348. tom, DICK & harry

I have nothing against the Real Madrid football club. They have this wonderful knack of picking the world's best strikers in their side. These strikers are then made to warm the benches and finally their football career will end in a disaster. They play the 4-2-3-1 formation and they have 14 of the best strikers in the world to fill the spots.When a football fan learns that Kaka, Ronaldo, Benzema, Robben, Snejder, Raul and Higuin play for the same club he would surely believe that there is no team to beat them. But over the years, the club has always disappointed me by going for poor team selection. The latest to join the great club is Christiano Ronaldo. Girls would go GA-GA over his looks.I thought that he made the wrong choice when he joined the club but when he started dating Paris Hilton, I realised that joining the club is a lot better decision.

Paris Hilton, the 28 year old spoilt girl of a Rich father who runs a hotel business has been in the news for all the wrong reasons.She created a big fuss when Britney Spear's eleven month old Baby Jayden James touched her breast. You can clearly see in the picture that the baby is not doing the crime on purpose. But Paris started crying and she had to be consoled by her BFF. This was the same Paris Hilton who filmed her own experimental videos with her Guy-friends. This is again the same Paris Hilton who was not affected at all when a stranger molested her in a night club [link].

In a far-off Place in India, a woman who is a mixture of Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson is creating emotional News waves, that has even touched the hearts and souls of people living in Antarctica. Her name is Rakhi Sawant. Apparently her parents had performed many meditational and medicational measures and experiments to bring Rakhi into this world. Rakhi Sawant was the first woman in India to act in the Kamasutra-Demonstration video.(Please do not try searching for the video on youtube. The author of this blog has done enough searches with all his imaginative key-search-words and still couldn't find it). Rakhi Sawant is again the same lady who created a big scene when dancer Mika kissed her on her lips. Her latest show on T.V, Rakhi's swayamvar is an attempt by Rakhi to find her right life partner. More than 1 lakh men from India applied for the show with dreams of becoming Rakhi's dream Man. Chronicwriter also sent an application that was rejected on grounds that could not be explained in this blog.

Rakhi's Swayamvar is an emotional thriller that moves everyone. I have watched the show and i found myself with tear drops. Such is the impact of the show. The show is also rated high on the TRP rating scene in India.

“With ratings of 3.5 per cent in cable and satellite homes of the Hindi speaking market, Rakhi Ka Swayamvar is possibly the highest rated show in the recent history of NDTV Imagine,” said Joseph Eapen, director (research), aMap, which measures overnight ratings.

My interest for the show has increased by million folds when i found out that the show is not only an emotional puller but also an informative one. In the last episode of the show Rakhi was talking about Silicon Implants and Silicon Valley. I strongly believe that when she mentioned Silicon Valley she was talking about Information technology and its role in the current economic crunch situation in the world. However my four year old neighbour boy said that she was talking about her cleavage. I argued with him on this subject matter and we have finally agreed to watch this week's show to find the answer.

In the mean time, the Indian High court made a very bold ruling that made the members of India's gay community to celebrate. Yes, Gay marriages were finally legalised in India on 2nd July 2009. The famous quote by Actor,Trey Parker comes into my mind.

You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.

All religious books admonish Sodomy and The Holy Bible also strongly opposes Homosexuality. But still there are many people who like to serve the world as well as their religion. On a spiritual level, no one can serve two masters. I know it sounds like an impractical statement. But the decision is in our hands. Yes we all have freewill and if we believe that we would be judged by God, then we ought to follow religious laws. If we do not believe in it, then it doesn't matter. It all started because of Tom, Dick and Harry. When Harry was taking a nap, Tom pulled down Dick's nappy and curiosity just killed the cat.

-Chronicwriter

347. Solving the Rubik's Cube

The Rubik's Cube is the world's best selling toy. It was invented in the year 1974 by a Hungarian Architect,Erno Rubik. It is also the world's top selling puzzle game.My dad bought me a Rubik's cube when I was a kid and he taught me the technique to solve the puzzle. As a kid, i used to blindly follow the technique and solve the puzzle. But now if someone asks me to solve it, i couldn't because I have forgotten the formula.

The movie-Pursuit of happiness has brought tear drops to my eyes many a times. I could totally relate to Will Smith's characterisation in the movie in many scenes. The Rubik's cube plays a vital part in the life of the Hero of the movie,Chris Gardner. If you haven't watched the movie yet, do watch it soon. It is really a soul touching film indeed.

Coming back to Rubik's cube, I am writing this post to help all my readers to solve the puzzle. If there are winners, there would be losers. A coin has two sides. For every problem there would be a good solution and there would be a bad solution also. So if you could call my solution for the puzzle as the Good solution, then you should know the person behind the bad solution. He is none other than the rear-end of all jokes Mr. George W Bush. He was once asked to solve the puzzle.

