Nov 29, 2017

920. Idli Mondays

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The breakfast menu at home was standard during my childhood. My mom would make idlis on Mondays. I used to hate Mondays not just because of school, but also because of the idlis I was supposed to have for breakfast.

We always had Idli for breakfast on Mondays. I detested them like how many Americans hate the Donald of America. My mother would force me to eat 4 idlis. The most common reaction from me would be a duck face and I would make weird sounds to indicate that I was about to throw up. 

My mom would scream from the kitchen saying that If I vomited the idlis, I would have to still eat them from the floor. All the vomit would immediately put reverse gear and go back inside and rest inside my small intestine.

My mom tried all means to make me eat those dreaded idlis. Sambhar, coconut chutney, groundnut chutney, onion chutney, tomato thokku, sugar and ghee, honey, fish curry, chicken and mutton curry were some of the side dishes that she tried to make me fall in love with idli. But I still hated idlis.

When mom was not seeing me, I would throw the idlis out of the window. But soon she figured out I was doing this when the neighbor lady poattu koduthufied this to my mom. From then on, my mom would shut the window in the dining room to block access for the idlis to trespass in the neighbour's premises.

After that, I started sneaking three idlis into my shorts pocket and after eating one Idli, I would rush to the loo and flush the remaining Idlis down the toilet. But back in those days the Indian toilets sometimes used to act funny. One black Monday, the Idlis clogged the toilet bowl and I was caught. It was the year 1992 and I was in class 5. That is when my pet dog Bubbly came into our lives. He came in like an angel in my life. He would eat all the Idlis I accidentally dropped under the table.

Days passed by and soon I entered college and I was introduced to the college hostel Idli. That is when I realized that the Idlis that were made by mom at home was actually a delicacy. But it was too late of a realization for me. When I was in Singapore for almost 3 years, I had to literally pay close to 7 Singapore Dollars to eat a plate of Idli. Incidents like these taught me the great lesson that home food is the best food in the world and nothing can beat mother's cooking.

Yes, I had Idli for breakfast this Monday too. My wife made it. I ate it with mutton curry. It was nice


Nov 6, 2017

919. The story behind inky pinky ponky

Inky Pinky Ponky 
Father Had a Donkey
Donkey Died Father Cried
Inky Pinky Ponky

All of us would have sung this rhyme at some point of our lives. This rhyme has helped us to take vital decisions in our life.

I used this rhyme when I gave my CAT exams in 2004. When I looked at the question paper, I was literally in tears as I could not decipher anything in that paper. So I resorted to Inky Pinky Ponky and marked all the answers. Eventually I scored good marks and got into a good B school too.

We have used this rhyme to accurately find the farting culprit in our class too. It failed miserably once when I was chosen as the culprit when someone else farted. It was not an embarrassing moment for me. But owning someone else's part was like making me own someone else's belonging. I still have my doubts on Santhosh.

Talking about Santhosh, he used this rhyme to choose Sandhya over Meena. When Meena cried, he stood there grinning without any remorse. After four years of loving Sandhya, she eventually ditched him and married someone else. Santhosh's gmail password is "s@ndhy@140682"

Do you guys know the story behind this rhyme? If you do not know it, this blog will give you the answer. 

A man had three daughters - Inky, Pinky and Ponky. His wife passed away while giving birth to Ponky. These three girls were beautiful girls. The porukki fellows in the town started eve teasing these girls all the time. Hence the father bought a donkey to protect the girls. Once when a guy followed Pinky, the donkey kicked him between his legs and performed vasectomy for him. You can see the guy in the above picture. Soon the news started spreading across the city. The guy's father was so angry that he poisoned the donkey and killed it. As soon as the father of the three girls heard that the donkey had died, he cried bitterly. He was finally left with the three girls. 

The rhyme narrates the tragic story of three girls and their donkey. When William Shakespeare wrote this rhyme, he literally cried when he finished writing this poem. Historical findings reveal that the three girls went on to marry "Tom, Dick and Harry". After all it is not a sad ending. The three couples lived happily ever after.

Note: I searched every where for the story. I could not find it. Hence I decided to create history; because varalaaru matters prime minister. (Modiya sollala)

- Chronicwriter

Nov 5, 2017

918. My love life and Milk Bikis

Renu was the girl I fell for when I was in Kindergarten. I have written about her many a time in this blog. We had a love hate relationship going on between us all through school life. I loved her and she hated me. 

