275. Intelli-Gent(s) Conversation
Friday, January 09, 2009Remember those drunken encounters. When we saw stars inside our drawing hall. Birds flying under our bed sheets. A state of drunkenness can make wonders in the pre-hangover session for anyone. All the drunkards around the globe would agree with me on this.If you do not agree with me, all you gotta do is take a gulp of alcohol before reading any further.
This is an intoxicating post.Have you had a conversation with a drunk maniac? On most occasions the conversations would be real fun. But sometimes it may end really bad for the passive listener. I was a passive listener on one occasion. But I was made to actively participate in the conversation
It was the autumn of 2004. Do not ask silly questions like ,"Does India have Autumn season?". I read a Irwing Wallace book and found a particular chapter commencing with such a line and hence I too wanted to write that way. Coming back to that interesting and fateful night...
It was 9.30 pm. I was in Chennai. I was planning to return home from work and found that my bike had a flat tyre. I decided to take the public transport to go back home. Five minutes later, I boarded a bus.Very few travellers were inside the bus. I took a seat near the back of the bus next to a man in his mid thirties. It was a very rare sight to see such an empty bus in Chennai. The seats were occupied by people but no one were standing.
Just when I thought that everything was calm and peaceful, the man next to me started smiling at me.He was heavily drunk and I felt something odd in his smile. I turned away."Why did you turn away?", I heard a rough tone behind my earlobes. It was him. I tried to Ignore him. But again he patted on my shoulder and asked me to turn and sit. I turned and sat facing him.He started a conversation
Drunk Maniac: Why did not you smile back at me?
I just looked at him
Drunk Maniac: Smile
Me: Sorry for not smiling at you. (I smiled at him)
DM: Don't you brush your teeth? Close your mouth you idiot.
I never saw that coming
DM: Why are you not answering me. See my teeth
Then he smiled and showed his teeth. It looked like the yolk of an egg flowing through the rear end of a pig
Me:Yes sir! Your teeth looks great. I would also try to keep my teeth as white as yours
DM: gOoOOOOd.
and then he burped. The smell was unbearable.
DMWhat is your name?
i thought of telling some other name
Me: Bill Clinton.
DM: No wonder your teeth is in that colour
two young guys were sitting behind us and they were following our conversation. They started smiling at me. Shame engulfed me.
Me: Sir! What is your name
DM: George Bush. Hahahahahaha.
handling this guy was very difficult. he played my trick in my own playground.
DM: Which school are you in?
that was the biggest insult i faced that day. I am a 22 year old ADULT and he was asking me which school I go to!!
Me:Sir ! I am not in school. In fact I am working.
DM: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Can you laugh like me
Me: Yes sir
DM: Then laugh
Me: hahahaha
DM: laugh louder man. Why are you laughing as if you are suffering from constipation
Me:Sir this is a public place and lot of people are sitting in this bus
DM:I know that. But we are living in a democratic country. You should laugh now
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
now everyone in the bus were looking at me. the ticket collector in the bus gave me a dirty stare. I stopped laughing immediately
DM: you laugh like an idiot
Me: Thank you sir
Suddenly the drunk maniac pulled the hair of the lady sitting in front of us. I never thought in my wildest dreams that he would do such a thing. The lady stood up from her seat and started swearing at me.The drunk maniac was also looking at me as if I was the culprit.
The conductor blew the whistle and the bus stopped. I was asked to step out of the bus. I was at least glad that I was not beaten up.I wanted to cry and say that I was innocent. But I had more than enough that night and hence I got down from the bus. Not all stories have happy endings
-Chronicwriter
It was 9.30 pm. I was in Chennai. I was planning to return home from work and found that my bike had a flat tyre. I decided to take the public transport to go back home. Five minutes later, I boarded a bus.Very few travellers were inside the bus. I took a seat near the back of the bus next to a man in his mid thirties. It was a very rare sight to see such an empty bus in Chennai. The seats were occupied by people but no one were standing.
Just when I thought that everything was calm and peaceful, the man next to me started smiling at me.He was heavily drunk and I felt something odd in his smile. I turned away."Why did you turn away?", I heard a rough tone behind my earlobes. It was him. I tried to Ignore him. But again he patted on my shoulder and asked me to turn and sit. I turned and sat facing him.He started a conversation
Drunk Maniac: Why did not you smile back at me?
I just looked at him
Drunk Maniac: Smile
Me: Sorry for not smiling at you. (I smiled at him)
DM: Don't you brush your teeth? Close your mouth you idiot.
I never saw that coming
DM: Why are you not answering me. See my teeth
Then he smiled and showed his teeth. It looked like the yolk of an egg flowing through the rear end of a pig
Me:Yes sir! Your teeth looks great. I would also try to keep my teeth as white as yours
DM: gOoOOOOd.
and then he burped. The smell was unbearable.
