Jun 9, 2009

340. The Beer Boy

Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beer Holder
- Anonymous Drunkard
I am very good with kids. Not the Michael Jackson way;but in a very healthy manner. The kids near my place like talking and spending time with me because I tell them stories all the time. Most of the time I will start telling them a story and the story would go on and on and I would not have any idea on how to end the stories.Last month I caught my 7 year old neighbour-"Ryan", drinking a can of beer. He was shell-shocked and he pleaded with me not to tell about it to his mom. But I wanted to take my revenge on him for what he told about me to his beautiful mother [link]. But finally I assured him that I would not complain about him to his mom when he agreed to give me ten bucks everyday- for one whole month
The very next day, He gave me ten bucks and I asked him," Ryan! So tell me... What does your dad do when he gets drunk?"
"My dad sleeps off when he gets drunk. So I gulp the rest of the beer bottle and even give some beer to my dog and it is really funny to see my dog when it is stoned"
"Does your mom know about it?"
"No! She gets sloshed before Dad"
The stories that he told gave me a chilling effect on my tail bone. He also told me that he had his first beer when he was just 12 months old. In the picture below, Ryan is all excited about his first beer. If you want to know about my first experience with alcohol, read this post [link]

The next day Ryan again gave me another ten bucks and he also showed me some other pictures from his photo album. Apparently Ryan had his first girlfriend when he was three years old. In the below picture, Ryan is seen drinking with his ex-girlfriend. Ryan is now 7 and already he has had eleven girlfriends in his life. I am a 27 year old single guy and Ryan really gave me a big complex when he explained about his love escapades.

Ryan's dad has got the biggest Beer belly, I have ever seen. He can do many tricks with his belly. He is seen performing one of his tricks in the below picture. Ryan's dad is having this big belly for the past ten years. If you think that a woman has to suffer a lot by carrying a child in her womb for 10 months, you gotta see Ryan's dad. When ever I see him, I feel like asking him lot of questions about his beer belly. But I never do that.( Ryan's dad is a bouncer and he can punch real hard)

Ryan gave me another ten bucks today and finally the one month pact got over and now he can breathe in peace. I still can break the deal and complain about him to his mom. But i am not doing it because Ryan has promised to introduce me to the cute girl who has moved in to the opposite flat. Ryan told me that her name is Divya and that she loves humorous people. Should I make the move?

Note: For the past one month, ten bucks started disappearing from my wallet everyday. Is something wrong with my wallet?

Additional Note: Just as I was typing this line, I looked out the window and saw Divya. She smiled at me . Is this a new beginning in Chronicwriter's life?

-Chronicwriter

80 comments:

  1. enna solla...hiccup... beer boy...beer belly...hiccup...good luck with Divya..

    don't get the wrong idea... this hiccup is coz of laughing my heart out :)

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  2. M the second !!!

    So ur next post is about Divya nu sollu !!!

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  3. "The stories that he told gave me a chilling effect on my tail bone." -- tail bone ?? Muhahahahahahahahah !!

    new beginning ?? ooo !!! ooooo !!! ooooo!!! ;) ;) ..

    i get excited every time i see someone with a belly bigger thank my dad's. muhahahah ! thanks for this pic ! :P

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  4. Divya huh? Plan to start your own beer belly soon? :D

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  5. Shabba!! after a week am reading your blog and am laughing with tears in my eyes :D lol!! Ryan paavam :( unga kita poi paisa kuduthu emandhirukan... and Divya is paavam :( anyway ALL THE BESHT for your new start... ava ena nenachu smile panalo neenga adha thapa eduthukitrkinga...mmm anyway all the best to divya too...

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  6. Mr Chronicwriter, this might be the beginning of a new life or end of a peaceful humorous life. Anyways pls accept both my best wishes and Condolences.

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  7. **Had a chilling effect on my tail bone.
    LOL! I thought all you had was a funny bone :-S =D
    And oh my..that belly! He could fill three drums inside. Enormous!
    And Divya..oooooooo!

    PLUS. Ryan makes me feel inferior as well =(


    Btw..for your reply to my post-->
    *serious face* I like cult, though m not into it religiously!

