1) Your English is pathetic. ( Tell this line in a serious tone, with a raised eye brow. You will never see that he/she bugging you after that)
2) The amount of beer that I have gulped is more than the volume of liquid that you would have peed in your whole life. ( Lines like this and few other dialogues that were used on my juniors in college days might be the reason behind me being suspended from college on two occassions. I am Innocent though)
3) Dealing with Lousy Language
After my engineering days, I happened to meet a couple of my childhood friends who returned to India after completing their graduation in US of A.We met at a coffee Joint and our conversation started.Their names were Sharon and Rhea.(Original names)
Sharon & Rhea : Hey chrissy.. Howideee.. ssup mayn.. you look pathetic... kick##$... F*** #$%...
I was amazed at their vocabulary skills that had the F word almost in the beginning and end of every sentence.They were using it as if it was their birth right.
Me:I am doing good. How is life? ( Same old startup line. I am pathetic. I know)
R&S: Dood. Like is Su #$% Ol$$ Fu#$%** RhO##$
Me : Why do you have to use the F word, every now and then? Do you think that the sentence is incomplete without it?
S&R: Are you living in the stone age mayn...F$%#... #$%%... M$$%%... Even school kids use these words these days... Grow up Doooood...Get a grip hunney... You are talking like an uncivilised barbarian who doesn't know about theF#$%#$$ big world...$%%...C#$%...
They gave me a ten minute lecture on my orthodox nature, and I did not have a way to stop them; and finally when I found it was going no where, I thought of ending up the conversation.
Me: I am not civilized yet.. I agree.. But people of noble birth do not have to use the F word to convey the message across. Also back in my place, Only hookers use such language.......
(I met them again after two years,recently and now they are uncivilized ;just like me. )
4) Go Home, Drink some milk and hit bed baby.( A usual liner to snub the smart donkeys)
5) But I have not found a way to snub the Fart machine- "My adjacent cubicle mate"..
Anyone care to give me some idea?