Jun 12, 2018

965. How I fought my drug addiction problem in college.



In my first year of college I met this guy called Sundar. If you wanna know more about Sundar, all you have to do is watch the Tamil movie Kaadhal, and look out for a character called Virutchagakanth. He is that unassuming character whom we would never ever in our wildest dreams think of as a bad influence for us. Little did we know that he would change the fate of 5 guys in college. 

Sundar, single handedly spoilt all 5 of us. I had never tasted a drop of alcohol till that moment. But as I did my college in Pondicherry, alcohol eventually found me. Sundar never made me drink alcohol. Alcohol was my own personal choice. 

People in my close circle would know that I was addicted to drugs during my college days. Sundar was the stash supplier for all of us. It all started in the fall of 1999. I know we dont have a climate called "fall". I just wanted to sound cool in my blog. 

So It was sometime in the month of October. On a cold and hot sultry night ( Don't give me that look. That is how those nights were) , I was preparing notes for Basic Engineer Mathematics ( I flunked in that paper) paper, when I heard someone knocking my hostel room door.

It was Sundar. His eyes were red and he was smiling. I ushered him inside the room and he was sweating profusely. I knew something was wrong.

" Enna machi aachu? ( What happened bro?) " 
" Nothing much da! I am just high" 
"Are you drunk?" 
"No, I snorted 10 grams of Cocaine" 
"What! Is not that a drug?" 
"Yes! I am now high and I can see the 7th dimension?" (Appavey avan Christopher Nolan-kku tough koduthaan
" What is that?" 
" You will not understand" 
"Tell me please na" 
" You have to experience that to understand it" 
"But I am scared to take drugs" 
"Smoking is injurious to health macha! But Cocaine is just like sugar" 
" Will I behave weird and odd once I snort it in?" 
"No! Am I behaving odd? I am just high. You can try this pack"

He pulled out a small pack from his pocket, unwrapped it and there it was. I was seeing Cocaine for the first time in my life.

"How should I snort it in?"

He immediately pulled out a broken Reynolds pen and asked me to insert one end of the pen inside my nostril. There was a small hole in one end. It acted like a straw. Then he asked me to snort it in one go. 

When I was about to snort the powder, he stopped me and said that the pack would cost me Rs 10/- He said that it was usually in thousands; but because he had a cousin who has contacts with the underworld, he could buy that imported Cocaine from Brazil. 

I gave him a  Ten Rupee note. He gave a kiss to Gandhi thatha. Then I snorted that Cocaine in. I felt as if I was floating in the air. I actually felt as if two ladies were holding my hand and walking in a cushion laden road. I started to smile too. Sundar and i giggled till we slept off that night. Eventually I started to yearn for Cocaine and every week we started snorting Cocaine. 

This 'once a week' habit became an alternate day habit and eventually we were snorting Cocaine on a daily basis. We even went to our classes under the influence of drugs. Five of us had become drug addicts in our college. Cocaine was in our veins and no one could tell that we were under the influence of drugs because we acted normal even when we were high.

There was no stopping us. Even though I flunked in one of the papers, I eventually cleared that paper and even started scoring great marks in all semesters. I was literally my department topper when I entered the seventh semester in college. 

That night, we were waiting for Sundar to bring us some stash. Even after waiting for a long time, he did not arrive. So I walked up to his room and knocked on his door. He was not in his room. But the door was open. 

I walked inside the room and found some aluminium foil, a hammer and some newspapers in his table.  I heard someone walking towards the room. I thought it was the hostel warden. I did not want to be caught with drugs in my hand and hence I went and hid behind the cupboard in the room.

The door opened and Sundar walked inside the room with strips of tablets. He locked the door and opened all the tablets and placed them in the aluminium foil and started to powder them with the hammer. He then packed them in the newspaper and went out of the room.

I knew that he was going to supply Cocaine to my friends who were waiting for it in my room. So I decided to follow him too. As I came out of the cupboard, my instincts told me to check the tablet strip. It was VITAMIN C tablets (Celin).