I loved her in every way possible. Even when I knew that she was in love with Shabir ( my villain in school), my love for her never went down by even 1 milligram. 

I would write to her poems, love songs and even followed her to her home every day; but she never showed her love for me. 

I even symbolically left her love hints using Britannia Milk Bikis biscuits. I am not talking about the useless checkered design Milk Bikis that we get these days. I am talking about the old Milk Bikis biscuits that had the word "Britannia" embossed in each biscuits.

I would first bite off the edges and then eat each letter one by one. But I would never eat the letter "R". That is how much I loved Renu. I used to collect all the "R"s and store it in a plastic box. After a year many "R"s got fungal attack ( symbolical representation of how Renu felt for me). That did not deter me from still adding more R in that box.

One day, my mom saw the box and saw all the "R"s and she got irritated and hence fed those biscuits to our dog Bubbly. I was so angry with my mom that I did not eat food at home for one whole day. But the next day, I was hungry and so I started eating food at home again.


Nov 3, 2017

917. The science behind Burps

A Jelly fish's mouth is also its anus. So throwing up and pooping are similar activities for a jelly fish. What is more weird to notice is the fact that the burp of a jelly fish is also its fart. 

At least for human beings we can differentiate between a fart and a burp. My friend Anand used to say that a fart is a burp that forgot its direction. 

Do you know that a person can let out a silent fart; but cannot burp silently. This makes us arrive at the much important question 

" Does Jelly fish fart silently?" 

If the answer is yes, then would not it also mean that it is a silent burp? So going by the principle that one cannot let out a silent burp, we can conclude that jelly fish cannot fart silently. 

Talking about Burps, my classmate Santhosh's burp stinks so much that we always have a doubt whether he farted or burped. 

As burps always come out with a noise, he was never able to blame it on any one else too. He got caught all the time. 


Nov 2, 2017

916. Missing - Royal Stag Whiskey

I found this bottle of Royal Stag whiskey in Tiruvanmayur beach this morning. I clicked this picture to write a blog on it so that this bottle reaches its owner safe and sound. I understand that it is an irresponsible act on the part of the owner to leave a full bottle of whiskey at the beach. But I also believe that a misplaced object should be sent back to its rightful owner. Please share this blog as much as you can till the owner sees this.  Can you please this do this help and make our country a better place to live in?

But my friend Vidhyashankar just reminded me that may be the bottle wanted to be alone as he is a STAG. He has a strong point too. But I don't want to leave him alone.


Nov 1, 2017

915. She added me for something more than friendship

When I get a friendship request on FB, I usually check the profile of the person before accepting the request from them. People who send friendship requests fall under the following categories
  1. My relatives
  2. My friends
  3. My blog friends
  4. Professional network
  5. Church and Spiritual circle
  6. Music and arts circle
  7. Fake IDs
  8. Fraansheep requests
I have got "7" many a time and it has been fun to chat with such people. Kondaiya maraika theriyaadha fellows.

This morning, when I woke up, I got a friendship request from a girl. I checked her profile and found that we had a few mutual friends. I presumed that she might belong to the music and arts circle. I added her. As soon as I add people, I would ask about them. So I started with the cliche question "Who is this" ( All the grammar nazis would be now pouncing on me to tell me that I missed the question mark in that sentence) and this is how our conversation went

Pudhusu pudhusa kelamburaangaley. I unfriended her immediately. She added me for something more than friendship.


Oct 31, 2017

914. The puppy shame man

When Hemu touches something it turns into a piece of art. I have always wondered how she finds time to do all that she does. She dances, sings, paints and does somersaults too. If you want to get your butt kicked, you can try to pick up a fight with her.

When I am down and lazy, I always go to her blog for inspiration. This is a picture drawn by her. I don't understand what this is. I thought that this was a man sitting in puppy shame posture. I am glad that he is just showing his back.

When I looked at this picture for sometime, I was inspired and the inspiration started flowing from every pore of my body. The poser, painter and photographer inside me woke up and all of them immediately wanted to showcase their talent. I allowed the poser and the painter to showcase their talent; but asked the photographer to go back to sleep. [Where would I go for a Mark 3? He is a high maintenance fellow]

First the poser

I did not want to pose without clothes. Not because I have any maanam, soodu or soranai. But because I was lazy to shed my clothes. The only difference from Hemu's painting and the poser picture is that you can also see my right hand.

