Oct 31, 2008

255. Sensex

"The bear is on a rampage. Will the Bull charge back?"
This caption is a terminology used in economics. In laymen language,"When the economy is doing well, we call it the Bullish economy and when the economy is going from good to bad, we call it Bearish"


My knowledge on economics and finance is not really good. But the very little knowledge that I have on this subject is just because of one term "SENSEX".Let me take you back down memory lane and explain how "SENSEX" changed my life.


2-May-2005


I have completed one year of MBA.This day was a very crucial day of my life. I had to choose my elective papers. My course pattern indicated that I could do a dual degree. I took marketing as my Major degree.
As I could take up a dual degree, I took Information Technology as my Minor degree.An MBA in Marketing and Systems sounded really great. But after selecting all the papers, I found out that I had the liberty to choose one more paper.


The only elective that was left open was Finance. I knew that I was not born for finance. But my inner mind told me that I could do well in that subject too.I finally decided that I would do a paper in Finance too. I glanced through the various papers available under the heading "Finance".
1)Income tax 2)Security and Portfolio management 3) Sensex 4) Stock Market 5) credit analysis.

To be frank I had no idea when I read these five subject names. But one subject really caught my attention. "SENSEX". I enrolled for that class and classes started.


I was so very happy because the most beautiful lecturer in college happened to take that subject. Days went by and I realised that SENSEX had nothing to do with Sensuality and Sex. I managed to clear that paper in exams but I am really surprised cos I do not know a single thing in that subject. Just when I was about to blame the examination system of the country, I chanced upon this video




When she can win Miss Teen USA title, I am not at all ashamed of clearing my SENSEX paper
-Chronicwriter

Oct 30, 2008

254. BARKa-nusha-Dutt

Date:October 3rd 1985
Venue:A kindergarden classroom

The class teacher (CT) was asking a few questions to her three year old toddler students.

CT: Hey Nisha What do you want to become in the future?
Nisha: Ma'm I want to become a Nurse
CT: That is good. Maddy! What will you become when you grow up?
Maddy: I will become a daddy
CT: Haha..Now Renu! Tell me, what would you become?
Renu: Ma'm I want to become the future prime-minister of the nation.
CT: Thats a very good answer. Students give a big round of applaue for Renu
(Everyone clapped. I clapped too. Yes I was inside that very same class. I was clapping without knowing the meaning of two words 1.prime-minister and 2. applause)
CT: Now Chriz!Tell me what will you become in the future.
Chriz: I will come in the newspapers Ma'm
CT: Haha! Dream on you silly boy. First try to recite the 26 alphabets.

Everyone in the classroom laughed at me. That day I made a pledge. Yes! I made a pledge that I would appear on a newspaper one day.In the years that followed I was disappointed to see news on Osama,K-fed,Britney, Rakhi Sawant and even Paris Hilton flooding the newspapers.I did not lose hope and that is when I decided to go to the warfront.


The only reason why Abhinav Bhindra clinched the Gold medal for India was because I did not participate in the shooting event. Yes! I was busy in the battle field fighting againts terrorism. I was a champion shooter. My commander considered me to be an asset to the team.My gun used to do the talking all the time. On one such occassion, I was fighting against a gang of terrorists and that's when I saw her. Her name was Anusha. She was a Journalist.


She crawled and approached me. Yes she came close to me. She had a microphone in one hand and a camera in the other hand. She started interviewing me. I lost my concentration and in the process, the enemies shot me in the leg. My leg was hurt big time. But being a strong girl, Anusha carried me to a safer place and we continued with our interview.

I came to know that she calls herself "The wolf" and that she also writes a Blog.We had a long conversation. Anusha apparently is from my Home-state too,"Tamilnadu".Her interview was quite different. She did all the talking and I was asking the questions. It was fun.

29-10-2008
I woke up to read the newspaper and Yes an article about me appeared in the paper. Thank you, "Anusha-The wolf" for that awesome write-up. A future Burkha Dutt in the making.

-chronicwriter

Oct 29, 2008

253. Attitude! Girl, Attitude!!!

The Tips that were offered to men in one of my earlier posts evoked mixed reactions from all the quarters in the country. Men from different parts of the country came together (no pun intended) and started an “Anti-Chriz” community. They staged a nation wide protest in their respective houses.

Some of their slogans were,
1) Chriz is a womanizer
2) Chriz is a Chicken
3) Chriz behaves like Britney spears.


I had a heavy heart when I came to know about these slogans. The first two slogans did not trouble me at all. The 3rd slogan however scraped my heart into shreds. When ever I am down with a heavy heart, I fling myself on the bed and cry my eyes out on to the pillow.

I cried the whole of last night; and my pillow appeared like a sponge soaked in water. My mom never believed me when I tried convincing her that I was indeed crying the whole night. She has doubts that I still wet my bed during my sleep.