I had my heart in my mouth. So this guy Sundar had cheated us for 4 years by giving us Vitamin C powder on a daily basis. That was when reality hit me. We acted normally all those years because we were never ever high. I was angry with Sundar because he had already pocketed hundreds of Rupees, not only from me; but also from my friends.

Note: Please do not tell anyone that I was a drug addict in my college days. Adhu enakku asingam illai. Adhu ungalukku dhaan asingam. 

Additional Note: Due to large amount of Vitamin C in my body, I seldom caught a cold during my college days

-Chronicwriter

Jun 11, 2018

964. Jurassic Park - The scariest movie I have ever seen



I have seen Evil dead, The Exorcist, Exorcism of Emily Rose, Child's Play and many more Horror movies in my life. I have never ever been scared. In fact when I watched "The Omen", I just treated it like a comedy film.

But one movie that scared the living daylights out of me has to be Jurassic Park. I watched the movie in a movie hall. We never had the habit of watching a movie in a movie hall. In fact the first movie I watched in a movie hall was "The Ten commandments". I was a small boy at that time and I slept off in the movie hall.

The second movie I watched in the movie hall was Jurassic Park. I watched it in Nagercoil in the legendary Pioneer Muthu movie hall. I added the above picture for a reason. That scene is what made me almost shit in my pants. Those two dinosaurs chased two little children and while watching that thrilling scene, I literally pulled my legs up and placed them on the chair because I feared that a dinosaur might creep from under the chair and bite my legs.

The two little children would scamper around the room to flee from the dinosaurs and eventually they would escape from the room through the ceiling. When the boy is pulled up through a hole in the ceiling, a dinosaur would jump to bite his legs off. That was the precise moment, I felt warmness in my pants. My bladder gave up and I peed in the seat.

Even today, when I watch the movie, I remember this scene and it still scares me big time.

- Chronicwriter

963. Why I did not become a policeman

I always wanted to become a cop.I had a fascination for guns and policemen. Late in the year 1985, my folks took me to an exhibition. I was just three years old at that time. 

As we were approaching the entrance, I saw a policeman. I was holding my father's hands and taking tiny steps. I freed myself from my father's grasp, ran up to the cop and poked his butt with my tiny fingers and shouted " Appa! Is this a Policeman?"

My father did not know what to do. He ran towards me, picked me up, apologized to the cop and walked away. I was angry with my dad because he had not yet answered my question. 

"Appa! I want to see that gun"

"No! That is a real gun. I will buy you a toy gun"

"Okay. Appa"

He kept his word. We came out of the exhibition with lot of goodies. My mom had bought lot of kitchen household items. My sister had a doll in her hand and I had a gun in my hand. As I walked out of the exhibition, I pointed the gun at the policeman and said "Hands up". He smiled at me. 

I had a doubt and asked my dad in a loud voice "Why does that police man have a big tummy?"

My dad closed my mouth and walked out at a faster pace. I was angry because my dad did not bother to answer my second question too. 

I assumed that the policeman had big tummies because they hid ammunition for their guns in their stomach. At that young age, I thought that belly button is the entrance point through which they push bullets inside the tummy.

I tried to push a nail inside my tummy too because I thought iron nails were nothing but bullets used in guns. That landed me in hospital.

Even when I used to play the game " Robber and Police" with my friends, I always chose to be the police. I liked to wear a cap and chase robbers. During one police chase, I became too hyper, and ended up kicking the robber in his head. Too much of Vijaykanth and Jackie Chan movies made me do that. My folks made me stop watching action movies after that.

When I entered college, I started riding a bike. The traffic police always had a ball and I ended up paying fines at regular intervals even when I followed all traffic rules. That is when I decided not to become a cop in life.  

Now I am putting a lot of weight around my tummy. I think I might become a police officer sometime in the future.

-Chronicwriter

Jun 6, 2018

962. No Plastics in TamilNadu after 2019



When the Tamil Nadu Government announced that they will ban disposable plastics from Jan 2019, I was pleasantly surprised and happy. I was hundred percent sure that Scientist Sellur would have been behind this decision. 

