I have taken scripture classes for kids between age groups 4 to 6 and believe me it was a horrible time for me.Now I take sunday school scripture classes for teenage boys and it is very easy to tackle them. I have even gone to the extent of crying when i handled the little menaces.
If I have to start writing about them, I have to state their names too.
Ashwin- Age 6
Neha - Age 6
Steven - Age 4
Nila -Age 4
Anju - Age 5
Rexy - Age 5
( As a personal safety measure I have purposefully changed their names)
The sunday service starts at 8 am and ends at 9.30 am. After the service gets over, I take sunday classes for these kids for an hour. The whole one hour is like a battling in troubled waters experience for me. I have tackled the strongest of guys, the meanest of cannibals, the notorious lecturers and the sarcastical comments that have hit me. But I have never found the answer to these kids.I sit in a corner of the church and these kids sit in a semi circle facing me. All these six pests are different in their own ways.
Nila, the youngest of them all is the cutest of the lot. She has rosy cheeks and a pair of dimples that are similar to that of preity zinta's. She can melt Idi Amin's heart with her smile. But she does not use her smile in my class. She has this extreme capability to cry from 9.30 am to 10.30 am. All the other sunday class teachers look at me scornfully as if I am the reason behind her crying.
Steven, another young kid is a confused guy. He asks questions that leave you cry like Roger federer. He asks wrong questions at the wrong time. There was this lady who sat behind my class and admiring the kids and their naughty nature. I have not seen her before. She might have been in her mid thirties. Steven suddenly blurted out ," Uncle, Is that aunty your wife?". I turned around and she gave me a dirty stare.My face turned Blue just like Muthiah Muralidharan's face when he bowls. I looked around. Every one were looking at me.She left the place immediately. The kids started giggling and that was not the end. He bowled another bouncer at me by asking ," Uncle ! Are you a girl or a boy?"
Rexy is a very calm girl. She speaks very less. But she does it all through her actions. One day Ashwin started crying out loud. Rexy was found biting his lower back. I really do not know why she chose such a strategic position to bite. I thanked God that Ashwin was not facing her when she was performing her biting act. I had to take the little one to the hospital.
Talking about Anju; she can never sit in one place.I often end up running behind her during class hours.So in order to make her sit in one place, I give her chocolates. She often complains to her parents that uncle doesnot know anything in the Bible( Uncle is me according to her).
Last but not the least is Neha. This little pest is a terrorist. You can often find her eating the wax crayons, tearing the notebooks, writing on the church walls,sarcastically laughing at me when i narrate a story as if I am a liar and sometimes complaining to others that i pinched her.She talks about movies and movie songs and spoils all the kids in my class and all the kids would start singing together and if their parents ask them where they learnt the song from they boldly answer that they learnt it in my class.
I bore all their tantrums for one whole year. But one incident made me to take the decision of not taking classes for kids ever again in my life.The reason was this lovely devil," Ashwin".
Ashwin, the eldest of them all is the most unpredictable. He is very good in mathematics just like me and you can never predict what he is about to say. Once I was taking classes for these kids and I was narrating the story of "Noah and his ark", when suddenly this little one starts playing inky pinky ponky. I was baffled at what he was upto. So I let him finish the whole game. Finally he shouted " Chriz uncle! You are the culprit". I was very angry for two reasons
1. He calling me an uncle.
2. He calling me a culprit.
But I should have negleted him; controlled my anger and changed the topic. Instead I let him talk by asking him, "Why do you call me a culprit?" in one of my most threatening tones. He was indeed threatened.But he never showed any sign that he was scared ( A trait that he must have acquired from me).He continued. You are the ONE, uncle. I asked him again," What?Who? Me?"( Now in a gentle tone). He shouted at the top of his voice," Uncle! You farted!!!". ( I assure to my blog readers that I was not the culprit that time).
Kids! I am really scared of them.