The male community has lost faith in me. My folks have lost faith in me. That is when I thought, I should win back my pride. In order to win back my lost-pride, I present to all of you the much awaited post (I really know, no one would have awaited for this post. But writing like that gives me pleasure. So please bear with me)

Orkut for WOMEN
This post is a special dedication for all the women around the Globe. If you follow the tips given here, the guys will be following you for ever.
Pre-Requisite: All the girls are requested to say the word “ATTITUDE” five times before proceeding any further.
Ok here we go…

How to design an Orkut profile? (For women)

Name: This is the second thing that a guy would look for when he scans through different Orkut profiles (The first thing being the gender). So all the girls are requested to type in a girl name. I have a few girl-mates with Boy names. Arun, Ryan… If you have similar names, just add the letter A at the end and make it Aruna and Ryana respectively. Also a girl’s profile name should be a mixture of upper-case letters and lowercase alphabets and some special characters.

If your name is Shiney Abraham, you should type it as “$#In3Y @Bra#Am”. Do not use much of your intelligence and add the alphabet “A” at the end of the word Abraham. You should remember that it is your surname.

About me: Remember the word ATTITUDE when you fill this section. Every single word should be filled with raw-never-care-attitude. The following line is a mandatory line. “I am not here to make Fraansheeps. So if you don’t know me, please don’t scrap me”. If you have this line in your About me section, then you are bound to have more scraps.

Gender: The first thing that a guy would look for… Be proud of your feminine nature. Even if you are a tom boy and even if you have doubts regarding your orientation, just select the word “Female”. 100 scraps are guaranteed within 24 hours.

Relationship Status: It doesn’t matter even if you are married or divorced. If you are a member of the fairer gender and if you have typed “Female” as the answer to the previous question, just select any option of your choice as an answer for this question.

Birthday: Never add your birthday. Invariably a guy would ask your birthday in the sixth or seventh scrap and that question would help you in throwing more attitude.

City: Do not write all the names of the cities you have visited in your life. If you are living in Chennai now, then type it as Chennai. If you move to Mumbai tomorrow, then change it to Mumbai. Let the guys keep on guessing.

Zip/Postal code: Any six digit number will do. You can even type in your mobile number. No one will even bother to look at this

Interested in: Don’t answer this question. Answering this question will result in a 20% decrease in potential scraps..

Children: Do you have children? Then type the number of children you have

Ethnicity: Black or white. Red or Blue, a girl always has the upper hand in Orkut.

Political view: Don’t answer this question. Be honest.

Humor:Slapstick humor goes well with boys for obvious reasons.

Fashion: You are a modern girl. Remember that.

Language: As a girl you would at least know 5 languages. Type all the languages you know.

Sexual orientation: Even if I give a tip on this one, would you choose “bicurious”?.

Smoking, drinking: Do not answer this question. Gone were those days when Guys hated girls who smoked

Living: Do not check all the options. If you do so, it would read like this, “living alone with parents and a partner with kids and friends visit often with roommates who party every night with your pets”.

Passions: Go on… Show your mettle.. I needn’t help you with this one.. Don’t ever say that Hrithik and Brad Pitt are your passions. Guys are possessive (Equally possessive like their counterparts)

Sports: Even if you have pink pyjama parties with your girl friends and play truth or dare, do not add them here. I once peeped inside my neighbor babe’s bedroom. She was playing “Truth or dare” with three of her friends”. One dare-act she performed that night still gives me sleepless nights.

Books: Just type the names of the books that are currently within 1 foot away from you. I am sure you can at least come up with five names.

Music: Don’t add any gay-boy bands. You should be inclined to heavy death metal. Are you interested in Pop? Don’t add that name.Guys love rock.

Movies: I am hundred percent sure that you drool at Hrithiks biceps and Josh Holloway’s chiseled looks. But stick on to the names of the movies that you have seen. Do not go over board and express your feelings for all the reel-heroes.

TV Shows: If you are a girl, you should have Friends, sex and the city and all the girly sitcoms that you usually watch.

Cuisine: If you do not know what cuisine is all about, just add the names of some countries in your list. Indian, Chinese, Italian, Spanish would do. Do not add names such as Iraq, Afghanistan and United States of America.

Profile picture: As long as your gender is female, you don’t have to worry about the profile picture. Leaving the space empty without a profile picture invokes mixed reactions. Guys will either think that you are drop dead gorgeous or they’d think that you are an attu figure (A look alike of briney spears/Rakhi Sawant).So this portion involves lot of pyscho-precision. Either add a picture of one of your eyes, or click a picture of your ear and post them or even add a picture of your index finger. Anything works here

Recent Visitors: Boys would of course visit your profile in large numbers. So your recent visitor’s list would always have new names everyday. Just take a picture of the recent visitors list and add that picture in your photo album with the caption “These guys are crazy about me”. It sure does give you kick.





Scraps: Remember that you are a girl and try to keep your scraps short and sweet. Do not scrap the way you talk. There should not be more than four words in a single scrap. The most important thing is never to answer any question posed by a guy. Remember you are the question-master

Fans: If you are careful enough to state that you are a member of the fairer gender, you are bound to have every Tom, Shane and Harry as your fan.(Do not ask me, who Shane is.. I am pretty sure that you are not bothered to know about Tom and Harry)

Testimonials: Just create a decent Orkut profile and don’t forget to state that you are a female. Testimonials would flood in. Add some testimonials to your friends. Invariably they would return their favor by adding a testimonial for you. Accept their testimonial, but do not forget to delete the testimonial you added for them.

