Saturday, August 30, 2008

209. Chef boils water

The chef is launching his recipe diary with a tough lesson. I request all my readers to take a pencil and paper and note the points , i am gonna write here. These points would help you in becoming a world class chef like me. Without much adu, let us get into action

"How to boil water? "
Ingredients needed:

Kitchen : 1 no
Human being : 1 no ( It can be you)
Audience : 1 and above( Passive audience to watch you cook)
Audience : None ( Active audience, who are the end users of the cooked product)
Water : One litre
Container : 1 ( Please note that the container is not made of plastic.)
If the container is small and if it could not accomodate 1 Litre of water, then you can use more than one container for cooking.
Dress used by Mallika Sherawat : 2 Nos (For holding the container while conducting the cooking process. This is to increase the glamour effect while cooking)

The reader is requested to stop oggling at the picture and continue reading.
Gas stove: 1 no
Gas cylinder : 1 no
( If gas cylinder is not available, then there is no point of having a gas stove.You should have a good lateral thinking process like the author)
Gobar stove/Kerosene stove : 1 no ( If gas stove is not available)
Clock: 1 no ( If the clock is not in proper working condition, another clock can be used)
Match stick : 1 box ( For those that do not know how to use a matchstick, The author would devote another post on it)
Lighter : 1 no ( Those who are scared of using a match stick can use the lighter )

Let us proceed step by step

1) The human being (cook) can go inside the kitchen
2) Connect the gas cylinder to the gas stove
3) Ignite the stove using the matchstick/ Lighter
4) Gently pour water inside the container and place it on the stove
5) The audience should clap at this juncture
6) From now on, the cook's hands should not come in contact with the container without the help of mallika sherawat's clothes
7) The cook can do an item number for his/her own song for five minutes ( The clock comes into use now)
8) Bubbles would form on the top layer of water with a zzzzzz sound ( Bubbles accompanied by any sound other than zzzzzz should be disqualified)
9) Water is boiled and is ready to serve
10) To test if water is boiled or not, the cook can immerse his/her right index finger inside the container ( Remember! Only the right hand) . If heat-boils appear on the finger, then you can be assured that the water is indeed boiled.



  1. LOL !!

    I had absolutely no clue that boiling some water required so much work !!!

    happy boiling !

  2. Wow!! I learnt the right way now. Thanks Chris :P

  3. OMG!! This was outright hilarious!!!
    >>5) The audience should clap at this juncture<<
    LOL, ROFL, and whatever comes beyond that!

  4. lol lol lol!

    Ouch! @the finger!

    come check my LOVE post.


  5. Ouch!!

    Dint knw boiling water involved so many steps!!

    still ROFL!!

  6. You forgot ..put the water in a bucket ..mix some cold water ... test temperature by immersing unhurt finger get out ur pedicure set ;)..the audience shud clap again

  7. LOL!!! UMMMMMM I think I would have to take you out to dinner. you are like really Dangerous in the Kitchen! hahahaha

  8. Chance-ae illa!!
    I will tell my husband to refer ur blog to learn cooking.. er..boiling water! ;-)

  9. Now I am confident of boiling water, it was very useful..expecting the match stick procedure next time!!!

  10. come and pick up ur award :)


  11. very funny!
    and you missed electric stove :D

  12. I thought i couldnt cook.. but after knowing that boiling water is also considered cooking and that it takes so much of effort... i can gladly say

    "I CAN COOK"

    But wounding the finger is the scary part... :(

    can u please come up with matchsticks and lighter post soon... u see i need to learn them first ;)

  14. thts a strategic fotograph! u just abt cut of the cleavage u u uuu..

  15. lol..reminds me of a fwd i got recently...

    "y is FIRE engine RED in color?
    Ans:FIRE engine has a LADDER.LADDER has STEPS.STEPS r to b climbed on FOOT.FOOT is to b measured by a RULER.RULER can b a KING or QUEEN.ELIZABETH is the QUEEN of ENGLAND.ELIZABETH is also the name of a SHIp which sails on WATER. WATER has FISH in it.FISH has FINS.FINS r d people of FINLAND.The national FLAG of FINLAND is RED.Hence FIRE engine is RED in color....

    Apparently this is the ENGINEERING STUDENT'S pattern f writing the exam..."

    Felt like urs is the ENGINEER's pattern of cooking :P

  16. thought i had read all your posts :) random post helps..

  17. i will never ever say to my Sure "just boil water"... never stopped to think how tricky a procedure it is...

  18. anganeyo...........engil kollam!!!

  19. You are ROFL stark raving mad!! And I've got the laughs now! HAAHHA! The burnt finger was the icing on the cake...boiled water! :D

  20. for those who are on the run and can't wait so long and are not experienced enough to boil water precisely
    we can also buy a readymix available in the market you only have to add boiling water to it but if you want the same old flavor and the recipe to be authentic then follow chronicwriter's procedure


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