Written by Chriz in ,


500. Menaka is a Hot Chick indeed

Men are lovers of flesh. Am I making a generalized statement? I might be.

Exceptions are there. Click this [ link ] to see the only man in this world who has the power to control temptation. Yes, No woman can tempt him.

99 % of Road accidents happen due to women showing skin. ~ Source : Nithyananda Publications


So, should all women in India wear a Burka when they walk on the roads? If I say yes to this question, I am pretty sure that all the women in this country will start to hate me. Not just women, the men will also hate me.

Two days ago, my friend Stephen rang me up and said, "Hey Chriz! Tomorrow, I am going to a village called Karisalampatti in Interior Tamil Nadu with a group of friends. I want you to join us"

" Why do you want me to join you all?"

" The Village is very beautiful and it is green and lush and the climate is beautiful"

" That sure sounds good. But That doesn't catch my attention yet. I can switch on the AC and stay at home and have a great time. Tell me some other reason why i should come"

" The Village has great archaeological importance caves"

" I can watch the same on Discovery Channel"

" Ok we can listen to traditional rural music in the village"

"Not Interested"

" There is a glamaorous chick called Menaka and she is HOT"

"Pick me up on your way to Karisalampatti".

The next day, Stephen picked me on his car and we drove to Karisalampatti. It was a dry place and it was nothing close to what Stephen had mentioned on phone. But we did not mind it. We were waiting to see Menaka. Stephen started to narrate about Menaka and her beauty.

" She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. Though she is married, she still maintains her figure. Her lips are small and cute and she has a lovely neck"

Now we were all eager to see Menaka. Stephen then took us all to Menaka's house. Stephen walked around the house and we all hid behind a bush and he gave us the thumbs up sign indicating that Menaka was all alone in the house. He slowly climbed the wall to see Menaka. He stood there like a statue for a minute. Then slowly he got down and ran to us and said , " She is not wearing anything but an underwear."

"Did she see you?"

"No she did not see me. Come soon. Let us all go and admire her beauty"

We all followed Stephen and climbed the wall and saw the Hot chick Menaka wearing nothing but an underwear.

Click this [ link ] to see Menaka's beauty.

-Chronicwriter

Note : Stephen is no more and we buried him in Karisalampatti.

Did I just post my 500th post?

Written by Chriz in


499. Have you dunnit?

Remember this? The Natraj Pencil which most of us would have used when we were in school! I would use the pencil sharpener to create such flower designs from the pencil wood. Have you dunnit?

This post will take us all back down memory lane.

Have you been a victim of corporal punishment? Kneeling down, Put chair, raising hands, out-standing-student are some of the terms that will flash across many minds. Have you dunnit?


Bed wetting is an International sport of any child. I have played this sport till I was 10 years old. How many of you have played this sport for longer period of time? My college mate Robert used to play this sport even when we were in college.




One of the favorite games for any child is the "hide and seek " game. Most children select the "bed" to hide. I recently played this game with my niece and nephew and I was seeing history repeating itself in front of my own eyes.


If you have not eaten big fun, you have missed the cream of your childhood. The small stamp that has details of cricketers accompanies Big fun bubble gum.  Big fun was the fore runners of the Trump card games.


Cassette tapes and Video cassettes were a part of our life in the 70s,80s and 90s and the children of the present day are missing a great deal in life because of CDS and USBs. How many of you have pulled the tapes out of the cassettes? I used to put a pen inside the cassette hole and used to manually rewind it for my favorite songs.



Parents would say ," Don't play with the electric switch board". But that would not deter us from playing with switches. I have often tried to balance the switch between the ON and OFF position to see when exactly the light goes off. Have you dunnit?




The kindergarten school kids of the present generation start their writing exercises in note books. But during those days, we had a black slate and a small chalk piece. Holding the chalk piece and writing the letter A on the slate would bring a great deal of joy to the mother of the kid.


Bril Ink was a part of  my life during my entire primary, high school and higher secondary school days. One student would lend some drops of ink from one pen to another pen. The inks are also sometimes sprayed on the white uniform shirt of students especially on the last day of school.