Remember to flaunt with your attitude in every inch of your profile. So when you fill your profile, just remember to mutter the following sentence," I have an Attitude"

-Chronicwriter (An Ex-Orkuttian)

Oct 27, 2008

252. Cracking Diwali



I am now celebrating Diwali with my friend.
As I am travelling now, I could not come up with a long post.
Yes blogging with a mobile phone can be a pain
I am showing off with the above line to stress on two points
1) I have a mobile phone
2) I have WAP in it.
Have a great Diwali. Feel free to read my Diwali memories.


-Chronicwriter

Oct 26, 2008

251. Shiv -Ram

You know Bill Gates?
I know him too
You know Philip Koetler?
I know about him too
Sachin Tendulkar
Every one knows.
Shivram
If you do not know about him, You can know about him now

I first met him almost four and a half years back. The first impression that I had about him was, "Oh such an innocent guy". Apparently the first impression he had on me was," Oh such a loud mouthed idiot"... In due course of time my impression on him changed and I realised that he was not an innocent, calm and sullen guy but a loud mouthed beef just like me.His impression on me never changed anyways.
2004, June.

I was in college for my MBA in Rajagiri School of Management in cochin. Cochin is a city in a southern state called Kerala.Well I was new to the place and I soon found that I was the only Tamil guy in that entire college.
The whole college was flooded with Mallus, Gujjus, Marathis, Northies and even people from the north-east. But only one from Tamilnadu. Yes Thats me. After one week of college, a new guy entered college. He spoke Tamil and I realised that he was also from Tamilnadu.
I went to him extended my hand and said," Hey doood! Welcome to God's own country,and I am Chriz". He just looked into my eyes for a few seconds and slowly extended his hands," Well My name is Shivram". I knew he was feeling the pressure cos he was a new bird feeling a news breeze in a new forest.
We started having a good bond because when ever I wanted to speak in my mother tongue to someone in my college, the only person I could turn to was Shiv.Soon I realised that he was a nut cracker too.
Another common thing between us was our Masala capabilities. If a topic is given to us for presentation, we could go on talking about that subject for an hour (we wouldn't have any clue what we were talking.Our fellow students would also have no clue). I still remember a few of my class mates ,"Woody,Ghosh" who would ask doubts for our presentation too.
We had a small gang in college. We called ourselves"The sexy seven".Shiv used to hang out with us.In the picture below, the one in green is Joseph Pius Alapatt. I already blogged about him.The one on the extreme left is Anterson.I would soon come with a post on him too.The pinky boy is me. I still feel yukky for wearing pink, fluorescent shirts in my college days.
No wonder I never became committed with anyone.The guy with very less hair (next to me) is Shiv. This photo was taken exactly one after Shiv's birthday. We tonsured his head on his birthday. We almost massacred him on his birthday

Shiv also had this peculiar habit of sitting in the front seat of an autorickshaw. Even if he travels alone, he always prefers a seat next to the autodriver.We never understood the reason behind the same though.

This picture was taken in our college cafeteria. Me, Sateesh and Shiv are having our regular movie time. This was our regular place when we bunked classes.That canteen water comes goes across my memory now.We had to pay five bucks and wait in front of the coffee machine for five minutes for that coffee powder mixed water. This fellow is so concerned about his shirt. But that white shirt became a T-shirt that day.

And finally, after many backpapers,projects, love failures,lectures and hardships we are finally MBAs. The so called professional look.Anterson, Me, Abraham, Jithu and Shiv pose for our memory.

Shiva is a now a research analyst.He works in Hyderabad. He has stepped foot into the world of blogging too. Click HERE to visit his page. It would be really informative unlike mine.I am paying a visit to Shiv's place. We are gonna celebrate Diwali together.It is time for me to catch up with him with our college day talks after two and a half years.Happy Diwali

-Chronicwriter

Oct 25, 2008

250. Improve your Performance

Note: This post is long. But I assure you, that when you have read it till the end, you will be self actualised. This post is inspired from a mail that was forwarded to me by my friend.
This morning when I opened my mailbox, I received a mail from Linda Hayes. The subject line was, “Do you want to improve your performance”. Being a very innocent guy, I happened to open that mail and the next moment, pop-ups flooded my screen. This incident inspired me to come up with this post. Do you want to improve your performance too? Then Read on…
Well I forgot to mention. I am actually gonna give a few tips on improving your performance in social networking sites. Talking about social networking sites, the first thing that comes to my mind is Orkut.

Many of my friends say the same dialogue, “I have an orkut account just to stay in touch with my old friends”. That is a big fat lie.Guys! We should admit that when we sign into orkut the first thing we do is check
1) Whether any girl had scrapped us
2) Whether any girl appears in our recent visitors list
3) Whether any girl has added a testimonial for us


When none of these three things happen to us, we get irritated and we do the following things
1) We hunt for profiles of girls in girls school/ college communities and consider all good looking babes as our babe
2) We scrap so called whacky pick-up lines (Which we consider as the most intelligent scrap of all time)
3) Alter our profile expecting some improvement in our performance.