He stared at the cube for more than an hour and suddenly called for a press meet in which he made a public statement to the world

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans,again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009.

So I decided to help Mr.Bush on this case and designed a special cube for him to solve. This cube is white in color. Apparently Mr. Bush solved this puzzle in 25 minutes.People who have the IQ of Mr.Bush are requested to solve this puzzle and not to try the original Rubik's cube.

In the mean time Mr.Bush wanted a slightly complicated puzzle to solve. So with the help of two scientists, I came up with a tougher upgrade of the beginner level exclusively for him.

Now as we have made the less IQ people busy by giving them their much needed answer, we would proceed to find the solution for the original Rubik's cube puzzle.

Sometimes in life people discourage us by saying that we can't do certain things in life. They say it because they themselves can't do it. So they try to bog us down too. Never ever listen to what they say. Always follow your heart ( This paragraph is an advice from my alter ego-Mr.X. My alter-ego also saw the movie Pursuit of Happiness along with me. This paragraph is a punctured version of the original advice that Will Smith gives to his son in the movie. Better watch the movie to understand the lines better)

Let me not beat around the bush. So i am gonna give you the easiest way to solve the Rubik's puzzle.

Requisites

Rubik's cube - 1 number (the solvee)

Human being - 1 number (the solver)

Paint brush - 1 number

Paint - 6 colours

Method

The solution is very complicated to explain. So I'd rather attach a picture of how to solve a Rubik's cube.

Moral: Impossible is Possible.

-Chronicwriter

346. Being a Bachelor

When H.L Mencken came up with the very famous quote "Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.", the women community started calling him,"Mencken the Chicken". The author of this blog is a bachelor all his life (so far). This post is an attempt by him to prove to the rest of the world that a bachelor life is the greatest boon to Mankind.

Disclaimer: All the statements made in this post is from the personal experiences of the author and the author has no intention to hurt the sentiments of non-bachelors and women.

Additional Disclaimer: This post can be understood by people who have shared rooms with friends when they were bachelors.

Ten reasons why a Bachelor life is a boon to mankind

1) A bachelor can make the rules at home. It doesn't really matter, if the toilet seat is up or down. It doesn't even really matter even if the toilet doesn't have a seat. The kitchen is exactly not the place where cooking happens. A kitchen can be used for ironing clothes,washing clothes and sometimes used as the dining room.

2) A bachelor's bedroom will essentially have the following objects - A broken comb with strands of hair in it, A pillow cover that was washed a year ago, A bed sheet that serves the dual purpose of a hand towel also, a mobile phone under the pillow,a few notebooks that is full of poetry puked by the bachelor, a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too,socks on the tube light, underwear on the fan, a laptop that is never booted for more than a month, worn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of jeans on the hanger( This jean is worn by the bachelor when ever he leaves the house),a toothpaste-tube without the cap, a toothbrush which has bristles that look similar to Hitler's moustache,DVDs without the DVD cover and many more dynamic objects. A married man doesn't have such a privilege to have a bedroom like this.

3)A bachelor doesn't really need to return to the same house every night. He can crash down at his friend's house and he doesn't really need a bed to sleep. All he needs is a torn pillow shared by three people.He can go to work from his friend's place too. A house of the friend of a bachelor looks similar to the bachelor's house.

4) A bachelor can have as many girl friends as he can (at least in his dreams, if he is less talented like the author of this page). A bachelor is like an average Indian Cricket fan - He knows everything about the game and he can talk for hours about the game. But when you give him a bat, he will be bowled the very first ball.

5) Bachelors are extremely good cooks. If you have any doubts about this point, please check this[link]. But they forget all their cooking skills once they get married.

6) When a Bachelor smiles, you can clearly say that it is a Real smile.When a married man smiles, you know that he is faking it.

7) A bachelor will always remember his first love. The author of this blog also remembers his first love "Renu" always. Renu is married and is the mother of two kids now. But Chronicwriter's love for Renu is real.

8) Great people are bachelors.{Eg - Jeremy (My four year old nephew), Chronicwriter (Me) and Abdul Kalam (Former Indian President)}

9) A bachelor does not need to wake up with that same scared look on his face. My friend is married for the last two years and he says that when ever he wakes up from his sleep, he gets a scare. He said,"Chriz! Even the most beautiful woman in the world would look like a witch when she gets up from bed; Her hair will be all over the place and even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning". I said to him that I was not aware of this. So if you are a married man please tell me whether my friend was speaking the truth.

10) Bachelors need not wear the miniature hand-cuffs (Wedding rings). So they can play the guitar without any hassle. Chronicwriter dedicates one of his favorite songs to all his Blog readers. Check it out. It is the song of a Bachelor.

Bachelor Boy-Lyrics

1)When I was young my father said,Son I have something to say.And what he told me Ill never forget Until my dyin day.

