Jan 11, 2009

276. Loo Discoveries

The toilet is one place where most of us discover lot of stuff. The brain works in a supersonic speed in the Loo. The visual delight that the eyes come across help us to unearth the deeply covered truths. Most of my posts were written based on brainwaves that hit the shore when I was in the Loo. This morning When I went to the Loo to read the newspaper, my brain suddenly started working. Answers to many questions flowed through my thoughts. Here I present to all you people, my Loo discoveries.

Loo Discovery 1: The ten plagues on Egypt

In the Bible, The Lord tested the heart of the Egyptian King by sending ten different plagues on the Egyptians.I have read this passage in the Bible and I have even heard the story from different men of God.I always wondered about God's wonderful plan. Why did he test the Egyptians? Why not the Americans or the Europeans or the Asians?

This morning I was in the Loo and my troublesome tummy reminded me that I had a weird Chinese food the night before. That helped me solve the question about the plague. If only God had sent the plague on the Chinese, the Chinese would have rejoiced instead of being troubled. Just Imagine God sending a legion of Locusts/Grasshoppers/ Frogs on the Chinese. They would have just eaten them all.





Loo Discovery 2 : Barking Dogs do not bite

We would have come across this phrase "Barking Dogs do not bite". I have never tried to find the validity of this statement. But call it the seventh sign from down under, I found the answer in the LOO again. Dogs are not multi-taskers. They have only one mouth. When they Bark, they could not bite and vice-versa. It has taken all these years for me to understand this simple logic.

These two discoveries of mine has made me to use the Loo more often and come up with more and more discoveries... I got two e-mail forwards from a friend of mine and I did not think twice to add it in my blog.

1.The Vampire Bat

A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a blood on his mouth.
They ask him where he got the blood.
He asks them, - "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well I didn't!"


2.The Annoying Boy


A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!

kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

-Chronicwriter

94 comments:

  1. Good good, I have now discovered that all fluids flow better in the loo... and before your mind starts roaming about, I'm talking about the ones that activate the brain...

    Good one, and 'nice' kid there...

    I loved the first pic...

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  2. @ Chriz - Now i can be more confident going near a barking dog.Hope it doesn't stop barking when i go near :):)

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  3. Wow...wat a discovery...n its very true :-)guess i should spend more time in the loo then than sitting n eating for an hr in the dining room..but i get lotsa ideas looking at the presentation of my lecturer during class..hehehehe

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  4. hehehhehee...what revelations!!! keep it up..keep blogging in the loo itself...btw, hope that first pic isnt ur plan in the making??

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  5. Damn, you are hilarious! :D

    Heh heh heh, no wonder the loo is where one can let rip his imagination!

    Peace.

    ---
    *ahem* Did I just read you correct? Romantiqaaaaa?

    :D

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  6. lol. too imaginative. Loo never helped me cos i am used to reading newspaper.

    BTW what made you think all those question in the loo only?

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  7. hahaha...some shitty discoveries bro :P

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  8. haha...lol...
    dat was a good one;)

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  9. how do u manage to remeber te things u think of in the loo..??
    i ALWAYS forget everything the moment i get out. And i usually get brilliant ideas there. but thats the only part that i remember - that they were brilliant.
    its like a different dreamlike world.
    Siiigghhh...

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  10. No doubt...There's a logic to that too!!
    "Lightening comes first followed by the Thunder" - here, "We get enlightened first, followed by what happens down under"! :D

    Would have loved to see the bus conductor's expressions!! ;)

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  11. aha...marubadiyum aarambitchutiya nee............

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  12. You made me smile again :)...Which you always do...every time I read your posts....I dint get your last joke really...Can you explain??

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  13. ok I think I got it...If I got it right...If not I dint...:)

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  14. LMAO... Especially the last joke... Thought of singing lullaby for your blog.. but aftr this post, ve to sing a loolooby... :P

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  15. hilarious...

    my imagination runs riot while on the pot and i have got lot many ideas for stories in past... he he he..

    and know wat there is this arts college @ blore which has commodes as seats @ d cafe.. they call it the thinking seat claiming that they get awesome ideas while on d pot... and not to mention the hotel in china in the same theme...

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  16. ahem ahem!!

    rather nice post to read! :D

    and hey i love the song more!! its amazing!!