Secondly- the painter

I searched for the painting brush and the water color box. My daughter Anya did not allow me to touch her water color kit. All I could get was a ball point pen and a rough note book. That did not block me from showing my painting (read drawing) skills. As(s) the "W" that I drew was more glamorous than the "w" that Hemu had painted, I decided to add a censorship certificate too

My friend just pinged me and told that the character in the painting is not a guy. Adhu ponnaa?

Follow Hemu's art world to see many more of her artistic wonders.

- Chronicwriter

Oct 24, 2017

913. Rasathi, Hotel California and Country Roads.

If you had read this blog, you would have known that our band performed a few western classic songs at Aegam Decor Cafe. We did not do a video recording of the performance. But our friends who came to the cafe did record some songs on their mobile phones. Presenting to you three songs that we sang that evening.

Seraph is my sister and she sang Atlast, Feeling good, words, Hotel California Valerie and few other classic songs. I covered Lucky lips, Bachelor boy, Diana, Ten guitars and my own composition. We also sang a couple of duets that included "Country roads". You can listen to that song in the above video. 

Many would argue saying that Hotel California is a satanic song. I have done enough background work to know the authenticity of that claim and when I was strong in my conviction that it was not a satanic song, we decided to sing the song. 

I also ended up covering my favorite Tamil band "Kurangan's song - Rasathi". Infact I killed it (literally kola pannitein) with my own add ons. I hope Kaber and Tenma don't thuppufy on me for ruining their song ( The video opens with that song).

Do check the video. I warn you that this is just a compilation of clips taken from mobile phones. So do not expect a 4K quality from it.


Oct 23, 2017

912. Old man on the sidewalk

Old man on the sidewalk, Who art thou?
You look frail and sad and do not even have a pillow to rest your head

Old man on the sidewalk, What is your bank balance?
A dirty pink towel, a plastic bag with two papers and a shirt and a pair of slippers

Old man on the sidewalk, Where is your house?
It is drizzling now and you might catch a cold

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you have a family?
A place you can call home, where there is fun and laughter

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you dream?
Of having a bed for yourself and someone to take care of yourself

Old man on the sidewalk, Why are you here?
Is not there an old age home where you can at-least find some rest

Old man on the sidewalk, Do you have a story?
About your childhood, teenage, youth life and your adulthood

Old man on the sidewalk, Who art thou?
The night is gonna end and you will keep on moving

Dedicated to all the homeless people around the globe. They do have dreams too; but may not have a roof over their head. I do not know what happened to the man in the picture; this might be just a picture which I got from the internet. May be the old man has a home now or may be he is still in some side walk. When you see someone like them, please do help them according to your capacity.


Oct 22, 2017

911. The Arjun Sampath technique of answering a question

I request all the engineering students to take a closer look at the man in the picture. He will inspire you to clear your exams with ease. Clearing all papers to get an Engineering degree is not an easy joke these days. I have been there; felt pain during my exams, beaten to pulp by Engineering mathematics; but eventually rose like a phoenix bird to finally clear my papers to get my Engineering degree.

Some of the papers, that give heart attacks for Engineering students are
  • Mathematics papers (M3 and M4 are dangerous terrorists)
  • Field theory
  • Vera enna varumnu theriyalaiyae. Andha azhagula Engineering degree vaangirukurein ( Power of Madras University)
But there is one paper that can give you piles because of the number of attempts one takes to clear the paper. It is the mighty DSP (Digital Signal Processing). It is also called as "Degree Stopping Paper". It has single handedly blocked many engineering students from sitting for campus interviews.

I somehow cleared this paper with ease. I still do not know a single thing from that paper. Yesterday when I watched Arjun Sampath's debate style, I turned to my wife and said 
"Honey! This is how I cleared my DSP paper. I never knew a single thing in that paper. But still I remember standing up and asking for 12 additional sheets of paper to fill the sheets with my answers. For one ten mark question, I even answered with a film review about the movie Sethu. Three extra sheets were used for that question". 
She gave me a dirty stare. Good that I did not reveal her the marks I got for that paper. 87 out of 100. Check this video to see Arjun Sampath's debating skills and understand how he handles all questions with ease.

I just got hold of a DSP question paper. One sand also I did not understand. Do you understand anything from the picture below? Even if you know the answer, please keep quiet. Do not put vetti scene. Just remember that I have got 87 marks out of 100 for the same paper. So please show some respect.

No one has yet understood the Duckworth Lewis method. Similarly no one will ever understand Arjun Sampath's method of answering a question. I would love to see Arjun Sampath being interviewed by Arnab Gowsami. TRP egiridum.