Apr 29, 2009

323. Lessons that my parents learnt

Note: Bringing up a baby is an experience in itself. Bringing up a nutty baby gives wisdom

The following points are important lessons that my parents learnt in the first five years of my life when they tried to bring me up.

1) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a house four inches deep.
2) If you pour kerosene on the leather cushion cover and light them with match sticks, they can ignite.
3) A 3-year-old's voice is louder than the priest's voice in a church.
4) Keep paintbrushes out of reach of children, if you want your television to remain in its original color.
5) You should not throw tennis balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a tennis ball a long way
6) Always have wooden windows. Never ever have glass windows.
7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "hehehe", it's already too late.
8) Never ever insert a screw driver inside the electric-power socket.
9) A magnifying glass can burn your feet even on an overcast day. So parents! stay away from your children when they have a magnifying glass in their hands
10) When your three year old is playing with a small bean and if the bean can't be seen, chances are that the bean will be inside the nose or the ears of the child.
11) Chewing gums can also be swallowed.
12) If your child is less than two years of age and if he is not wearing his nappy, do mind your steps. If you don't,you might stamp on something sticky.

The above picture was taken when Chronicwriter was ten months old (February 1983). He is not wearing an underwear in the picture. That was also the first time Chronicwriter graduated from crawling to walking.

-Chronicwriter

64 comments:

  1. ha ha... the usual pranks :P

    kewl pic dude...

    cheers...

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  2. cute pic re!

    ROFL on 7th vala point :-D

    typical chrizzy post!

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  3. cute pic re!

    ROFL on 7th vala point :-D

    typical chrizzy post!

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  4. What a SUPER CUTE pic Chriz awwwwwww!


    **7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "hehehe", it's already too late.

    LOL hahaha! I like this one the best!


    Keshi.

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  5. Chris .

    Good post again .

    But here is a suggestion from me . I feel that you are narrowing down your ideas to kids and family mostly. I would like to see you write more about things happening around the world .

    Cheers

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  6. @phenomenon

    I would seriously love to write about the big world. but seriously speaking, i dont know much to write about the big wide world..

    this blog mainly revolves around renu, jeremy, jolena, my family, red underwear and my memories..

    the world news come on a occasional basis and to spruce it up with humor involves spending some time on a post and if i am not lazy like i am right now, i'd sure come up with more posts on that

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  7. just the dose of humour I needed before I headed out for a disgusting exam.
    lemme add a lil more:
    1. One can walk on walls
    2. Locking the self in and then screaming the heads off of the entire family can be a mere pastime, which often ends with angry glares and a gleeful laughter.
    3. The kitchen can be a spot for treasure hunt.
    4. Windows can be great hiding spots, as is the room between the four legs of a standard chair.

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  8. Aww... the chronicwriter looks cute in that pic ;)

    And well those lessons are for every parent to learn when they have naughty naughty kids around :P

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  9. awww....that was a cute post and cute pic :)

    i think these things are the most common one which kids do...which sometimes pisses off parents and sometimes makes them smile for their innocence.... :p

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  10. Chronicwriter without the Red? Whatae shame:P

    Lol over 2. This is new:-)

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  11. Cute post :)
    'chewing gum can be swallowed'
    reminds me of my childhood. I was bold enf to swallow it but after that I got panicked after what my parents said about swallowing a chewing gum

    Cute Picture. So you saw all your childhood fotos of you and your sis is it???

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  12. "You should not throw tennis balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a tennis ball a long way" - besh besh idhu romba nannairukki! lol

    "When your three year old is playing with a small bean and if the bean can't be seen" - what a rhyme scheme! lol

    I do not believe one little bit that you are lazy. I also believe you are a very intelligent man who uses wit as a tool. Continue to make others laugh but yes when you do have time come up with other posts - if you wish that!

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  13. This is what my son has taught me:

    Anything missing from the house can be found outside our balcony on the ground.

    Living in a 4th floor apartment is scary! ;-)

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  14. @srini

    i get the point.. the idea behind this blog is not to show my mettle and to prove to people that i know more about the big wide world.. the simple idea is to make people smile.. thats why i write in a very niche stream " humor"...

    can write humorous stuff about things that make news now around the Globe. But that i can make a decision based on who i am targeting..

    marketing is a sea and i have just started swimming in it bro..

    long way to go

    chriz

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  15. Memories came back rushing.. That's loads of mischief..
    Cute pic.. :)

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  16. Shud report this site as ABUSE - having nudity...

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  17. ROFL... Chriz, your posts are always filled with fun & laughter... Keep them coming :)

    B/w cute picture :)

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  18. :P hahah ...nice pic bro :)..

    urs..hemu..

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  19. loved #10 and 12 most :):) and guess sree and I have got a tough competitor who writes equally chirpy posts ::):) Loved it matey :)
    cheers !!:)
    and ahem.. dude you are good lookin.. err.. was talkin abt the pic in this post :P

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  20. Crizzy, u naughty naughty kiddo..

    u really burnt ur parents feet?? :P
    and what did u flush down?? ;)

    u have been a real chronic for ur folks :D
    P.S. I have been no less either :D

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  21. Chriz,

    That comment was intended for a predecessor. lol. Just to say that all that appears in ths blog is not the end of your world.