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  17. Who said barking dogs do not bite?? Personal experience Chriz ji. *Heck,Heck*. And i really understood the string theory with the aid of loo curriculum. Perhaps, one shld recommend the ministry of Education to spice up this curriculum and educate population.You be the minister of that dept, considering your seniority:D

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  18. @akansha
    yeaa all fluids flow well in the loo and gravity plays a major role..

    unless and untill there is a mental constipation involved

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  19. @josh
    also make it sure that its on a leash

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  20. @reena

    your professor's lecture has designs too?

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  21. @vinnie

    if i could blog in the loo.. you have given me ideas.. will soon do that

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  22. @kartz

    thankss bro in arms.. yeaa you read it correct

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  23. @santosh
    all those equations summed up cos the pressure gets puffed out in the loo and the brain has enuff space to move around and think freely

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  24. @abhishek

    :) yes they are.. rather call them inventions

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  25. @neeths

    thanks girl.. keep coming... happy for the filter clearing at the right time

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  26. @HP
    dream world? how can you dream in the loo.. it would be stinky dreams

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  27. @sree
    the bus conductors face would have been like our expressions when we try harder in the loo

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  28. @karthik

    haha..ippadidhaaney naan polappa oaaturein.. nirutha mudiyummaa

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  29. @priti

    last joke... bus driver/.. and thanks men

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  30. @karthik

    i am waiting for your loolooby

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  31. @rat

    wow .. i would have loved to be in sucha college..
    thanks for blogrolling rats

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  32. @phoenix

    yes i love the song too..

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  33. Chriz Crazy Man .... Maintain the Moment ..... This Kind of Posts are ur lable So stick To it U rock ....

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  34. @ archana ji

    i would so love to have such a party.. we will FLOAT a national party Peoples Loo movement..

    you be the spokesperson

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  35. @shivram

    yea sticking on da... talking about sticky posts , i am again reminded abt the loo now

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  36. I second u..completely..:P
    Even I c myself simmering with creative ideas in the loo..hehe

    and lovedddddd the annoying kid :D

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  37. @swats

    yeaa. annoying kid rocks

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  38. this comment ins nt related to post.
    i havent read it yet. will do it in cometime.. m still glued to ur shirt !!!! rolling eyes. whr is the sallu bhai's sytle???

    hey and plsss help me to put a audio song as u have thru i guess ezee smth..

    i wil tell u wht song i want but before tht pls add me in ur messenger list
    nidhijustme@gmail.com

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  39. tht frog eatign pic is yuck..... chi. chi .. subha subha kya dikhadiya tune.. chiiii

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  40. @nidhi

    will sure remove my shirt and do a la salman ... am planning to take some pictures and add it in this page.. just a little bit up of toning up to do for that 6 packs... hope ill get the remaining 5 packs soon...

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  41. @nidhi

    subha subha? at 2 pm? btw nice name who is subha?

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  42. what a discovery.. what a discovery.. this yrs nobel prize for loo discoveries goes to u.. applause!

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  43. @chriz: reading your comment i smiled again.. :)

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  44. Hahahah

    You made me laugh so much :D

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  45. lol. spend more time in the loo then, since it jogs your brain into thinking about things :P
    honest, it'd give us more posts to read (yeah yeah, am a selfish bum :P)

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  46. @wolf

    hey pulese dont spoil nobel prize sanity.. we will spoil some other award..

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  47. @pink
    comment on the comment.. adhukudhaaney naanga muyarchi panroam.. nandri

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  48. @mehreen

    thanks for visiting my page.. do come again

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  49. @pseudo

    hope they come up with a new version poop top

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  50. Chriz is back!!!

    Loo theory is perfect, 10 on 10 for tht :D

    Lolz on the barking dogs!!

    n the bus driver joke literally made on roll on the floor :P

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  51. LOL!!! This Loo theory is simply perfecto right from the first word!
    Next visit to the Loo, you know what would run in the mind ;)

    Absolutely hilarious!


    (BTW,Here from Archana's blog)

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  52. lol!! HAHAHHAHAHA...yes loo time def is thinkin time but i hv shaaaart taaarm memory loss like aamir in ghajini so after i come out of d loo my mind goes......... :P

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  53. @trinaa

    next time just try to remembaa everything that happens in the loo... the thought process ofcourse

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  54. @richa

    haha...thank you for giving a 10 out of ten/... notch on

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  55. @muse

    yae.. i knew that.. welcome to my page men... do keep coming.. glad it was a nice comfortable stay in my page

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  56. the discovery about the dog, that was interesting... the peace of mind that you get in the loo, u cannot get anywhere, that's for sure

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  57. so true about the loo, like to go there with a sudoku or narrowed-words type of game i m processing faster the game :P
    nice jokes, already knew the first, but the second very funny, glad i don t know any bus driver dunno i would have react if i crack that joke!
    tc

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  58. Hello Chriz..!!!