DMWhat is your name?
i thought of telling some other name
Me: Bill Clinton.
DM: No wonder your teeth is in that colour
two young guys were sitting behind us and they were following our conversation. They started smiling at me. Shame engulfed me.
Me: Sir! What is your name
DM: George Bush. Hahahahahaha.
handling this guy was very difficult. he played my trick in my own playground.
DM: Which school are you in?
that was the biggest insult i faced that day. I am a 22 year old ADULT and he was asking me which school I go to!!
Me:Sir ! I am not in school. In fact I am working.
DM: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Can you laugh like me
Me: Yes sir
DM: Then laugh
Me: hahahaha
DM: laugh louder man. Why are you laughing as if you are suffering from constipation
Me:Sir this is a public place and lot of people are sitting in this bus
DM:I know that. But we are living in a democratic country. You should laugh now
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
now everyone in the bus were looking at me. the ticket collector in the bus gave me a dirty stare. I stopped laughing immediately
DM: you laugh like an idiot
Me: Thank you sir
Suddenly the drunk maniac pulled the hair of the lady sitting in front of us. I never thought in my wildest dreams that he would do such a thing. The lady stood up from her seat and started swearing at me.The drunk maniac was also looking at me as if I was the culprit.
The conductor blew the whistle and the bus stopped. I was asked to step out of the bus. I was at least glad that I was not beaten up.I wanted to cry and say that I was innocent. But I had more than enough that night and hence I got down from the bus. Not all stories have happy endings
-Chronicwriter
fastest comment. :) I know only a loser can understand another one. Loved the post and yeah me too never saw that coming. It was one of the best post after you returned to active blogging.
s4n705h 9 January 2009 2:40 AM
And please recolor the fonts of dark blue to some other color its not visible to non losers :P
s4n705h 9 January 2009 2:41 AM
Chriz- Feeling dizzy now :)..Will come back later and read.
JOSH 9 January 2009 8:10 AM
Hahaha...did i laugh alright
??? nd the blue color font is not visible...
abhishek 9 January 2009 9:23 AM
lol ...:P...blue some wat not visible :P....change it to orange or red :)...good read :).
urs..hemu..
Hemanth Potluri 9 January 2009 10:16 AM
i like the scroll message ...ur not responsible for loss of under wear..:P...how can a reader loose tat :P...heheh
urs..hemu..
Hemanth Potluri 9 January 2009 10:19 AM
cant read anything written in blue:(
Renu 9 January 2009 10:46 AM
Oh my God~~~~that must have been a torture...:)
nevertheless your whole encounter was a fun read:D
totally enjoyed it..and just imagining ur facial expressions right after the lady started yelling at you:D
santasizing...Fantasizing 9 January 2009 11:26 AM
Super Chriz good one after ur come back this is the best keep rocking the Innocent chris was too cool and the narration was absolutely funny
Sivaram 9 January 2009 11:52 AM
hahahah...good one..must have felt much better after steppin out of the bus :D
ne mystery in Drunken Maniac becoming DC instead of DM??? :D
Prakhar 9 January 2009 12:16 PM
hey bro.. thomas here..
Send me ur ph number.. I’m been trying to contact u for ages. !
crossblade 9 January 2009 12:51 PM
someones missery is someones dose of laughter...sorry dude cudnt help but laff my ass to ur condition!!!
mayz 9 January 2009 1:11 PM
:P
now u named him right-maniac
d gypsy! 9 January 2009 1:23 PM
lolzzzzzzzz
Swats 9 January 2009 1:49 PM
ok that pic itself made me laugh out loud! :)
Keshi.
Keshi 9 January 2009 3:17 PM
hahahahahaa..gud One...
Can you pls change that blue color...its nt clear..
minniegirl 9 January 2009 3:50 PM
hehehe... am sorry... cant help laughing... :D
Harshita 9 January 2009 4:07 PM
@santosh
is it? hehe thank you bro
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:21 PM
@santosh
yea bro.. changed the colour now.. thanks... hehe
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:23 PM
@josh
feeling dizzy.. haha.. how is the hangover effect now?
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:23 PM
@abhishek
welkum bro.. yes changed the blue color font now:)
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:24 PM
@hemant
yea! everyone talking abt the blue font.. chenged it bro.. thanks...
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:24 PM
@renu
everyone told that... i changed it... there is an option of highlighting and reading..
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:25 PM
@santasizing richa
haha.. torturous.. yes.. it was fun too..
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:26 PM
@shiva
nandri.. hehe.. you know this na.. i was talking abt the pattimandram.. an inspiration.. :)
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:26 PM
@PRAKHAR
i never noticed that.. it was a mistake.. haha.. thanks a bunch bro.. i changed it.. DC is now DM
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:29 PM
@HEMANt
haha .. underwear! someone lost their underwear in my blog sometime back...
