Tuesday, June 29, 2004

19."Bubbly"-The Trail Blazer

Do not follow where the path may lead
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I really did not understand the meaning of the above said quote for a very long time. But my pet dog Bubbly helped me in understanding the real meaning of Ralph's words. Bubbly became a part of my life in the year 1992.

He came home as a three week old puppy.He cried for three days because he was not willing to accept me as his master. I was scared of dogs too( who cares, if it was a puppy?). But finally we became friends when Bubbly bit a portion of my newly bought action shoes. From that day onwards Bubbly and me used to share the same bed.I never bothered sharing my bed with him. Infact I used it as an advantage. As the little innocent kid in me had the habit of bed wetting, I could easily blame it on bubbly for the effort produced.

Coming back to the Quote: Bubbly never followed anyone; He loved to be followed. This was evident from the various chases me and my dad had undertaken to bring our bubbly back to our home sweet home.Bubbly always had this habit of running away from home. He was a true champion of sorts.Once the gate is open, he will start off and he will run like crazy into the streets. He is indeed brave like his master( that is me).Once a rooster( The usage of a similar term is avoided as the author is abiding with blogger tems and conditions) scared Bubbly, and as he followed in my footsteps, he knew what non- violence was and he ran away from the rooster, thus saving himself and helped in not bringing any disgrace to his brave master.

Bubbly always had this habit of sniffing on neem trees during his escapades and to add to the spice he used to do some stretching exercises. The stretching exercises range from raising his left leg and placing it on the bark of the tree and showering the tree with gratitude, to squating in front of the tree like a true warrior and performing the metabolic activity.He always left a trail behind for others to follow.

But everyone learns from experiences. On one such occassion, Bubbly was doing his stretching exercise on a neem tree when suddenly he started screeching like Britney Spears and ran back home. Bubbly could not walk properly for that whole day. I was surprised to see such a reversal of incidents. Bubbly never ever showered on a neem tree. I did not know the exact reason for such a change in his attitude. So after a week I went near the neem tree to inspect the area to find what exactly has effected such a change in his behaviour. I soon found how Bubbly had learnt his lesson.

Lesson learnt by Bubbly: Never ever shower a tree which is inhabited by a woodpecker.

Monday, June 28, 2004

18.Things I love

Things I Love ...

1)Having a firm handshake. ( But never try it with people who have strong hands like balboa)
2)Looking at people in the eye. ( In case of unclean eyes, this is not mandatory)
3)Singing in the shower. ( Singing should be accompanied by taking a proper bath)
4)Always accept an outstretched hand. ( You might need a hand someday)
5)Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. (I live by this mantra)
6) Brush your teeth/Take a bath/Comb Your hair - Daily (Will such a day ever come?)
7)Lend only those books you never care to see again.(I want my readers digest collection back)
8)When playing games with children, let them win. (But they never let me win)
9)Be romantic. (I am always romantic. Ask Renu or refer to my previous posts)
10)Don't allow the mobile phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's. (Please switch it off in a movie hall)
11)When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go. (No one hugs me)
12)Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born. ( I will have to work on this)
13)Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. ( Not again)
14)Take charge of your attitude. (Don't let someone else choose it for you.)
15)Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes. (Those few minutes might make a world of difference for them)
16)Begin each day with some of your favorite music. ( My roomie kicking me out of the bed)
17)Once in a while, take the scenic route. ( welcome to Kerala)
18)Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice. Trust me, the person at the other end will feel good... ( Not my Boss)
19)Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.( Last time when I was served bitter guord at my neigbours place, I swallowed it with much difficulty and appreciated the Hosts for a wondeful meal. I was served with thre different varieties of the same dish, the next time I went to have dinner with them)
20)Wave at the children on a school bus. ( It is such a wonderful feeling)
21) Smile at strangers. ( This is best booster for your self confidence)
22) A stranger smiling back at you. ( Nothing can beat this)

I am adding three more on a demand made by a regular blog-buddy

23) Laughing till my sides hurt ( You need to have the right company for this)
24) Lying down on the couch and watching a movie on relationships.
25) Dancing for hours at a stretch
(If your dance partner does not have two left legs, then you would just go on and on...)