The ban excludes using disposable plastic for packaging milk, curd, oil and medical utilities. So we can still pollute the environment by throwing these plastics around.

The Industries that will b heavily affected by this ban are

1) Supermarkets

Supermarkets rely heavily on branded plastic bags. They have a big bunch of plastic bags at the billing counter. Now these bags have to be replaced by cloth or paper bags. The percentage of customers who visit the supermarket will definitely fall in 2019. E-tailers will have a great growth in their market-share in 2019. It is time for shops to venture into the E-tailing space soon.

2) Catering services

The plastic cups and plates will also be banned in 2019. So caterers will have to use paper cups or leaf cups. Marriage reception costs will go high and caterers will invariably charge high for this change. Plastic straws will be off the radar too. Tender coconut sellers will have to find alternate means to sell their products. And lovers will no more be able to drink from two straws in the same coconut.

3) Political parties

Plastic flags will also be banned. Party flags will now have to be in cloth or paper. The spend on flags will by political parties will have to change drastically. 

4) TASMAC

Plastic sachets for packaged drinking water will also be banned. Lower income people will find it difficult to mix sarakku while drinking. They will start to drink raw henceforth.

5) Silicone Implants

I am not sure about this. But plastic surgeons might be able to answer this.

Now you know why Pamela Anderson's image is used in this blog. It is because she has a plastic floating device in her hand in the picture. Neenga enna nenacheenga?

Chronicwriter

Jun 4, 2018

961. Three decisions that changed the face of TamilNadu


January 1968 should go into the record books as a memorable event in TamilNadu history. The country was facing a major turmoil.

The Cauvery tribunal board was not yet finalised. But the tension and animosity between the two southern states was on an all time high.

At this time, three major amendments to the constitution of the South Indian party was made.

DMK leaders K. A. Mathialagan, V.P. Raman, C.N. Annadurai, A.A. Arumugam and M. Karunanidhi with Swatantara Party founder C. Rajagopalachari (Rajaji) met together at a function and concluded on three major decisions which eventually changed the face of TamilNadu politics.

First decision: The politicians should always wear veshti for political events. Till date when ever there is a political party meeting, they always wear white veshti.

Second decision: The second decision was to field Mathialagan as a candidate in Thousand lights constituency. He went on to win three elections in the constituency and served as the Finance Minister, Minister of Food, Revenue and Commercial Taxes in the Tamil Nadu government and Speaker of the Tamil Nadu Legislative Assembly.

Third decision: A.A. Arumugam was responsible for the third decision. He knew that bribery and fraudulence was at its peak in the party. He decided to curb it. While heated discussion was going on between Rajaji and Annadurai, A.A. Arumugam beckoned Karunanidhi and told the three important words " Alert Aayikodaa Arumugam". Later on he was fondly remembered as Alert Arumugam by his party cadres.

Spot Alert Arumugam in the above picture

-Chronicwriter


May 30, 2018

960. Five myths about bed wetting

Warning: Reader excretion is necessary for reading this post

Clarification: Yes! You read it right. You need to read this blog in an empty stomach; because it will make the food in your body knock the back door while you are reading this blog

Relief: If you are suffering from constipation, you will feel alright by the time you finish reading this blog. You might need a cork to stop the flow

Confession: Last night I got in touch with my inner child. I realized he was a bed wetter.

Now you know what this blog is gonna be about.

I have written a lot about bed wetting and about my history with this art form.

This post is about the top 5 myths about bed wetting.

Myth #1
Bedwetting is a hereditary problem

Reality 
It is a myth. My friend Reena’s mother stopped bedwetting when she was a child. Her father also stopped bed wetting when he was small. But Reena still wets her bed. She is 29. If you ask me how I know that, the image below is the answer


Myth #2
Children wet the bed because they’re deep sleepers

Reality
My friend Vijay wets his bed not because he is a deep sleeper; but because he is lazy to get out of bed and go to the loo.