When none of these desperate measures work out, we finally say “Orkut is affecting my performance at work” and even decide to quit from Orkut. But Hold on. You are not alone. There is a big bunch of the male community leaving Orkut these days.
For such poor souls who are thinking of quitting orkut because their performance is not good enough, here are a few tips to increase your orkut performance. I am writing this post for such poor souls.

How to improve your Orkut performance? (For men)
Women can also read this post cos you would know the different techniques that a guy would adopt in improving his performance after reading this post.
Let us begin with the Profile


Name:
This is the first thing that any person would look at. So the name should always be stylish. If you still have names like Shantharam, Kandhaswamy, Subramanian, Chidambaranaadhan, NarayanaGopal and Balachandran in your profile, immediately change them to Shane, Kansaw, Super-Man, Chads, Naraine Paul and Balls respectively. An improvement of 3.5% in your performance can be noted within 24 hours.

About me: Usual smart statements that are found in profiles are “It is for me to know and you to find out”, “I am not here to impress” etc.. Some people even have quotes of famous people in their about me section. I have even come across profiles that have poems on it, like the one below
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Do you know baby that I can fly?
Come on my dear Guys! These kinds of stuffs would be a big turn off even for a thirteen year old girl. The plot is very simple. Write something about you, in the about me section in the simplest way. Nothing less and nothing flowery.
Gender: Be a man! Be proud of our clan. Stare at yourself in front of the mirror. Just select the box which says “Male”. But I know there are lots of men who have Female Ids. Sometimes we have to use just simple plain common sense. A person with the name, “George”, cannot be a female.

Relationship Status: Treat the ladies the way they want to be treated. Even if you are married / committed say that you are single. For those who do not know what an open relationship is, stay away from it. Scientists are still conducting experiments to find the exact meaning of open relationships.

Birthday: This is one day when you get the maximum number of scraps from girls. So, have at least 3 birthdays in a year. Change it every now and then so that you get wishes from girls every now and then.

City: It should be a cosmopolitan city. For heaven’s sake do not write the name of your village. If you are from some village say Kayankulam, Chandrakulam, Badiwaada, Paappapatti, never put it in your profile. India has four metro cities and a few so called cities that come very near to the Cosmo culture. Select one such city that is located closer to the place where you live.

Zip/Postal code: The metros have specific postal codes. Do not write the postal code of your village (Lateral thinking)
Interested in: Select anything in the list. But do not make the mistake of creating a doubt among the girls’ minds by selecting “Looking for men”. Remember that you are neither a gay nor a Bi. Even if you are, do not select them.
Children: You are single. Single men are not supposed to have children. (You might argue by telling that even single men can become fathers. That is true. But in social networking sites, we should curb our know-it all attitude)

Ethnicity: If you are an Indian, you automatically become an Asian.

Political view: Select anything. No girl is going to make a decision on you based on the whether you are a centrist or a left democratist
Humor: Select anything/everything. Girls like humorous people (Don’t they?)

Fashion: We are living in the 20th century. Select a couple of options to show that you are flexible to fashion changes.

Language: English is mandatory. Also select your mother tongue. Select a few more languages too. If you do not know French, don’t select it. Most girls know French.
Sexual orientation: Even if you sit with a hunch back, just say that you are Straight. There are options like bisexual/bicurious. Just ignore them

Smoking, drinking: Some girls like smokers and drunkards. So the best way to answer this question is not to answer this question. So no answer is the best answer.

Living: Do not check all the options. If you do so, it would read like this, “living alone with parents and a partner with kids and friends visit often with roommates who party every night with your pets”.

Passions: We all know what our passions are. But this is where we should control ourselves. Music, Movies, Sports serves as the best answer
Sports: Girls like Men and they usually do not prefer boys. So do not write stuffs like, “Hide and seek, the thief and the cops and all the games that you play with your neighbor kids”. Soccer, Tennis,F1.. Don’t they look great?

Activities: If you are honest here, then all the effort that you have put in designing your profile will go for a toss. We have started lying and we should continue to lie. Say that you are a bungee jumper or that you have biker gang or maybe a rock band

Books: Girls would love to know about your reading taste. I really do not know what they would decipher out of this. It is better to have names like Frederick Forsyth, Paulo Coelho, Harold Robbins, Irwing Wallace. Do not write the names of the books that you usually read (rather gaze at).

Music: If you put in names like Emraan Haasmi and DJ Doll, it is high time that you close your Orkut Account. Use names like MLTR, Metallica, Seether, Creed or go for famous Individuals like Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler, Santanna, Ossie. If you do not have Beatles in your list, you stand very close to lose many scraps.
If you do not know the names of any bands just type metal, death metal, rock, pop, classic, western or country. People would think that you have an in-depth knowledge. Never add names of the gay-Boy bands in your list. If you have Britney Spears in your list, please do not read my blog here after.