    Now i think the Loo's are all proud for having got a space on your blog and i think your observation is true...lot many things happen in a Loo...!!!

    Damn these Chinese....they eat very thing...i just doubt..is there any living thing in the world that the Chinese dont eat...??

    and the barking dog...why didnt anyone think about it this way?? even i thought about this simple thing alot times....good one..!!!

    and the kid....ha ha ha..!!
    Perfect timing...and a brilliant answer...!!!

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  59. Hey.. Your post was a great piece of fun to read indeed.. Great discovery for you... In the loo.. I had heard of bathroom singing .. This is new..

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  60. epdi chriz idhu madri post ellam.. nly you can come up with such posts!! Tats where you stand out of the crowd!!!

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  61. Here after a long long time...... superrr post:))......where did you initialize the idea of starting a humorous blog? in the loo:)

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  62. Loo is the place. I bet Bush stayed constipated for 8 years and look what he did to the world just because he did not get enough loo time.

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  63. Good you are back to blogging. I like the new template and all. I will be back soon too. Hope you still remember me then.

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  64. @sarath

    a barking sound helped me to come up with the idea.. dont ask me where the barking sound came from

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  65. @cess
    sudoku.. i have never tried it inside the loo.. would try it soon..

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  66. @yamini

    haha thanks a bunch a two flowers extra

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  67. @riya

    the whole theory of bathroom started after the loo got attached with the bathroom.. singing in the shower and thinking in the pot has become a deadly combo now.. do keep coming

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  68. hahaha..thats amazing :P...u blog from loo :P...

    urs..hemu..

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  69. @thoorika

    haha .. i stand out of the crowd?

    but when it is loo time , i am always inside the loo.. i dont stand outside

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  70. @m.flowerr

    it just happened.. birth defect problem made me to start this one.. hey may you are here after a looong time.. stay!!!

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  71. @tazeen

    hey thanks for coming to my page all the way from paakistan.. i am so happy

    and talking abt bush, i have made lot of posts abt him.. even the whole world has mocked him.. but on the other hand he has his good side too.. i am gonna write abt it very soon in a post

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  72. @kiran
    haha
    welkum back you too.. i have you in my blogroll.. so when you come back ill know.. so come back soon

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  73. @hemu

    no i dont blog from the loo... :(
    havent started yet.. but would do soon!!

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  74. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Chriz!

    Keshi.

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  75. @keshi

    meeeeeooow keshi

    that was a cat call

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  76. thanks for the comment on the other side. you are most welcome to blogroll me :)

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  77. super discovery #1 Chrizzy :)

    If barking dogs don't bite, does that mean that the ones that don't bark always bite ;) :P

    Funny forwards there :D

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  78. @urv

    yes the ones that dont bark can bite..
    at the same time the ones that dont bark can be occupied in their own Dog-Bitch romance... or they myte be eating..

    hope the humans never get the love bites

    :)

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  79. signs from down under!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! man ur brain is certainly in d wrong part of ur body!!!!

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  80. @mayz

    do you think it is inside the head? than you are wrong...

    and if your statement wrong part is what i am also thinking of now, then you are absolutely right

    three cheers bro

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  81. You and ur loo discoveries rock..barking dogs dun bite eh??and das a loo disco?? :p

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  82. hahaha...

    I loved the 'Barking dogs seldom bite' part...hehe

    Although I dont mean it.. but then it wud be gr8 if u spend most of ur time in the loo... hahaha... we wud get more funny things to read then :P

    The lil boy is for sure one witty soul... nice mails...

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  83. @multi

    loo disco.. wow.. thats a new dance genre... would invent some new steps soon..

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  84. @harshita

    ill try my level best to eat , sleep and blog from the loo..


    man how could i eat inside a loo??? thats gross!!!

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  85. Shit absolute shit! :P
    I cn'tt stop laughing now :-S

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  86. rotfl ..i havnt read anything this mad for ages

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  87. lol!..shit!..loved the bus driver vala joke!lmao

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