  
Myth #3
Your child will “outgrow” bedwetting and accidents if you wait it out.

Reality

Haha! I am 36. Do you think I outgrew that habit. Poda Ponga! Pulla kuttigala padikka vainga


Now you would know why I leave the towel in my bed most of the time. 

Are you still searching for the 4th and the 5th myth? They are nothing but myths.

-Chronicwriter

May 29, 2018

959. My class room love story

Dedicated to the pink mangoes

It was the year 1988. I was 6 years old then and I was in class 2. I was already deep in love with Renu. Shabir was already the most hated boy in my life. Those who read this blog would have already known how much I love(d) Renu. But none of you know how much sadness I used to carry in my little tiny heart at such a young age because of the quantum of hurt she inflicted on it. This post explains how I survived all such hurt and still live to tell those tales.


Renu was the class monitor when I was in class 2. I used to sit in the front bench.

The benches were small and two students could sit in one bench.

I used to sit with Nisha.

Renu would sit behind me and Shabir would sit next to her.

Every now and then I would turn and look at them because I never trusted Shabir.

When ever I turned to look at them, Shabir would place his arms on Renu's shoulders and that would break my tiny heart into many pieces.

Tears would immediately well up in my eyes.

The class teacher will ask me why I was having tears in my eyes.

I would tell her it is because of the chalk piece dust and she would tell that she was sorry.

Shabir would have a wry smile on his face all this while.

Nisha, who used to sit next to me would notice all this and one day she gave me the idea to have my revenge on Shabir.

When our class teacher was not in the class, it was Renu's duty to mind the class as she was the class representative.

Nisha gave me the idea to make Shabir talk so that Renu would write his name on the board.

This would mean that the teacher would eventually punish Shabir.

I thanked Nisha for her idea and we decided to somehow make Shabir talk out loud.

So the next period, when the teacher was not in class, I rolled up a small piece of paper and flicked it at Shabir when he was not noticing me.

It hit his neck and he understood that the paper had come from the first row.

His doubts zeroed down towards me.

There was pin drop silence in the class all this while and suddenly Shabir screamed at the top of his voice "Chriz! that was you. right?"

I looked at him with an innocent face (The same look that Nithyananda had when he said that it wasn't him)

Renu wrote Shabir's name on the black board.

When the class teacher returned, she saw Shabir's name on the board.

She got furious with him and punished him with the wooden ruler.

Shabir started to cry and as he came and sat in his bench, Renu touched his shoulder and told him that she was sorry.

He now did some over acting and cried even more. She wiped his tears away and told him that she would give him a Maha Lacto sweet the next day.

He wiped his tears and with a wry smile winked at me

That was the day I learnt the story that you can use your sad story to hit on a girl.

I left school that evening with a heavy heart. 

-Chronicwriter

May 15, 2018

958. The legend of Ramar - Athadi Enna Udambi


Vadivelu Balaji and Robo Shankar are two forces that took the Vijay TV comedy scene by storm after the fall out of the Lollu Sabha series. These two could make anyone laugh and they were mainly responsible for the humongous success of Adhu Idhu Edhu.

When these two guys were reaching their peak, another Tamil scholar from a place called Madurai made people to turn around and notice him with his effortless “Enna ma ippadi panreengaley ma” dialogue which became a cult hit. People started searching his name on YouTube.

Ramar anna became a household name. These days, all he has to do is just make his appearance and people automatically start laughing. His trademark body language, lady getups, reverse moon walk, and his songs have taken silver screen comedy to a whole new level.

His spoof show “Ramar veetu kalyaanam” will eat up all the TRPs in the Tamil TV network history. Having praised him too much here, I would like to draw your attention to this video - Ramar’s “Athadi enna udambi”.

99% percentage of Tamil movie lovers would not have heard this song till Ramar came up with his version. The song “ Athadi enna udambu” is a song that was featured in the movie Sindhu Nathi Poo. The song had a meagre 1500 views on YouTube. But when Ramar’s version of the same song became popular crossing 4 million views in record time, people started to search for the original song. 