Movies: Even if you are an SRK, Vijay, Ajith, Mohanlal fan curb your desire. Hollywood is where we should concentrate on. At least ten movies from the top 100 movies in IMDB should feature in your list

TV Shows: Even if you watch VIP in AXN , Baywatch in Star world and silk-stockings in Zee for obvious reasons, your profile is not the place to reveal it. Have the names of some talk shows. Friends and Full house are a must. Do not ever dream about mentioning the names of the mega serials that you watch in the regional channels.

Cuisine: If you do not know what cuisine is all about, just add the names of some countries in your list. Indian, Chinese, Italian, Spanish would do. Do not add names such as Iraq, Afghanistan and United States of America.
Now we are 50% trough in building 250% of success through our profile. The next 50% will yield great results.


Profile picture: Put your own picture. Photoshop comes into best effect. Do not add that picture of you in tie, coat and suit ( The one that you took for your examination hall ticket) .But do not morph your picture in a body like this.

Recent Visitors: If you visit girls profiles, they would invariably at least take a look into your profile. So the more girls’ profiles you visit, the more visitors you would have from a person of the fairer sex. On one such day your recent visitors list will be full of girls. Just take a picture of that and add it in your photo album with the caption " These girls are crazy about me"

Scraps: Scrap as many girls as you can. Never show that you are desperate (even if you are). You have a 1/10 chance of getting a scrap back with the most common question “Who are you? Do I know you?” If you get this sort of scrap, just remember that you have the fish near the net and it is just a matter of precision and shrewdness with which you will have it in the net. Just wave your net gently with stories that you are very capable of cooking. Never ever show that you are desperate

A recent survey by Mr.X shows that a news sect of girls are very much attracted to desperate guys. God I am confused now.

Fans: If you become someone else’s fan, they become your fan automatically. There are People who do not become your fan even one week after you becoming their fan.Just remember that there is no point in you being their fan.

Testimonials: Treat your friends and they would add testimonials for you. I had 36 testimonials in Orkut. You can even write your own testimonials and ask your friends to post it for you.


Communities: This is where you should be really careful. Even if you like Pamela Anderson, Avia Giovanni, do not join communities that are started for them. Join communities of famous, musicians, authors. Also join intelligent communities like brain teasers, Chess. Also when you join your school community be very careful that you do not show your true color by actively participating in the forums.

That’s all I could come up as of now. If anyone else has any other great ideas, please feel free to share in the smiles section.

-Chronicwriter (An Ex-Orkuttian)
Orkut for women - Soon to hit this page

Oct 24, 2008

249.The secret of the moon

Rockets always fascinated me right from my childhood days. Even while bursting crackers during festive seasons, my concentration would be on those fire-cracker-rockets which could propel up to around 100 feet. The topic for the day is Rockets.


The Russians and the Americans successfully tested un-manned Moon missions in the early Sixties. After almost 50 years India has done it. Yes the first Un-manned Moon mission,"Chandrayaan-1" was a success.

Chandrayaan-1 is India's first mission to moon and also the 51st satellite of the Indian Space Programme.The lifespan of this mission is two years.

What is the objective for launching Chandrayaan-1 ?

1) To design,develop and launch a spacecraft in lunar polar orbit using an Indian Launch Vehicle

2) Higher image resolution of lunar terrain along with Chemical and mineral mapping. (Hope they do not find urine samples there)

3) To enhance India's image in the Global scene by being a part of the select group which has the capability to observe planets/satellites directly.

What did Chandrayaan Carry?

1) Terrain mapper (To map the outer surface of the moon)
2) Mineral mapper ( TO map and sense for any new minerals)
3) Topography Mapper
4) Volatile object Mapper (To find if there are any volatile objects in the moon)
5) Moon Impactprobe (To find places in moon where a soft landing can be done)

Chandrayaan also carries 6 other loads from Germany, United States,Bulgaria,Sweden,Japan and UK
1) Mini-SAR from NASA (To distinguish water ice from dry lunar surface)
2)Mineralogy Mapper from NASA ( To map the geological composition of the moon)
3)Radiation monitor from Belgium ( For the study of solar particles in moon)
4)SARA from Sweden/Japan/India (Imaging of the moon's surface to measure moon's flux)
5) XRay Spetrometer from UK. ( Finding the abundance of various chemicals)
6)IR spectrimeter from Germany (To study lunar mineralogy)

The launch vehicle used for Chandrayaan-1 was none other than the tried and tested PSLV

1)The launch vehicle is 44.4 metre tall (PSLV-C11)
2) The propellant(fuel)weighs 138 tonnes (Now I realise that Rockets are indeed a big thing)
3) Moon is at a distance of 4,00,000 km from earth and Chandrayaan-1 will take 15 days to deposit all the 11 paylods in the respective orbits
4)The launch is a success but we have to wait for another 15 days to see whether all the 11 payloads have been placed in their respctive destinations.
Moon has been the only world other than Earth where human beings have set foot. No one knows whether moon has water particles or not. The moon has various other secrets too. Will Chandrayaan-1 reveal those secrets?