    I do not know too much about you but I know something;)

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  22. and yes it is just by way of information, not offence!

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  23. This kinda is sooo sweet.. i pity ur parents.. but then you guys always wud have stories to tell when out with friends :D :D

    I hope your kids are as interesting as you :D

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  24. haha..
    loved the 4th one..
    cute pic ;-)

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  25. dude, you were cute when you were a baby. i am really sorry you ended up this way :)

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  26. 7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "hehehe", it's already too late.

    lol...parents watch out who are planning or dreaming for a nutty baby.. :D

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  27. Good One da Day by Day Chronic Writer oru Character ahh nee Uruvakitu Iruka good effort da !!! Now by the readers will have an idea about u for sure kudos

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  28. do i say cute pic or hot pic..? :P
    of course I understand u didn't have that red underwear then :D

    Well u must ve kept your parents on your toes all the time as a child..

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  29. ok.. i think my parents didnt experience these kind of thngs with me!! I THINK SO!! :P

    and u wer such a nut in ur family.. creating so many probs!!!

    u never used to wear ur undie even in those days! ufff... always the same.. :D

    cheers
    swetha

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  30. What a chweeeeeet pic!!! Your parents had a tough time, I can see!!! Just you wait, your kids will drive you ten times crazier!!! :P

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  31. with ref to the pic: WTF??! Where's the trademark Red Chaddi?

    1)"Look!up in the sky!Is it a bird? Is it a plane?"

    "No! Its chronicwriter-man!"

    Bad Guys: " Oh no! We're doomed! Either he's going to crack a joke or we'll get a sneak peek of his Red Underwear.
    eitherway we die Laughing!
    Ruuun!"

    2) Mum:"Son, if you are not a good boy then Chronicwriter-man will come at night when you sleep!"

    Son:"Mummmeeeeee...Red Chaaddeee...i'm sorry!"

    3) How does Chronicwriter-man battle recession?

    He uses only one pair of his trademark red undies.
    To save on washing costs he wears it over his pants.
    Superman has filed a copyright violation suit.

    Watch this space for more

    Dude! No offence! All for a few laughs!
    Keep the posts coming! You rock! \m/

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  32. I would love apost from you when you are a dad of one nutty 3 year old kid !!! :D You were really cute when you were a kid !!

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  33. No one would have ever thought that cute sweet little boy got this much 'potential'.

    I'm sure my parents would have 'worshiped' me after reading this post.

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  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  35. Awww...I love kids like that!

    I love reading all your posts. They are thoroughly funny, humorous and nutty :D

    Never stop writing!

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  36. hey...u were born a girl ???

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  37. thanks for that list!!
    very useful

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  38. Erm... this was the first five years.... what about the rest? :P

    For a change, a link free post :P and some highly useful lessons... LOL on 7th point...

    They obviously tried real hard to bring you up, to no avail! :P

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  39. Good post as always! Must keep these lessons for the near future.

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  40. torture pannadha!

    was ur first underwear red in colour

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  41. heheheh...toilet flush...ding ding.. :P:P..
    btw cute pic...

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  42. LoL at 7..!!!

    So the said *nuttiness* does go back a long way... ;D

    Peace.

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  43. OMG Crizz..
    U are turning ur blog into an evening newspaper!!
    A post a day is just mind-boggling! keep it coming

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  44. lol...:D

    U actually did 5th??? U must have been a pain!!!

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  45. Is tht really u??

    Chewing gums can also be swallowed..My parents learnt it the hard way :P

    And yeah I did smile and I thoroughly read ur post :P

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  46. LOL sweet memories remind my childhood....BTW nice pic......

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  47. thts such a sweet pic.... :) nice post.

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  48. "5) You should not throw tennis balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a tennis ball a long way"

    -- MY PARENTS LEARNT THE SAME LESSON! HAH !!


    oops ! caps on by mistake.

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  49. lol!!i always have a gala time on ur post yaar...just keep writing the same way...tat pic jus choo chweet..

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  50. didnt ur parents learn that cockroaches were edible too? (my cousin did that.. not me!)

    what goes around comes around they say... wait till its ur turn to be a parrent! ahahahaha

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  51. seems u were one nutty baby all ryt:D

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  52. Hey i read the comment which u wrote to srini .. its good that u accept the fact the blog is a fun spot and masala mix :) keep going .. i am not sure wheather u could realize this slowley ur developing a character called chronicwriter who has some peculiar character good good

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  53. Always smile, after your post. Good one.

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  54. Chriz... Is this the experience from your parent or u being the parent for a phillipine girl?? :O

    The baby luks like u!!!

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  55. LOL @ 10, 12. :D :D

    Hehe..naice post.

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  56. I so loved this post! Love the 7th one and the 12th one too :P

    ROFLMAO!

    Cheers

    *PEACE*

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  57. Lol..awesome post...wanted to comment on ur love names wala post too...but was too late i guess...koi nahi..next time hi sahi!! :)

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  58. LOL good good. now waiting for the lessons that YOU learn as a parent... they can't be all that different from those days lol

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