocks Man, Too bad that it does not last long .

    Make the most out of it :)

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  48. brought back a lot of memories,& thanx for ur posts its really entertaining.

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  49. OMG!! OMG!!!

    AWESOME song!!! And super post!! As always. :P

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  50. yes, this bachelor thing is best thing, but people are so discriminatory against us.

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  51. wow!!wht a song...and i so true abt bachelors. :P

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  52. torn pillow between 3 guys?
    pillow cover not changed for ages?
    toilet seat never down?
    *ugh*
    nice post... :P
    when will u take the plunge?
    cudnt see video....hostel net blocks it :-s

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  53. all were great and couple of lines were toooooo good,

    ypu are too good at this
    and damn you sing well too ;), the girls are unlucky to have you


    take care keep writing and keep singing too......

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  54. OH.. WOW.. U REALLY sing well... n guitar.. amazing!!! oh my i m a fan of ur guitar playing too from now onwards apart from ur writting skills.. u rock criz..!!!

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  55. Lolz...I could relate to every point! The jeans fact is very very very damn true! :P

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  56. Wonderful Chriz! U make me feel that i should have been born a guy!!!!
    And yes u sing soo well...good voice!!!

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  57. the description of the room is superb.... so true!!

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  58. Bro...

    This is too good... :) Loved the mouth of the angel... :D :D

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