Sunday, June 27, 2004

17.A Kiss to remember

A small peck on the cheek...
A wet moisure effect on the forehead...
A warm Hug...
A deft pat on the back...
A quick pinch of the cheek...
A firm grasp of the palms...

Emotions are expressed in many ways. But I am gonna write about the Kiss that I can never forget in my whole life. It was the year 1996. I was in class ten. Renu was also in class ten too. We had this tradition in school that at the beginning of every academic year, the whole class would go on a Tour to some Hill resort. This year we went to Kulu-Manali.

We went in a train till Chandigarh and then boarded a Bus to Manali.For a major part of the journey, Renu and me sat in the same seat with Shabir sitting between us.( for those who have not read through my earlier posts, please note that Renu was my girl in school and Shabir was her Guy). After sometime Renu was uncomfortable because she did not want Shabir to act as a separating line between me and her. So she stood up and went and sat opposite to us in the train.I started admiring her eyes, her nose, the curly locks that fell in place on her dimple cheeks,the small mole behind her ear, her picture perfect eyelashes and the chain ( do not get carried away, cos the chain i saw was not the one which she was wearing but the chain that stops the train).

She coughed once; and the romantic gentleman within me woke up and offered to help her. Immediately I took my water bottle and offered it to her. She wanted to take it from me. But she was so shy to reveal her feelings that she took the waterbottle from Shabir and drank from it.Shabir smiled at her and she smiled back at him.I instantly knew that she was faking a smile at him cos she already lost her heart to me. Time just flew away and soon we were in Manali.
The climate was very cold and we went around and visited many places. We were having fun at that part of the world; Renu also gave me a glance or two now and then,cos according to her, I was her world.

Soon the day was over and we went to the dorm where we were supposed to slumber.To our astonishment we found that there were not enough beds in the boys dorm, and so three of the boys were selected on strict random basis to sleep in the girls dorm.I was one among the three. We were given a strict orders not to misbehave and we were led to the girl's dorm. We guys were given a three stack bed; and I occupied the top stack. Renu was lying in the top stack of the bed which was adjacent to the bed provided to us.To be precise Renu and me were pretty close.A frog jump from her bed would be enough for her to reach my bed.

Soon the lights were switched off and there were complete silence. I could not sleep. How can I? What if Renu falls down from the top stack?But as we had a tiring day, I slowly shut my eyes.But suddenly I heard someone sneaking, and I opened my eyes to see what was happening around. Renu got down from her bed. I immediately closed my eyes to see what would happen.(BTW, how could I see if i closed my eyes? Ans: They say that love is blind.)Soon I could feel someone climbing my bed and I lay still without any reaction. She came closer to me and whispered in my ears. It was such a lovely voice. I really did not know what she conveyed. But her voice was so sweet.

Suddenly the unexpected happened. She locked her mouth with mine and before I could react she went wild and gave me a love bite. I was startled and opened my eyes.Renu was sleeping peacefully in her bed. But who could it be? I quickly got down from the bed and went to the loo to check my lips in the mirror. When I took a closer look, I discovered a female mosquito in a fatal condition between my lips. But why did it die? On second thoughts I realised that I did not brush my teeth that day.

Message to Blog readers: Brush your teeth regularly.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

16.My First Experience

Disclaimer: Child Guidance(CG) required for the perverted minds

First experiences are always worth remembering for a lifetime. Being around in this world for quite a while, I have had many many experiences. All these experiences have a first time and many of us will cherish our first experience.