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  8. Poor divz..poor poor divz...can I have her mail id?? need to send some important info for her future safety u see...

    Aioo where o where do you get all these pics to support ur wacky tales???

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  9. Did you by any chance notice that it was the same ten rupee note that was being given to you day after day? :P Ryan's just way too smart for you dude. :P

    And go for Divya, before he does!! :P

    Btw that is the biggest beer belly I have ever seen. :D

    Cheers

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  10. what about the love of your life..Renu. You cant betray her memories of her, for some new gal.

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  11. Evolo periiiiiiyaa thoppai!

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  12. im so glad for u !
    good luck lady killer senior ;-)

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  13. does Divya exist? or is she also a figment of ur humorous imagination
    :)

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  14. She smiled at you, looks like its you time now. Get going. pal. BTW, nice pictures, where do you manage such apt photos. Very interesting post.:))

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  15. losing money is the vital sign of being careless take care next time it will be your new GF.. BTW those gals who smiled at me never talked to me. hope you get to win divya's heart.

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  17. moment i read the additional comment, i thot of this other post of urs..

    http://www.chronicwriter.com/2008/11/269-how-to-fall-in-love.html

    hehe.. u r soooo living up to it!

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  18. Umm..wat do u know...Divya might already be his Ex...Better consult him before u take the plunge ;)

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  19. mudiyala da saami...

    chriz naal poora enna pannuveenga? gmail la image search thaana??? :D

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  20. Oh such a cute story...m sure it must have made lots of people smile :) thanks for sharing

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  21. ryan is a real man :P
    hahhaah...yup this is a new beginning for u :P...
    bcoz ..next post will b of divya :P

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  22. cheers to a new beginning.. :P Hmm.. Ryan is the man!! :)

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  23. LOL all that intro for this??
    wait ur turn carefully... then make ur move! good luck with her!

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  24. That belly man is so funny! good luck with divya.

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  25. hehehhehe... I am definitely smilin mr.. all the best wid the divya babe!!!

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  26. 7-11 wat a terriffc stats . . . .Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beer Holder- Anonymous Drunkard.I thought it was you.And what about the Rs 300 that you have now !!!!! Cheers !!!!

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  27. good luck with Divya buddy.. :)

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  28. thalaivaaa, good luck with ur neighbour.

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  29. :P...ur single and jealous of ryan :P lol...:P...well ryan's dad's tummy was :P....good one buddy :)..

    urs..hemu..

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  30. besht of luck for the new beginning Chriz :D:D:D!

    10 dollar vaangittu 10 dollar kottayum vitteengala? Yenna koduma idhu!?:P:P.

    Was having a pretty glum week. This has cheered me up no end. Will email you sometime. Cheers!

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  31. and you remind me of my appa - in terms of story telling (and knowing how to finish a story :P:P). He used to mix reality and fiction he had read with figments of his own imagination delighting my sister and me with awesome stories. He is the best raconteur I have known; now you :-)

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  32. i so hope that this is a new beginning[for the umpteenth time] for you :) if she is looking for a humorous guy.. YOU are HER MAN :) :P

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  33. LOL at the beer boy

    you go after her bro... all the way :)

    take care... cheers...

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  34. hicc...LOL!..hicc.

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  35. Actually Divya hai? Ya aise hi you are pulling our legs?!! Make your move da! Poi flirt panna! :D

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  36. hahahahaha.....i loved that beer belly....:dno wonder that man can do tricks with it:D
    so is the next post going to be about Divya and ur budding love story?
    :D:D:D:D:D:D
    keep us posted!

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  37. hey Ryan is gettin bak his 300 thro divz..

    emandhu poitiye chriz...

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  38. Dude, I'da said I loved the post but the last pic friggin grossed me out !!!!


    Damn ! And I just got in for work.

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  39. oh ya! give me Ryan's phn no! i can blackmail him too na.. :P
    coz u let out his secret to us.. :D

    cheers

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  40. U'd sweep Divya off her feet!
    I'm confident :P

    Your sense of humour is just BRILLIANT :)

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  41. LOL once again
    I am sure divya will be lucky to have you. go for her!