Travelling like slaves in auto rickshaws does not end in school. An IT corporate employee still travel in cabs and buses like this. I have traveled like this in an auto rickshaw. We would all fight to sit in the front seat next to the auto rickshaw driver. 




Now , How many among you have played this game. It should be the national sport of India. All you need is a tyre and a small stick. Some of the greatest tyre controllers are 3 year old kids. I have done this. Have you dunnit?






RingAringA Roses... The official girl gang game. Boys also play this game. I really don't know what fun we get from a game where eventually all fall down. But that's the great boon of being a child; you get to have fun on any game that might sound foolish to others.

I feel like playing some game that I used to play when I was a child. What about you? 

Please mention the games you played when you were a child

- Chronicwriter

Written by Chriz in ,


498. All about windows

Windows!

I don't know who coined that word and I don't even know who built the first window. The first window might have been the window in Noah's ark. But I am not sure of the exact purpose with which our forefathers designed and invented windows for.


Now a days Windows are used for many purposes. When I was a little boy, I used to climb the window grill at my house. When my mom chased me around the house to beat me, I would climb the window and   enter the top rack near the roof. The window used to help me a lot. But then we moved to our own house and the architecture of the house was so different. There were no more racks near the roofs and the french windows made it impossible for me to climb.



In 1985 Microsoft launched its operating system and called it Windows. My dad first bought home a computer in the year 1992 and then we had the Windows 3.0 operating system. Now we have a whole garbage of windows versions. Why did they name an operating system as windows? Those who named it will give lot of philosophically right reasons for that name; but they too just named it without a clue. Now windows is famous and lets not bother trying to figure why they named it windows.



If not for windows and keyholes, the peeping toms would never have found a place for themselves on earth. The above line is not true, because a peeping tom would invariably find his own way to take a peek into the personal lives of others. Still who cares? The peeping Toms would be smiling reading this paragraph. For those who do not know what a peeping Tom means ~ don't worry. We all are peeping Toms. How many of us have watched the Nithyananda-Ranjitha romance video on Sun TV and on YouTube?



Moving to a different area, Windows are also used to dry clothes. For many Indian men, the horizontal beam in the window is the official underwear drying spot. You can identify such men by looking at their underwear. When I walk out of my house, I am always greeted by all the clothes that dry at my neighbor's window. Researches show that those who dry their clothes in the window live a long and happy life. 

Windows are also the target for rubber balls by kids. Windows have the magnetic power to attract rubber balls towards them. The windows have played a major role in creating fights between little children and older people.


Windows have also become an integral part of ladies blouses. In olden days, Indian women never wore blouses for sarees. Then they  started wearing blouses. As days went by doors, grills and windows became mandatory designs in the blouses. When I was class 12, my class girls wore sarees only on the final school day function. On that day, we came across many window versions. Even today the window blouses are still very much in use. Some of the blouses with windows have no frames. 

What comes to your mind , when you think of WINDOWS?



-Chronicwriter

Written by Chriz in


497. Yawn

Finally I am awake from a long blog slumber. Yes It was a long sleep. Today, I opened my mail box to see a number of mails from readers who had inquired about the reason for my absence from my blog. Some of the mails reminded me that I used to be funny and that I am not funny anymore. Some mails made me happy because the readers considered me as their daily dose of humor giver. Some mails were from girls who wrote that they are gonna commit suicide because I am not single anymore. There was one guy who had sent his resume to work as HR manager for Chronicwriter incorporation. (Sangamey abaraadhathula odum bodhu ippadi oru letter-a?). Immediately I decided to reply to all the mails. I even thought of coming up with answers for all the emails. Some of the answers were

1) I had too much of sugarcane for pongal and hence was being treated for diabetes

2) I  was waiting for Vijay's nanban movie and was shocked to see him finally do a good performance after 15 years and it took some time to come out of the shock

3) I was screened by Kapil Sibal.


I was thinking of so many answers. But I was pretty sure that people are so smart these days that they would google the answer or wiki the real story from the Internet.Hence I am gonna tell the truth here. 