He said son you are a bachelor boy,And thats the way to stay.Son, you be a bachelor boy until your dyin day

2)When I was sixteen I fell in love With a girl as sweet as could be. But I rememberd just in time,What my daddy said to me.

3)As time goes by I propably willMeet a girl and fall in loveThen Ill get married have a wife and a child.And theyll be my turtle doves.

-Chronicwriter

345. Liar Liar. Pants on Fire

Hi everyone. This is Mr.X. (The alter-ego of Chronicwriter). As Chronicwriter is reluctant to write anything on his blog, i decided to come here and tell everyone one dark secret about Chronicwriter. He is a Liar. Don't believe anything that he says on this blog. (Ok. alright, You can believe all that he says about his folks and about his kids). But do not ever believe a single word when he says that he is in love. He is a total loser and he simply dreams about being in love with a hot girl and all that he writes in this page about his love life are figments of his wild imagination. I am ashamed to call myself as the alter ego of such a loser.

You might ask me why i am so irritated with him.I am mad at him because he tried fooling me this afternoon. I had a conversation with him and he tried to be too smart with me and that is the exact moment I decided that I am gonna tear his image into pieces. Please go through the conversation i had with him.

Mr.X: Hi Chriz! (Chrony/Chronicwriter). Why aren't you blogging or visiting any blogs these days?
Chrony: I couldnot find anymore fotos of her.
Mr.X: Whose photos?
Chrony: Divya
Mr.X: She is your girlfriend( Read this[link] to read about Chronicwriter's new girlfriend Divya)
Chrony: You believed that too? Hahaha
Mr.X: So you lied?
Chrony: I never lied. If only such a girl exists...
Mr.X: Then whose photo is that?
Chrony: She is a model. I just have three of her fotos.[photo-1] , [photo-2]
Mr.X: So you are gonna reveal to your blog mates that you played a prank
Chrony: No! I am not gonna do that. I just morphed her third picture along with me and i will continue to fool them by posting that picture in my next post.
Mr.X: But do you think that your readers believe you? They already know that you bluff in this page.
Chrony: But they will believe when i write one more post about Divya.
Mr.X: What Joy do you get by doing so? Are you really that desperate?
Chrony: If you are single like me, you will understand my feelings
Mr.X: I am not gonna accept all your excuses. I Will tear you apart by blowing the whistle
Chrony: Why would you do that?
Mr.X: So that you stop fooling around with your imagination.
Chrony: Come on... You can't do this to me
Mr.X: I could and I will. When you really get hitched, no one is gonna believe you.
Chrony: Hahaha. Even I am not gonna believe if such a thing happens.
Mr.X: Now don't try to crack a joke. I am gonna reveal this to the blog world. Bye

Chronicwriter went back to post something on his wall in facebook and I came here to write this post. By the way, do you want to see the third picture? If the answer is Yes, I can clearly say that, No One can really save you.

Please Note: The picture is so cute!!! Should I add it in the next post?

Before I leave I would like to give an advice to all the pregnant women in the world.

Mr.X's Advice to pregnant women

If you have an appointment with the dentist because of tooth ache and if you have an appointment with the gynaecologist for your regular check-ups, please make it sure that you go to the right person for the correct treatment. Remember that a dentist and a gynaecologist are different people performing different professional work

-Mr.X

344. The lefties

I have always had an admiration for left handed guitarists. I started learning guitar when i was in class 3. I was 7 years old then. I am right handed. But i always used to dream about playing the guitar in left handed position. My dream never came true. I did my first ever guitar concert when I was 8 years old.Left handed guitarists have always had the centre stage. My first inspiration was Jimi Hendrix. His native American style of riffing blues along with jazz is a feet that was never achieved by anyone in the string industry.

Another left handed guitarist who had my attention was Kurt Kobain. The nirvana stringster is one of the all time great songwriters in history. He had a very short life.His punk rock style of plucking the guitar sure was a complete contrast to his rough stoned external looks.

How could one write a post on music without Beatles in it. Beatles is my all time favorite secular band. They were the innovators of all genres of music. John Lennon had the voice that any man would always dream of. But Paul McCartney was the heart-throb, not just because of his looks and his skills with the bass guitar but also because of the fact, that he was a leftie.

If there is one name that comes into my mind when i think about surf-stringing, it has to be Dick Dale.In the sixties,he introduced single-note staccato technique which is now very popular among death-metal bands

There is a new left handed guitarist in the block. He will make it big one day. He is now 4 years old. He doesn't play any chords nor does he riff along with the strings;but he sure knows how to use the guitar. He is my nephew Jeremy. He will soon start taking guitar classes. But his interest for the six-stringed instrument is so great that he is already performing in the dining room, hall and bedroom.Check one of his home performances here.It is a one minute video.It wont take much time for you to view the video. So please view the video before commenting on this post.

To view Chronicwriter's first on-stage performance (20 years ago),click here[link]

-Chronicwriter