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:29 PM
@thomas
hey bro.. glad to see your comment.. sending it right away thru mail...
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:30 PM
@mayz
even am laughing at myself now...
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:31 PM
@dgypsy
yes maniac he is...welcome back girl
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:31 PM
@swats
hehehe :)
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:32 PM
@keshi
yes got that picture as a mail forward as the best drunk conversation.. thought it would be suitable for this post
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:33 PM
@minniegirl
thanks for coming
,.. yes changed the blue fonts..
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:34 PM
@harshita
glad to know that u dint need help for laffing.. keep laffing
Chriz 9 January 2009 4:35 PM
me laughing my stomach out...
sathiyama Chriz...that was hilarious... enda bus route... i will miss that bus wen i am back to TN next...
knck knock..
Yaaru pa adhu George bush ah??
Scoot...
ROFlarious...
The Rat... 9 January 2009 5:26 PM
thats wokay.. i had similar experiences :P
Elithraniel Arawion 9 January 2009 5:29 PM
I love the pic you've used...
How did you reach home finally?
Akansha Agrawal 9 January 2009 5:33 PM
Chris- Pic was too gud..I would say that you were fortuante that he did that only :)...You have inspired to write my new post..Check it out.
JOSH 9 January 2009 5:47 PM
@RAT
haha.. the mount road to guindy route... keep coming .. and when u r back in chennai u would have fun too in buses
Chriz 9 January 2009 5:52 PM
@anusha
you were the active drunkard or the passive drunkard?
Chriz 9 January 2009 5:53 PM
@akansha
two legs.. walk.. yes i lorved the picdure too
Chriz 9 January 2009 5:54 PM
@josh
yes would come and visit your page...
Chriz 9 January 2009 5:55 PM
why did you give into the drunkards' fancies.. ?
that was some experience!!! now my fear and disgust for drunkards (who are always present in buses late night) has increased all the more..
the pink orchid 9 January 2009 6:41 PM
HAHAHHAHAHA!!!! Recently even I was a passive listener when a friend of mine decided to get drunk on his bday and drowned me in his sorrows!!!! Happens!!
Thoorika 9 January 2009 6:46 PM
@pink orchid
if i had nt answered him it would have been a different scene that night
Chriz 9 January 2009 6:54 PM
@thoorika
you take me back to my college days.. emotional nights.. cryings.. heehe.. those were fun filled days
Chriz 9 January 2009 6:54 PM
oh ya.... oops i never thought of that..
i hope you never come across anything like that again..
the pink orchid 9 January 2009 6:56 PM
holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit!! muahahhahahahhahahahahha...
Trinaa 9 January 2009 7:38 PM
ROTFL.. That was hilarious.. Neverthless you must have had a tough time handling that dude :)
Shalini Gowrisankar 9 January 2009 7:50 PM
Gee! The irwing Wallace Reference, I liked it:-) And i recently had one awesome nightmare coz of this one drunkard when i was walking back home . Ha, i see so many peoples(lol) sailing thro the same boat.
The pic was just :P material.
Keep them coming:-)
Archana 9 January 2009 8:01 PM
Chriz dude U write so much like how I want to write ...Your humor mann I love it ....
lol...Intelli-gent(s)..Indeed :P
Anurag 9 January 2009 8:29 PM
@pink
unless i get drunk....:)
Chriz 9 January 2009 9:17 PM
@trinaa
i have heard people say this.. how can shit be holy???
hehe!!!
Chriz 9 January 2009 9:17 PM
@shalini
i never handled him at all.. i am very much straight...
Chriz 9 January 2009 9:18 PM
@archana
yeaa its the same boat.. and we call it Tight-tonic
Chriz 9 January 2009 9:19 PM
@anurag
i am taking a big bow now...i am glad.. thanks a bunch bro
Chriz 9 January 2009 9:21 PM
lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
serves you right mr chris and his smart ass comments!!!
Phoenix 9 January 2009 10:10 PM
@phoenixx
how rude raka... to disown me like this... yes it served me right cos i met a babe after i got down from the bus
Chriz 9 January 2009 10:44 PM
hahahhaha:D
loved tht one..
being a non-drinker and having spent lotta time with heavy drinkers, I really understand the situation u faced...
still pulling the hair of the lady...
tell me thr truth yaar..dint u do it:P
Praveen 10 January 2009 12:07 AM
Haha (no this is not an idiotic laughter)...!! ;)
Nice to know u met a George Bush spoof in 2004!! The original would have been no different!! :D
Good post there! Could relate very well to the first paragraph! ;)
Sree 10 January 2009 12:47 AM
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
See. I am not drunk. See. I made a straight line :P
Urv 10 January 2009 11:53 AM
OMG... I cannot imagine wat u must hv gone thru at dat moment...
