Apr 25, 2009

320. The animal scientist

I received seven e-mail applications for the post of my female-room mate. 4 were males. So i rejected them without much ado. Out of the remaining 3 girls, two were my blog-mates and one was an anonymous mailer. The two blog-mates bashed me up with non-parliamentary words. The anonymous mailer was very mushy and her/his mail was almost like reading a M&B novel. I also received a proposal from wolf-anusha. Her mail was found in the junk list. I didn't bother to read it. That is how i throw attitude.

In early January of the year 1995,when I was in class-8, my biology teacher said that AIDS was a sexually transmitted disease. I counter attacked her with my statement saying," Ma'm; Birth of a baby is the only sexually transmitted disease". I was sent out of class. That was the exact moment i decided that i would become a scientist. I started working towards my goal. Immediately, i called up my friends Ian Wilmut, Keith Campbell and gave them a ten minute pep talk. The very next year, they came up with Dolly (The first cloned female sheep). The world never knew the actual brain behind cloning. Now for the first time ever, this secret is revealed in my blog.

If you closely follow my blog, you would be knowing that i am a world famous scientist. I have described my findings in the sidebar. If you haven't noticed it, i am posting it again in this post so that you don't have to search for the message in the sidebar
Chronicwriter used to conduct secret nuclear experiments for an undisclosed Western Antartican province and was on the verge of Vasectomizing a female python when he decided to focus on this blog instead.
I started discovering many things about animals. I would soon publish all my discoveries in book form. Please buy the book when i publish it. One such experiment made me to study about cows. I went to my Uncle McDonald's farm and asked his permission whether i could conduct some experiments on his cows. He was more than happy. My experiment was to find out, if a cow could yield more than 20 litres of milk.

So i took a bucket and went to the farm and started milking a cow. After one hour of milking, there wasn't much milk in the bucket. I was disappointed and came back home with a dejected heart. Later when i talked with Uncle McDonald, i came to know that the only animal in that farm was actually a bull and not a cow. No wonder the bull smiled at me, while i was milking it.
My discoveries in the field of animal science was soon recognised by scientists around the Globe. Animal scientists even tried mating lions and tigers and came with a new animal "Liger". I even advised them to go forth in their scientific research to produce "Girze". They have tried all possible ways but all their efforts have failed so far.They sent me a picture of their scientific efforts [link]
Will the world ever see Girze?
-Chronicwriter

50 comments:

  1. i am the first one! :D feels like an acheivement.. :P

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  2. hey the scientist YOU .. kindly stay away from the world of sciened and your experiments.. if this keeps going on we will have weird animals all around us.. and you were the brain behind dolly.. :O oh my god! hhahaaaha

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  3. never knew there was a scientist in you.. ;)

    well... waiting for new ground breaking discoveries n inventions..

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  4. The world is blessed to have a scientist like you..seriously!
    And i was just wondering all the fun the bull had.. rofl..

    Give your brains some rest chriz.. :D

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  5. LMAO! Dude, I *seriously* hope all that wasn't a result of inebriety. Especially your *acts* at Uncle McDonald;s farm! ;)

    Peace. Have a lovely weekend.

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  6. hahaha..... lol... :)

    nice one man.... pity bad the bull did not kick your face in... :P

    hey i have written a post with a bit of humor in it....

    try it out and tell me what you think.....

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  7. U 'milked' the bull and there wasn't enough 'milk' after an 'hour' :O

    I just can't stop laughing!!!

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  8. CHris Unnoda settai vara vara romba jasthiya irukuthu da unmaiya solreen .... super da .... u r becoimng another dushwanth sigh :)

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  9. Ah!! Had I known you were the REAL brain behind Dolly, I would've incorporated that in my answer on Dolly last week and earned some brownie points!!!

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  10. OMG!! Will the world ever credit you for this?? You deserve the accolades mate!!

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  11. hahaha...
    so you ^milked^ a bull .. :D..
    duckin' awesome chriz...haha :D

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  12. Chriz concentrate... this blog is a very important scientific achievement... leave everything aside... (OMG push everything away from his eyesight) :P :P

    Again awesome post... arnd pics... :D

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  13. u milked a bull :D

    just imagining what if you have a clone :)

    Chronic writer Vs Clonic writer

    you guys will have to share a soul...more than that, Clonic writer might ask "Gimme RED"...what will you do then?

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  14. Brain behind Dolly??? Wah re wah..
    Liger, girze???? anyother inventions????

    If your book of discoveries is gonna get published, let me be the first person to book that book :)

    thoroughly enjoyed the post :D :D

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  15. hilarious :D... the bull..wld have blessed u for the free job :D :D :D

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  16. oye ! but who's the lucky girl??

    bulll !!!!!! ROTFLMaO !!!