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  42. ohkay.. this Ryan of urs is a smart kid :D

    and i was wondering.. his capacity is this when he is 7 yrs old, how much would it rise to when he is 27?? :P

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  43. girls love guys who r good wid kids...so shez gonna love ya...

    btw how ol is divya??

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  44. lol!!learn smthng frm ryan..11 gf's at the age of 7..:P

    spend sme mre time wid ryan n u'll learn how to have divya in ur life..:P

    good day :)

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  45. Came throught your blog while random surfing for time pass...

    cool post.... The beer boy !!!
    Hilarious !!

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  46. good luck with divya mann ...And waoh ..huge belly that :P

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  47. wow..well give her ur blog link thru ryan,Ladki patt jayegi :P

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  48. i think eminem sang that 'belly dancer' son looking at ryan's dad eh?

    awesome post as ever man, and good luck with divya, agar nahi pati toh num mujhe de dena, akhir dost kis din kaam ayega aye? ;)


    take care and keep writing......

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  49. hahahahahaha!!


    chiz! divya has no brother n she really wants an lder brother..
    she called me up after moving to her new apartment that some guy smiled at her ...it was so reassuring..n so brotherly a smile that this rakhi she is planning to make him her brother..
    was that you?

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  50. sorry forgot to congratulate you..
    this is surely a new beginning chrizy boy!

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  51. I read this yesterday, and did not have time to comment. but My Gosh Chriz you could not go and introduce yourself to Divya yourself? Poor ryan had to pay 10 bucks then attempt to hook you up also! hahaha


    Again Chriz to the rescue when it comes to funnies that I need!

    Ne

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  52. lol :D

    Make a move n blog about it :)

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  53. ayyooo...antha beer belly paathathum naan beer adicha mathiri aayitteen :(

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  54. You can't just tell these kids stories, u have to reform them... upgrade the kid to something higher than beer..

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  55. Interesting post Mate,

    Do give updates about Divya, hope you get lucky :)

    BTW, why don't get the kid into Alcoholics Anonymous?

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  56. the beach pic is so damn cute!!

    n the fun has only just begun...i'm waiting...

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  57. Bwahahah!!!!

    Can't wait for the Divya post :D

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  58. beery beery cheeky Chriz!

    Keshi.

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  59. imaginary ryan... imaginary divya...

    man, i wish i was ryan... he has become the youngest role model ever... :D

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  60. I am exactly opposite from u :)
    I snatch there chocolates and make them cry :)
    and yes i guess it's a new begining for u :P

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  61. Taking money from kids... Tch! Tch!

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  62. man

    kid these days are such smart.....

    beer..i tasted my fst when I was in graduation...
    but lappy topyy shame shame ..heheheh

    u have some awesome experiences rolled up in ur sleeves :P

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  63. Mahn first time @ ur blog, n ur posts touched my funny bone.. Soo rib-ticklin..Went thro couple of ur post, they r like LMAO !!

    Keep it up.. So tat i can read n relax in office :p

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  64. This was hilarious..as usual :)

    Saima

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  65. Your posts always make me smile!!

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  66. Ryan beat me in this beer race :( I thought my 1 yr experience of beer drinking at 5.5 years of age would hold me in good stead :(


    Divya?? Is it the same 4 yr old girl that I saw the day I passed by your home? The one who was blasting your ear drums off with continuous wailing as you had taken her toffee...Am I not right? :D ;)


    PS: Ryan is a millionaire :) You just asked for Rs. 10/day. Very poor :P

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  67. Maybe after yur next post abt Divya..Renu will check it out and start feelin "J" , he he! parthu parthu...aapu vechurivangu mappu

    Hary

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  68. Beer and boys - hmmmmmmmm !! :)) Hope you set the kids right ... and your wallet is a magic one, the money flows in and out at the same time :))

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  69. What you waiting for bro...Ren(u) to Divya! She may be the 'light' of your life! keep us posted! :D
    7/11 - Ryan's quite a terror man!! :D

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  70. I am gettin all jealous abt Ryan.
    No more Ryan stories please i may jump off my roof :(

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  72. Enna da New Begining ... Ryan ku 13 Gf ehehehheheheheh

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  73. Adangu dai ennanga da katha edhu. Bothaila eluthi irukkaaanganu mattum theriyudhu

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