The man standing next to me in the picture is the brain behind this post.He is a Scientist and he heads the Liquid Propulsion plant (ISRO) of the country.I call him Papa (Daddy)

-Chronicwriter

Oct 23, 2008

248. Save Cricket

First it was...
Mandira Bedi

She took the cricketing world by storm with her anchoring skills. became magnetized to cricket because of her. She was the same girl who once asked Charu Sharma," Why do eleven players play with only one ball? Why not give everyone,one ball each".From then on, Charu Sharma never spoke anything about cricket when Mandira was around.
Well I am still waiting for my chance to congratulate her for her breathtaking and awe-inspiring performance in the Tamil Movie, Manmadhan
Then it was the turn of...
Shonali Nagrani


She started anchoring in Zee Channel and I am glad for one reason. Just because of this sweet lady,Navjot Singh Sidhu stopped spinning his Siddhuisms and I love her for only this reason.

During a match,
Navjot Singh Sidhu : Facing a ball from Brett Lee is worser than a French nurse having chicken pox in her socks
Shonali: Cut the crap! Tell me one thing. I can see only eleven players on the fielding side. This is 20-20 cricket and invariable there should be 20 players on each side. What happened to the rest 9?
Sidhu stopped speaking from that day

Then the stage opened for
Mayanti Langer


I am very confident that everyone including me wouldnot be interested in watching the game. We would rather prefer watching this girl.

And Finally now

Rakhi Sawant

God ! Save Cricket

-Chronicwriter

Oct 22, 2008

247 www.chronicwriter.com

Did you notice any change in this blog? Well! Check the URL. Yes it is a separate entity now.

The old blogspot link will automatically pull you to this new website. Nothing has changed.This blog would still have all the humor and emotions packed and I will try my level best to make my readers have a smile on their faces when they read my posts. Keep the upward curve :) intact.
Well I also figured out that my blog is worth this much.


My blog is worth $6,209.94.
How much is your blog worth?

Anyone willing to buy my blog? If so, you stand a chance of getting this underwear free along with the blog.

Chronicwriter will be soon in the papers too... If you want to know the reason, all I can say is wait for one more week.
-Chronicwriter

Oct 21, 2008

246. InSPEARational Speech

One of my girlfriends read my previous post and got inspired by it. She even came to my place gave a big warm hug and punched a neat smacky french kiss.Well! I can see that all the guys are becoming jealous now. So I am not gonna go in detail about the kiss.

I am gonna talk about inspirational speeches.I have heard many inspirational speakers inspiring me in my life. My grandfather, granny, My dad and my mom too has come up with great inspiration talks that has moulded me in a bigger way.I once read the book You can win by Shiv Khera! Boy I assure you that it was an amazing book

When ever I was down and sad, these inspirational speeches pulled me up and made me to come to this position now (Yes I am sitting in front of the computer now) .But I can clearly say that none of the speeches that I have heard so far come even an mile closer to the amazing speech delivered by Uncle Sam in the Indian treaty room.

This speech has made me to change my perception on inspirational speeches. I had tears in my eyes. This is just a one minute speech. But He sure touches our hearts with his words.Check this video


-Chronicwriter

Oct 20, 2008

245. Do you have some Honey?

The preacher placed two identical containers on the table next to the pulpit. He quoted 1 Samuel 16:7 "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart"

These containers came from the same factory, were made of the same materials, and can hold the same amount. But they are different, he explained.

Then he shook one container and it oozed out honey. He turned over the other, and vinegar spilled out. When a container is upset, whatever is in it comes out. Until containers were upset, they looked alike. The difference was within, and could not be seen. When they were upset, their contents were revealed.

Until we are upset we put on a good front. But when we are upset, we reveal our innermost thoughts and attitudes.


If someone irritated you today, What would flow out ?? Would you reveal the "honey" of grace and patience, or the "vinegar" of anger and sarcasm ??

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude
of sins"
(1 Peter 4:8)


Have a terrific day knowing that the one who upsets you may be just
looking for some honey

-Chronicwriter

Oct 18, 2008

244. Purple Red or Yellow

I had a very tiring day and just when I was about to hit the sack, my mobile phone started ringing.I looked at the mobile phone.It read, Prime Minister calling


I immediately knew that the matter was really serious.Yes It was the Prime Minister of the country. For those who never knew that the Prime Minister and I are very close friends,it is time that you realised that you are actually reading the blog of a very important person of this country.Let me get back to the point. I picked the call


Me: Hi Bunny (That is how I call him)
PM: Hi chriz. It is a very important matter
Me: Ok! Tell me. How can I help you
PM: The enemies have planned to attack our country. They have formulated a secret code and we need your help to decode this deadly code. Can you please save the country?
Me: Ok. Pull Bakoosa for this call. Let us have a conference call
(Bakoosa is the Defence Minister of the country and that is how I call him)
Ring... Ring
DM:Hello PM. It is a pleasure getting a call from you.
PM: Mr Defence Minister, This is a Conference call.We have the Most respected Chriz, also in this call
Me: Hey Bakoosa... 'ssup?
DM: Hi Chriz. It is my privilege. I was trying your number. But as usual you were busy on a call with some babe.
Me:Coming to the point , How can I save the country?
DM: The enemies have devised a code. They call it the "Purple Red or Yellow" code.We have no clue what it is all about. We need your help
Me: Go to sleep Bakoosa and Bunny. I'll take care of this
I kept the phone. My granny has adviced me to keep my telephonic conversations short and sweet.