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  17. now, i know a scientist too!!
    wow :-D

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  18. O man... Chriss boy... U don leave bulls also???? I thot u had restrictions!!! Ha ha... Nice blog man... N who's d finalist in d room mate search???

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  19. Giraffe and Zebra should give a Gibra, not Girze. (Lion and Tiger gives Liger, not Litig)

    And the problem is, when they will make a documentary of how they made a Gibra, people will switch it off thinking the scientists are a bunch of nuts who think they made a zebra (note resemblance to Gibra), which existed anyways.

    So even if the the Gibra comes into this world, the answer to your question

    //Will the world ever see Girze?

    is NO!

    Because they will switch off the documentary before the Gibra is shown :P

    So even if the Gibra comes

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  20. Gawd!! CHRIZ!!

    y r u so damn funny??

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  21. milked a bull!! hah!! :Dwhat did you do with the 'not so much' milk?? i sure hope the hard work hadn't made you thirsty...

    forget a Girze, i would be astonished if the world ever saw a ChrizWo!!


    :P

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  22. did u actually say that real smart statement...abt children and STDs...?
    WOW...
    :)

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  23. prason, i guess u better type when u r drunk... u r goin WILD without the influence of alhocol ( spelling is rite?? i m drunk)!!!

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  24. The world has yet to see the 'real' Chriz
    have you ever 'innovated' when sober? :)

    @8th standard Chriz: Hi-5!!

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  25. no wonder they weren't.. You cant mate with a neck.

    What esteemed set of scientist- friends you have! ;)

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  26. u milked the bull :P...damn...i was wondering how crazy scientists can be :P..

    urs..hemu..

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  27. well bro... you really put the MAD into the term Mad Scientist :P

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  28. hmm old joke abt milking the bull, but nicely used in the post :)

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  29. Yes you are so on the target Chrizzy! Life is the only sexually transmitted disease that is 100% fatal ;)

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  30. U ? scientist? hmmm Smart. Kya brain hai yaar. Ohh!!!

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  31. Are YOU the scientist???

    How do you manage to come up with this stuff ??? :D

    I was laughing all the way reading it :D

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  32. Chriz,

    "Ma'm; Birth of a baby is the only sexually transmitted disease" - Chancey illa: neenga unga humour book-a mudichodane "How to follow the footsteps of a Chronicwriter?" nu sollittu innoru book ezhudhanum wogay va?;)

    Need I say that I thoroughly enjoyed the post?! I DID!

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  33. @everyone
    more scientific discoveries to come

    @muthu
    yes bro will check ur post

    @stupid
    your way of coining Gibra is a very traditional one.. there is not any creativity involved in it, and it follows the same liger style.. so i disqualify you

    @rest of the gang
    thanks for the co-operation people

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  34. What the heck anyays. I never applied :P.

    Not to mention your own 'traditional' way of milking bulls.

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  35. @stupid
    this comment of yours makes me to think... you havent applied.. but still i am including your option in the wild card round.. all the very best..

    traditional way? that was one hour of creative milking bro

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  36. LOL... the bull smiled at you...

    btw, did you try drinking the milk. ? that could explain your scientific intelligence.

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  37. Wokay. How abt cloning you? Good option. Pls aid me with this. I will start a Chrony Clone Relief fund series and become one millionpathy.

    And where is Wolf's picture?:P

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  38. u milked a bull!!!!
    hats off to u!!by now i know...u can do just about anything!!!:D:D:D:D
    wassay mr scientist!!:D

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  39. God u made me laugh so much...such a gr8 discovere u are..u really deserve an award for milking a bull buddy...bravo!!
    it was gr8 fun reading ur post yaar..i missed out ur last post bt saw the pic n the title n could sense wat it cud be :)
    keep going..
    good day!!

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  40. Animal scientist...what sort of foolish profession are you in...be an animal blogger....it'll be fun..lol

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  41. Boy am I glad that you are only into animal experiments....hope you are not designated next for some human ones...like trying to make something with chriz and hmm...any poor gal...shuddering thinking of the outcome from that

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  42. ha ha ha ha... machi missed out an important thing...THE DINOANU - u know what I mean...

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  43. Omg!!wht a blunder...we never knew tht the cloning of dolly was ur brain chld. Good job buddy!! Thanks for letting us know abt ur precious discoveries. Wht wud we do without u!? :P ;)

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  44. @viji
    in such a case, i'd share the underwear with my clone.. he can insert his legs in one hole and ill insert mine in the other hole..

    @little lost girl..
    i dint try drinking the milk.. i have saved it for you

    @lance
    yes lucky dinosaurs. they died before i was born :P

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  45. Dont disclose our further cross breeds because there are plagiarism in blogs too and we might miss our NOBEL prize!!

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