The prelude to my first experience took place due to an incident i saw when I was class 2. My school day nemesis,"Shabir"used to sit near me in class. On that fateful day we had our mathematics class test.Being a guy with exceptional talent in mathematics, I always scored well. But Shabir was always one step ahead of me. If I scored 95, He would score 96. I tried my level best every time to score better than him, but he outshone me everytime.That was one reason why "Renu" always liked him. ( But I knew for sure that she loved me with all her Heart; But did not have the courage to tell me).

Coming back to the test; I wanted to find the secret formula that Shabir used in studies that made Renu fall for him. The test started and we started answering. I answered all the questions correctly but for one tricky question. Shabir too could not answer the question. Just then I remembered the advice that my Granny gave me some time back. " Granny's advice: In times of crisis, Close your eyes and pray to God"
I followed Granny's advice and still coulnot find the solution for the problem. I took a look at Shabir to find what he was upto. He did something that astonished me. He looked to his right.Immediately I looked somewhere else so that he doesnot come to know that I was looking at him.Then he looked to his left and he made sure that no one was looking at him.Slowly he pulled his short-trousers up a little bit and admired his thunder thighs for sometime and in no time , he started writing the answer for the question.His Granny might have injected a bigger advice for him.Even I wanted to do the same thing. So I pulled my trousers up a little bit and admired my chicken-thighs for sometime. But before I could get the answer, the class bell rung and the test was over. As always Shabir scored well.But I did not lose heart,because I found the trick for his success.

Days went by and we were in Class six,and I wrote exams after exams revealing my shiny thighs. It worked once because both me and Shabir got same marks for an exam. Renu never used to perform well in her exams. So one day I went to her when she was alone and wanted to help her by showing the trick only me and Shabir knew all this while. I sat next to her and looked into her eyes and patted my left thigh and got her attention. I knew instantly that she was madly in love with me. I thought it was the right time to teach her the trick and showed her my thigh.Renu screamed out loud and ran out of the class .She never talked to me that whole year.I have heard that love is blind. But in our case, love made her dumb towards me.

One day the teacher saw Shabir writing his exams and suddenly started hitting him.Only then we came to know that Shabir had written all the mathematical formulae on his thighs.The blind faith I had all these years finally dawned on me. From that day onwards I stopped revealing my thighs when i wrote exams. Soon I was in class 7 and new students joined our class. They used latest techniques in copying.

Some of the techniques were

1) Peeping into other's papers and writing the same answers ( Just like one good soul who forwarded my own blog-post to me with his signature)
2) Writing the answers in the steel ruler
3) Writing the answers in small bits of paper and keeping them between the answer sheets and copying
4) Tearing pieces of paper from the text books and copying from them
5) Writing the answers in a small paper and hiding it in the socks.

Of all these techniques I liked the 3rd one the most. I wanted to implement this technique atleast once and soon I got the opportunity for the same. The mid-term exams came. It was Science exam. I was very good in science. But still, I wrote the answers in small bits of paper and took them along with me to the exam hall. I strategically placed the bits of paper between the answer sheets and started copying with high precision. I showed complete mastery in the art of copying. None of the teachers had the slightest of doubts. I finished the exam and felt a sense of satisfaction.I had just done a class Act. Next day morning, the School Principal met me.

Lessons learnt:

1) The world does not appreciate your brilliance
2) I could not sit properly for a week.( My bum was pampered to glory by the principal)
3) While submitting the paper, care should be taken that you do not attach the bits along with answer paper.


Thursday, June 24, 2004

15. Coming Up Attractions.

Coming Up this week...

1) My first experience!!!

2) A Kiss to remember!!!

3) KIDS - " The Devils in Disquise"

4) Does size matter?

5) Mandira Bedi - " The New Indian Cricket Coach"

Will let my thinking cells do the rest...

Do peep in to my blog regularly so that you don't miss out on the live action...

First person to post comments will receive free tickets to Singapore at their own cost...

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

14.The Surprise Adventure.