I got up from my bed and went to the loo. That is the place where my thinking cells usually work. The moment I stepped inside the Loo, I had the answer to the problem. Immediately I came out of the Loo, took my mobile phone and rang up my sister.

My sister has two Lovely Kids, Jeremy "4" and Jolena "1". I knew very well that these kids are the best in the business when it comes to code breaking. Jeremy has broken 24 toys so far and Jolena is an expert in breaking the rules at home.


I told the matter to Jeremy and he said,"Do not worry, Uncle.. Jolena and I would break the Purple Red or Yellow code and save our country". I kept the phone and slept in peace.These two little kids indeed decoded the deadly code and saved our country.



See this Video, in which Jeremy and Jolena brainstorm together to Save our Country.



-Chronicwriter

Oct 17, 2008

243. Amzath Khan

He is the next big thing in the film Industry.I know him for the past five years. I first met him for my MBA preparatory classes in an training centre (IMS). He was a calm soft spoken lad. The chocolate Boy kinda guy. Later we went on to pursue our MBA goal in different colleges.

He entered the media world in a bigger way and now he works for Radio-One FM in Chennai. I met him again after a gap of four years. Boy!!! He looked different. The Amzath I first met in the year 2003 had a new look. He has turned into a stud.

Apparently,I ended up in Chennai and call it a pleasant accident, we became room-mates.He is an "emotion-free" soul with a carefree attitude. He just spreads smiles on every one's faces.He is gonna make his entry into the filmworld in a Big way. Yes! He is acting in a movie.

The name of the movie is "Pugaipadam" (Photograph).It is directed by Rajesh Lingam who has come from the stable of one of the biggest directors in Tamil film Industry, "Selvaraghavan" . Gangai Amaran, a very noted music director is making his comeback through this movie.

A few stills from the movie...

What is his role in the movie? An action hero? Anti Hero? Psycho? Choco-Romantic Hero? Watch out for the movie.

-Chronicwriter

Oct 16, 2008

242. Myron

James S. Hewett is a wonderful inspirational writer. I happened to read a portion of his book,"Illustrations Unlimited", and I could not control myself but post that little inspirational story in my Blog.It is a story about a man called, "Myron". Sans much ado, let us read about Myron



Myron


In a small town in the midwest where I spent six years of my early youth, there lived a mentally retarded adult named Myron. It was during depression years and there was no place forMyron to be "kept" but at home. He lived there with his mother and they survived on the work that Myron did as a gardener.

He had a proverbial "green thumb," and the places where he did the gardening were easy to identify. The lawns,shrubs, hedges, flowers--all showed care, skill, and loving attention.Myron also did "volunteer" work. He cut grass, raked leaves, and planted flowers in what would otherwise have been unsightly vacant lots.


He was probably best known for his "oil can." He always carried a small can of lubricating oil in his hip pocket. A squeaky door or hinge or gate always got a "free" dose from Myron'soil can.

Never a Sunday went by that Myron was not in churchwith his mother. Yes, we boys tried to "tease" him. But he always got the better of us because he refused to be anything but cheerful,full of good humor, and totally unflappable.



Myron died a few years after I left town to attend college. It was not easy to arrange, but I went back for the funeral. I was not prepared for what I saw. It seemed that everyone in town had decided to attend the funeral and there were scores of others, like myself, who had traveled from distant places to be there.

Without consciously attempting to do so, Myron had patterned for us the kind of life that really matters. No, he had not achieved fame, fortune, or honor. But he had been a worker, an optimist, an "easer of tensions" and a faithful churchman. He was a man who "overcame" a handicap that he didn't even know he had.


--James S. Hewett

Oct 15, 2008

241. Let us Run, Mommy!

It is rainy season in my hometown "Nagercoil".I was out on a shopping spree and I made the big mistake of not carrying an Umbrella with me. The rain started to pour and hence I was waiting under the shelter in front of the supermarket. That is when, She caught my attention.

She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful short hair,pink-face Image of innocence. Her Mom looked like someone with a heavy heart. Not that she was old. She looked like a Mom.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the tops of raingutters, so much in a hurry to hit the Earth it has no time to flow downthe spout. Drains in the nearby parking lot were filled to capacity and some were blocked so that huge puddles made lakes around parked cars.

We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of supermarket. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rain fall. I get lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.

Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in. "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said."What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" she repeated."No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.This young child waited about another minute and repeated her statement."Mom. Let's run through the rain.""We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm."This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer,you said, "If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything!" The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.

We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Her Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said.

But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith."Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said. Then off they ran.

We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few believers who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. Perhaps inspired by their faith and trust.

Many ran that night.But only two people will share that precious moment when they ran through the rain believing that God would get them through. And Yes, I did. I ran too. I got wet. I needed washing.

"If God can get us through this ,he can get us through anything"

-Chronicwriter

Oct 14, 2008

240. Are we a perfect example for our children?

When I got mad today and hit my child "For his own good, "
I reconciled,and then I realized my plight...
Today, I taught my child to fight.