He He He :-)
Cheers.
Tejo 10 January 2009 1:26 PM
@praveen
on second thoughts.. mi am not pretty sure if i did it..
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:32 PM
@sree
talking abt george bush.. i am planning to write an article on him... he is leaving office.. should pay him a fitting farewell
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:36 PM
@Urv
thaaliyaaaa.wonderful.. did someone help you?
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:37 PM
@tejo\
welkum to my page.. i am used to drunken interludes now.. so that wasnt a major shock for me anyways
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:37 PM
Thnks...
Used to??
God common man.... U must b jokin...
Tejo 10 January 2009 1:39 PM
@tejo
yae am a common man.. not a rare species.. btw did you mean come on man?
in that case.. jokes make this blog life tick along.. i have to do that :)
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:47 PM
Oh gud to see such a person i mean go easy kind....
Happy Writin n living..
Cheers
Tejo 10 January 2009 1:58 PM
@tejo
haha.. a toast to the new blogmate..
cheers!!!
Chriz 10 January 2009 1:59 PM
Didn't you tell the woman that you had not pulled her hair?
WACKY! =P
CяystąL 10 January 2009 2:54 PM
i had a brush(literally) with a drunkard yday nite, chriz.. the idiot was driving a bike and suddenly brushed and tried to pull my leg (i was on a friend's bike)... the guy got a nightmare of thrashing from my friend... :-|
The Rat... 10 January 2009 2:54 PM
@AAYUSHI
i dint tell her... she was not a babe...!!! she was married and she was probably in her forties.. why would i tell her?
Chriz 10 January 2009 3:27 PM
@rat
poor drunkard.. never ever beat a drunkard.. always talk with them and listen to them.. they have their own sad stories...
Chriz 10 January 2009 3:28 PM
Thou art Tagged, Chriz Ji.
Archana 10 January 2009 5:02 PM
@archana
coming to check it ji
Chriz 10 January 2009 5:17 PM
(finally they have removed the filter:D...they might have overheard ur plot to kill the server:P)
nice one...u r slowly getting ur (humour)senses bak;)
also loved ur chrony-stuff in the sidebar:)
Neethu 10 January 2009 6:11 PM
@neeths
haha
thanks a bunch girll.. glad to see back in the commenting section...
Chriz 10 January 2009 6:24 PM
lol..:) good read..:)
i also hav similar experiences but i ran away b4 speakin with the d.person:)
happy blogging
Resonator 10 January 2009 6:53 PM
:) funny experience...good u got off, Bill otherwise u would have been beaten up by George n busmates...to think that he pulled that lady's hair !!!
Vinnie 10 January 2009 7:30 PM
@resonator
you just missed a golden oopportunity of having a great romantic conversation.. i feel sorry for you
Chriz 10 January 2009 7:52 PM
@vinnie
if i had been beaten up for pulling an aunty's hair, i wouldnt have forgiven myself
Chriz 10 January 2009 7:54 PM
Lol I wonder what the hell that man had drunk
BloggerMouth 10 January 2009 7:58 PM
haha :)).. u shd be thankful to God.. the lady left u with just words.. the first time I visited chennai.. I sat on a ladies seat in a bus and the bus was full.. there were a few college girls standing in the front..then suddenly a middle aged lady starts shouting from the rear door..I had no idea abt wat it was.. and the girls standing nxt to me were laughing lookin at me.. after sometime the conductor asked me to get up.. I didn't knew that in chennai the whole left row in a bus is reserved for ladies..the lady from behind came and sat on the seat with an ugly stare on me.. thats it.. after that I never sat on a seat in a bus in chennai..this happened in the year 2000
..nice pic..and the post is really funny.. it reminded me of my experience
Unknown!!! 10 January 2009 8:36 PM
@bloggermouth
probably salpeitaa
Chriz 10 January 2009 8:48 PM
@unknown
haha welcome to chennai's culture bro.. u shud have had fun indeed.. hope u don sit there anymore.. thanks for sharing ujr experience
Chriz 10 January 2009 8:51 PM
Next time I see a drunkard, I'll direct him to this post... :P
Too good, man... :D
Peace.
Kartz 10 January 2009 9:53 PM
oh so.....sad the conclusion is terribly sad...i was expecting some exchange of beatings to happen...you disappointed me chrissss...:)))
m.flowerr 11 January 2009 9:28 PM
Did this really happen? Ohmigoshh!!
Sam 12 January 2009 7:29 AM
Oh i cant believe it, you actually laughed so loudly in the bus ??? But nice experience i must say! :)
moi 22 January 2009 3:52 PM