This morning i got a call from a schoolmate of mine. He had met with an accident and broke his arm. Talking of arms, my 3rd girlfriend had five arms.. Not convincing right?. well .. am not gonna lie about it then.. as a matter of fact , breaking an arm is more or less similar to falling in love.. one of my friend, Mithun Raj broke his hand when the girl he proposed threw a rose at him. Little did he knew that she threw the Rose flower along with the pot. Talking about love , how can i forget my fourteenth girl friend Minu. Well infact theoretically,i was as much committed to her as I was, with my other girls.I even surprised her once by introducing her to Liya, who followed Minu in the hierarchy.I have given lot of surprises to my friends,kith,kin,my ex girlfriends and their boyfriends. But offlate my life has become barren without surprises.

Last Friday, I was travelling to my homeplace in a interstate bus. The seat next to me was not occupied.Born with a tongue that never ceases to blabber, i was eagerly waiting for some poor soul to come and occupy that seat so that i could start a knowledgable conversation. The bus stopped at a bus stop. A beautiful girl with her old grand-dad got into the bus. I knew instantly that she was in love with me cos she caught me staring at her and she gave back a dirty stare( But all romances begin with a dirty stare. so i did not lose heart) . I knew she wanted to sit next to me. But she was so shy. I understood that she ws so sad that she could not sit next to me,cos her grand dad sat next to me.

This old man started a conversation with me. He was talking about how he found it difficult to make both ends meet. Talking about " making both ends meet", i cant forget my friend Santhosh. He was successful in making the ends of a rope meet.But unluckily he met his end, because he inserted his head between the loophole formed by the rope and tried doing bunjee jumping from his fan.Wait!I actually started to write about surprises, but ended up here.Ooops I did it again...

I finally reached my hometown, and immediately my innermind told me that I had to give a surprise to my mom.My mom would go shopping with my neighbour aunt every saturday. I badly wanted to give her a big surprise when she came back home from her shopping.I went into my room and searched for my thinking cap. But alas i left it back in my cabin in office.So i had to settle down with the pillow cover. Here I am sitting in my bed , with my head inside a pillow cover trying to find a way to throw a surprise for my mom.

Finally i zeroed my options down to Two
1) Bring some girl to my place and introduce her to my mom as her future bahooo.
2) Stick a beauty mark on my cheek and dress myself up like an one-eyed thief and scare her.

Applying analytical tools like Annova and Chi-Square,I found that the probability of me dethroned from the post of
Senior II was 0.9999 and hence i went for option number two.I covered myself with my stinking bed sheet(Dunno how I manage to sleep with it every night), and then applied lot of kiwi shoe polish and when I took a look at myself in the mirror, I was surprised to see that I looked better this way. I am a man of action and a great vision. So I wanted the planned mission to be a 100% success.Some old proverb," Practice makes a man perfect", came into my mind; and I started my preparations for the Act. I had a well defined plan designed for this major violent Act.

The plan: I would position myself on top of the coconut tree.The coconut tree is on the left corner of the front portion of my house(outside my house).As soon as my Mom enters the house, I would switch on the music system, which would Play the demonic sound that I have already recorded in it.Then I would swing down Using the Rope that I have tied to the tree and I would land in between my mom and the front door. I practiced this whole plan twice.

After two hours of practice,I was ready for the attack. I saw my Mom approaching our house. I switched on the music system and then I got hold of the rope and dived and landed just in front of my Mom.

Lessons learnt:

1) The television remote control does not activate the music system.
2) Landing on your Feet completes the Act; but if you land on your Bum, chances are that you might get hurt.If the bedsheet completely wraps you, chances are that you might even get thrashed by your Mom.
3) When you get beaten up, chances are that atleast five people are there to witness you; which includes four neigbour BABES.