The manner in which he says udambi for udambu and palli for pallu will make anyone to roll on the floor laughing. To add to his singing prowess (which is a jazz version of the song), he also dances between the words to make it even more comical.

Ramar can sometimes become vulgar with his talk. But if we knock that off and start appreciating the humour he delivers, one can assuredly say that he has reserved a special place for himself in Tamil comedy.

- Chronicwriter

May 13, 2018

957. I have become a bhakt

I am not ashamed anymore. I know you would smile at me and make fun of me. But I have to admit. After much consideration, I thought of coming out of the closet. Yes! I have become a bhakt. After fighting, trolling and rolling with fellow bhakts for more than 5 years on FB, I have finally found that I am a bhakt too.


Two incidents made me to convert into a bhakt.

Incident 1: My great grandfather's friend's diary.

My great grand father served in the army in the Pre-Independent era. His friend Mr Biplap Kumar was a secret agent. He had a 56 inch chest. Mr Biplap was the right hand of Subash Chandra Bose. Using the latest technology available at that time, Biplap trained a man called Modi who went on to become the advisor of Subash Chandra Bose. My respect for Modi immediately jumped two storeys higher. This truth was not known to anyone as it was available only on Mr. Biplap's diary. It is also a national secret. I know I have committed a treason for revealing a national secret like this. But I don't care because I am a bhakt and bhakts like me cannot be questioned or cornered with logic. We defy logic with our sense of stupidity.

Incident 2: MRS Saguntala aunty.

When I was a 6 year old boy,my grand mother taught me how to pronounce Mr, Mrs, Master and Miss. My neighbor Mr David uncle and his wife Mrs Saguntala aunty used to spend their evenings at our house playing with me. One evening I tried to practice my lessons on them.

I wrote the words Mr. David on a piece of paper and spelt his name as Mr. David. I tried doing the same for Sakuntala aunty too; But instead of spelling it out as Mrs Sakuntala, I ended up saying M.R.S. Sakuntala. Everyone laughed out loud. I did not understand why they were laughing; so I ended up laughing with them too.

Recently I saw a video with a title insulting our PM as a fool. I got furious with the title of the video. To cuss the person who uploaded the video, I watched the video. Modi addressed Mrs Sirisena as M.R.S. SIRISENA. It was at that moment I realized that I am the Modi of TamilNadu.



You can smile at me, make fun of me, cuss me and even abuse me. None of your abuses will do anything to me because I am a bhakt.

- Chronicwriter

Apr 20, 2018

956. Don't change for others


I am at a stage in life where I don't find the need to please others. There was a time when I would behave in a certain manner just to be accepted. But now I have reached a point where I don't give a hoot. 

Do people around you think that you are crazy? Do they make fun of you? Does that bog you down? And do you try to change yourself to get into their good books? If the answer is Yes, then this blog is for you.

You don't have to change yourself for anyone.  Seriously! You can change for your own betterment. But don't do it just to be accepted by others.

Our Hero's father abandoned him when he was two years old.
His mother became mentally ill.
Without having any form of parental support, he started to work as a laborer at the tender age of 7.
He was so much stricken in poverty that he would go without food for 3 to 4 days.

He started step dancing and started using his skills on stage plays and auditioned for getting a role in a Hollywood movie. He was rejected and was told that he was not macho enough to don the role of a hero. He was told to workout, enhance his looks and mellow down on his non verbal skills so that he could be accepted. But he knew that he had a skill that would connect well with the audience and he put his foot down and made a statement that he won't change his style just to fit into the conventional "Hero" role.

He is none other than the greatest silent-movie actor of all time - Charlie Chaplin.

He was diminutive, had a comical mushtache, did not have a masculine body nor a great body language and he was considered to be less manly for his posture. But he used all these so called minuses and packaged them all into his acting.

If you are looked down by people, just pause for a second and think if you can still pull it off with those actions. And if your conviction for that thought is an Yes, just don't change for anyone. Harness your skills and go rule the world.

- Chronicwriter