When interrupted by the phone,I said, "tell them I'm not home."
And then I thought, and had to sigh...
Today I taught my child to lie.

I told the tax man what I made,forgetting cash that was paid,
And than I blushed at this sad feat...
Today I taught my child to cheat.

I smugly bought a pirated CD,
But now the bells of shame must peal...
Today I taught my child to steal.

Today I cursed another race,Oh God, protect what I debase,
for now, I fear it is too late...
Today I taught my child to hate
.

What are we teaching our Kids?
Are we a perfect example for our children?


-Chronicwriter

Oct 13, 2008

239. Am I getting older?

I am getting older. Considering the flexibility that I had a few years back, I feel sad that I am not able to do the same stuff these days.

I was scanning through an Old photo album.It was the summer of 2005.One picture caught my attention.That one hand stand of mine.

I wanted to post this dance step in my blog. I tried the same dance pose now. But I could not do it anymore.

Am I getting Older?
How can a person know that he/she is getting old?
-Chronicwriter

Oct 12, 2008

238. Why are Men Happy?

Disclaimer:Chronicwriter is not a MCP.
Men are never depressed.
  • Men Are Just Happier People.
  • Men are very simple creatures.
  • The garage is all theirs.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • They can never be pregnant.
  • Car mechanics tell the truth.
  • The world is their urinal.
  • They don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • People never stare at their chest when they are talking to them.
  • One mood all the time.No mood swings
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • They know stuff about cars.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • If someone forgets to invite them, he or she can still be their friend.
  • Their underwear is Rs 100 for a three-pack.
  • One pair of shoes is more than enough.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • They only have to shave their face and neck.
  • They can wear shorts no matter how their legs look.
  • They can "do" their nails with a pocket knife.
  • They have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
  • They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier !!!!!

Oct 11, 2008

237.History Behind the mystery

Finally The movie is here for you.The audio might not be very clear cos it is a live recording.

Opening scene:
A couple (A young handsome man and his girlfriend) are brutally murdered...I would like to thank Ryan and Monica for shedding their clothes for this challenging scene( I am sure that a few souls would like to watch the movie now). By the way, Ryan and Monica are the Lead pair in the movie.

History behind the Mystery

- Chronicwriter

Oct 10, 2008

236.The first ever Notebook movie

The first ever notebook movie,"History behind the mystery" will very soon hit this very same blog. A few pointers about the movie

1) The movie runs for a little less than 5 minutes
2) The whole movie is unedited
3) For the first time in the History of cinema, the whole movie is taken in a single shot without any re-takes
4) Story, Screenplay,Music,Videography,Direction, Production-Chronicwriter
5) It is a Gory murder mystery movie.Yes, It indeed is A-rated.I request all my readers to keep their parents away from watching this movie.
6) On popular demand, One item number is also included in the movie.

Opening scene:
A couple (A young handsome man and his girlfriend) are brutally murdered...I would like to thank Ryan and Monica for shedding their clothes for this challenging scene( I am sure that a few souls would like to watch the movie now). By the way, Ryan and Monica are the Lead pair in the movie.
History behind the mystery, to hit this Blog-theater in a few hours.

-Chroonicwriter

Oct 9, 2008

235. PH calling

My phone rang very late the night-before-last night. I checked my watch. It was 11 pm.Late night calls are always reserved for public personalities.I looked into my mobile. It read PH calling...


"Oh No! Not again", I thought to myself. It was the same girl. She was crazy about me. She even told once that she fantasizes about me. I finally decided that it is high time that I made her to change her mind. Her name is Paris Hilton. I hope my readers know that she likes to act in front of the camera.

I picked the call
PH: Hey Hunney ( Low voice)... Muaaaaah
Me: Yes tell me! What do you want? (Rough voice)
PH: I was just thinking about you
Me: Ok
PH: Can I come over to your place?
Me: No
PH: Please! I am looking at your photo now
Me: Ok.
PH: I am going for the Cannes-dress-up rehearsal tomorrow. Can I pose with your photo?
Me: You can! But do not trouble me any more.
PH: Ok. Muaaaaaah
Me: Bang (Call Disconnected)

I do not know what happened the next day. But I was stunned to see this photo in the papers this morning.Some people are really crazy about me. I can't stop them.

Can you guys give me some tips to snub people like PH?
Note: Thanks Keshi for introducing me to Photofunia
-Chronicwriter

Oct 8, 2008

234. The 12 drunk men

I got a few pictures in the internet. A few pictures were sent to me by my friend. I took a few pitures.The result...
" The Twelve best drunkards of our time"
12. I just Hit the pedal

11. Before and After
10. My dream stinks
9.Is that my shoe in the air?

8.The door opened by itself
7.Drunk text message.Is it the Chronicwriter?
6.I can smell my arm pit
5.When I told that watermelons give you a kick, no one believed me!!!

4. I call it the wet wet wet jogging

3. Beer-de-france

2. I can sit like my dog

1. I amdoing my masters in Urine Technology

-Chronicwriter