Monday, June 21, 2004

13.Great babies have Great Uncles

Long Long ago, Very long ago;somebody, somewhere told someone,something that changed someone's life for ever. I dunno who that Somebody was, neither do i know any detail about that some one. Again I dunno where that somewhere is!.But I surely know, what that something is all about!This something went on to become the greatest ever proverb recorded in history.
"something"->Great Babies have Great Uncles

The Two smart men in the above picture are a father- son duo. The one on the right to the person on the rightside of the picture is the junior and the person to his left is his dad. The one without teeth is the son and the one with teeth is his dad.Jeremy and Johnny are their names respectively.
Talking about Jeremy, I should admit that he is a great baby indeed. He will turn three this september.Jeremy follows in the footsteps of his great Uncle, Senior II. No wonder they say that Great babies have great Uncles.
Here is a list of common traits that can be seen between the "Great Baby"(Jeremy) and the "Great Uncle"(That is me).
1) I used to pee in bed till I was in class 5. ( Stop laughing!, cos my engineering roomie Andrew even pees in his bed now).
Jeremy has made a vow that he will pee in his bed till he turns 5.

2) I used to steal the hearts of all the babes in college ( Atleast in my dreams).
Jeremy is a master stealer himself. When I carry him around , all the babes come near us and start pinching his cheeks.

3) When I flunked in an exam for the first time ever in my life ( first mid term in kindergarden), I was so cheeky, that I went missing from home for two long hours. My dad finally found me hiding in the waste basket.
Jeremy also is an expert in hiding. Last Christmas, " Baby Jesus" went missing from the manger crib. My sister ,( Jeremy's Mom) found "Baby Jesus" in frozen state after he went missing for four months." Baby Jesus" was found deep inside the freezer section of the refrigerator.

4) The great Uncle and the Great baby have mastered the art of smiling even in times of adversity. Back in college, when all my three girlfriends found that I was three timing them,( someone told that two-timing is a bad habit) I smiled like a true warrior, without showing any signs of fear.
Jeremy has also mastered this art. He soils his nappies and smiles as if nothing has happened. My eighth sense says that he is performing this act when the above pcture was taken.

5) My childhood hero was "Dennis the menace"
Jeremy's hero is " Calvin"
Are not Calvin and Dennis, first cousins?


Sunday, June 20, 2004

12.Introducing Real Life Characters

When i was a small boy, i used to read the " All in the Family" cartoon strip which used to appear in the front page of "The Hindu".... Now as a grown up guy, ( mentally atleast, if not in stature) I am planning to use real life characters in my blog. These characters include my folks back home and My Close Circle of friends

1)Senior = My dad ( Am not gonna call myself junior. I'd rather call myself Senior II. It would be like king James I,II,II and so on....)

2)Mrs.Senior = My mother( I would often refer to her as my first girlfriend. BTW her first boyfriend's name is David(Senior). David's son's name is Chriz ( Senior II), and my first girl's name is Shobana) (I am just checking whether you guys are reading this post carefully or not)

Trivia:Dad is a scientist and he designs rockets and stuff. If You wanna have a great discussion on rocket propulsion and space technology, we have an In-House consultant in place. He Heads the liquid propulsion plant of India.

Mrs.Senior is not an architect, neither does she build any houses. But still she is a home maker.
3) Preetha and Johnny. ( Preetha happens to be my Second girlfriend and she is also the first child of the Davids... Johnny married Preetha in 2003 and thus he became my Brother-in-LAW. Talking about law, i flunked in my law paper in my MBA).

Trivia:Preetha and Johhny are in Sunnyvale,California.BTW, Me and Preetha are siblings.

4)Jeremy David and Jolena Annika
( Do they sound like some Hollywood characters?... Hold on.. Jeremy is my Nephew and Jolena is his sister and so she becomes my niece).Jeremy will be three this september and Jolena will be three months this August.Did i tell you that Preetha and Johhny are the parents of these kids?

Trivia:Jolena is my God child and so I am her God father ( Brando-Alpacino and Puzo!!!, plz bear wimme)

More characters will be included in due course of time (apart from Renu and Shabir ).

(These would include living creatures from my school days, engineering days, days in chennai /pondycherry /cochin/nagercoil/Trivandrum/China...)