Wikipedia has been a villain to me for many years. When ever I come up with a story, someone will say ,"Chriz, you are so wrong because wiki tells a different story". I got so angry with wikipedia and decided to block wikipedia for one day. Yes Wikipedia will be blocked today (18 Jan 2012) through out the world.


The engineers at wikipedia tried their level best to resolve the issue. Soon they found that I blocked wikipedia. Hence they gave up the fight and came up with a poster saying that  Wikipedia will be shut down for a day to fight against anti piracy. Now all the school kids, college students and working professional around the globe will suffer on 18th January. So 18th january can also be announced as a world holiday. Okay Let me cut the non-sense here and write something useful here

Where shall I start this post now. Ok lemme first wish everyone a Happy New year. 2012 will be a year when the mayan calendar would be put to shame. The Mayans never knew that we have super star Rajnikanth. His son-in-law Dhanush's song "Why this kolaveri di" has become a viral phenomenon across the globe. My house maid hums this song when ever I give her some extra work. Dhanush has become an international star now. The problem with super hit songs is that you will like the song the first few days and after a point of time, when everyone starts singing the song and when you start hearing it everywhere you start disliking the song. Kolaveri has reached that level. It has more hits than any Michael Jackson youtube uploads. I am glad that Rajnikanth did not sing the song. If so, it would have become the national anthem by now.

By the way, I have put on weight. Yes my wife cooks well and now I have a pot belly too. More posts about married life will be posted this year. It is a slow and late start to the year and I started this post with a yawn. It is gonna be a great year indeed. Will I ever write about Renu in the future? I have to ask my wife's permission for the same.

Now I have written a post for the sake of opening my account in 2012. Every new year post should have a message for the audience and the following picture conveys the message for all of us.


Be good and stay safe and have a wonderful year.

-Chronicwriter

Written by Chriz in ,


496. Your Typing style reveals your mood.

When I was three years old, I wrote my first love letter to my kindergarten girlfriend Renu. The letter was confiscated by my teacher and she told that I would become a writer in future. Her prediction has come true. To read my first love letter click here [link]

Over the years , I have come across people speaking in different styles of English. Some speak in a way that people like me can understand. Some use complicated sentences and sophisticated language and make it hard for people like me to understand. Some have pathetic English and some kill the language by speaking in a manner thinking that they sound cool. I have admired some of them for their skills and some of them make me laugh.

When Mobile phones came into the market, the art of texting came into existence. English was redefined. People tried their level best to communicate in fewer letters and thus gave birth to the new word Text-Language. With the advent of Social Networking sites, everyone have started to communicate with everyone through these networks. In those days, everyone communicated face-to-face and through voice; but these days ~ majority of communication happens via FB comments.

When people used to talk face to face, we could understand their emotions from the words they use and from their facial reactions and from their non verbal signals and also from their past record. But when a person converses with us via social media; especially through typing, it becomes very difficult to understand what mood they are in. But after spending 12 years in social media starting from yahoo messenger's ASL, I have found a way to find the mood of the person based on his/her typing style. My findings are given below.

Consider this sentence :-

"I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday "

Now let us identify the mood of those who use the above sentence based on how they type the sentence. Some of the sentences will even reveal the gender of the person.


I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday - Normal Mood

I wud lyk 2 sae dat I hd a wndrfl burthdayyy - Definitely a girl ( Teen Mood)

I WoUlD LiKe tO SaY ThAt I HaD A WoNdErFuL bIrThDaY - a Girl who had a paralytic attack while typing the line

I would like to sayki thatki I had a bahuth wonderful birthday - if this person is a girl, her character is very similar to Rakhi Sawant's. If this person is a boy, he is just another north Indian boy

I'd like - This person is suffering from dysentery.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT I HAD A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY - This one is very angry. No body gave any gift

♥I wud like to say that I hada super duper fantabulous yummy cake and love you all those who made my day special with those gifts and hugs to all ♥ - This is a girl. The ♥ reveals the gender of the person. Now many boys have started using the heart symbol too.


My Happy birth day was fine - Simple men and Old aunties
 
Machi open the bottle - Our Tamil Kudimagans.
 - Chronicwriter