May 15, 2017

882. When a girl cheats a guy

"How would a Peacock feather put kutti?", I asked her

"When you keep a peacock feather inside a notebook and leave it closed for a month, the feather will multiply into two."

So I went home and kept the feather inside my Maths notebook. I did not open the book that month and failed in my monthly exam. Later that day I was told that Peacocks don't give birth to baby peacocks. When I discovered that they lay eggs, I realized my folly. I was furious. I walked up to her and asked her why she cheated me.

"Female peacocks lay eggs. But male peacocks give birth to baby peacocks if you keep the feather inside the note book"

"But you told me that the feathers will multiply. How will a baby peacock be born?"

" After all the feathers are formed, you have to take the feathers and keep it inside a box for a month. If you do that, the body, legs and head of the Peacock will be formed"

And so I believed her again. Well I was 8 years then and I was super innocent that time. These days, 8 year old boys are becoming fathers of children and many 8 year old boys already have girlfriends. I only had a crush at that time. But even after 1 year, nothing happened to that peacock feather. I was disappointed. So I again tried to confront her.

" I think you lied to me. The peacock feathers never multiplied"

" Only male peacock feathers multiply. What you had kept in that notebook must be a female peacock feather. Female peacocks lay eggs. They don't give birth to baby peacocks. Stop blaming me"

" Sorry! I did not think of that". Can you give me a male peacock feather?"

" Okay here you go. But make sure that you follow all the necessary rules in preserving the feather in the notebook"

So I kept the feather inside a used rough notebook and carefully placed it in my desk in school. I never took it home. After a month, when I opened it there were two feathers. I was very happy. I went to her and thanked her and told that I was sorry for not trusting her completely. She forgave me and showcased her big heart. I did not fall in love with her because I was already in love with Renu. If Renu had not been there in my life, I would have fallen for her.

The very next day, I saw her opening my friend's notebook and placing an additional feather inside his notebook, when he was not in the class. I realized that she had cheated me. But I was too scared to confront her. It has taken me 25 years to finally come out of the shell and write about my pain in this blog. But I am still scared and that is why I have not revealed her name yet.


May 13, 2017

881. That Bodhai when you get record post views.

I have been in Quora writing answers on sports and this happened.

I know that this would be a jujubi matter for Quora experts and they would say"What is so special about this?"

For a die hard Sachin fan (I know many my age would be), writing something about Sachin gives me a lot of happiness and to get such a reception for the answer I wrote about him has taken me to murunga maram top.

Read my answer here [Prason's Quora Answer on Sachin's 200].


May 12, 2017

880. Autograph movie in real life

These grannies created a sensation when they decided to stitch their school uniforms that they wore 50 years ago and wear them for their alumni meet. That is swag style at its best. This happened in Vallapattanam in Kerala.  Some of them even had their old school note books in their bag.

This gives hope for all of us to conduct a school alumni meet. The WhatsApp school groups will be active for the next few days and there would be heavy planning going on to have an alumni meet.

But things may not be the same if we have a school alumni meet. We would have a scenario in which the following might happen

1) Srinivas and Radhika might come to school. Back in school, they were the inseparable Rakhi sister-brother duo. She will tie a rakhi in his hand every year. But now they are husband and wife and the proud parents of two lovely children. We will rag them to death.

2) Ravi will also come for the meet. Ravi was Radhika's boyfriend in school and Srinivas was his best friend during school days. Ravi is now married to Radhika' friend Soundarya.

3) Balaji will get an opportunity to take his revenge on Chemistry sir - Mr. Daniel. Mr Daniel just gave 20 out of 50 marks for Balaji in Chemistry practicals because of which Balaji did not get good marks in his +2 exams. Balaji swore to take his revenge some day. But he is now in a good position. But it would be funny to see how he reacts when he meets Mr Daniel. Mr Daniel is retiring this year

4) We might all have a chance to see our French ma'm. All the boys were crazy about her. In fact I took Tamil as my second language. But I was in the French class all the time.

5) The first thing I will do is to go to the school loo to see if my artwork in the loo wall is still there. I had expressed my love for Renu in the toilet wall. 

6) To see if Natarajan anna still comes to school in his cycle carrying the ice box. He used to sell icecreams for 50 paisa

There are many other things that we would love to re-live. But I can't express them in this blog as it will separate families and make some to end their life too.


May 8, 2017

879. Manda Bathram; because I am dangerous

In West Indies, when a boy baby is born, they will say "Okay this boy will become an opener for a cricket franchisee in the IPL". West Indies produces some of the greatest hard hitters in the world. But do they lack stamina? 

Look at all the muscle clad body builders of the West Indian cricket team. They can enter the WWE ring and lift Big Show and Goldberg easily too. But they don't last longer than 20 overs in cricket. In test match cricket, they don't last longer than 3 days, but in T20 cricket, they are literally unbeatable. Check out for these guys 
  • KKR has Sunil Narine. Who would have thought that this guy can bat? But he has the fastest 50 in this IPL
  • RCB has Gayle. T20 was defined by this monster
  • MI has Lendl Simmons. He is the dark horse of the team
  • SRH had Sammy; he was not their opener, but he was a successful captain.Now KXIP has him
  • DD has Carlos Brathwaite, the beast who smoked 4 successive sixes. He is not an opener too; but he might soon become one
  • GL has Dwayne Smith, who can single handedly win a match for their team
  • RPS do not have a single West Indian; but they have Dhoni. You might ask "Is Dhoni from WI?" When RPS lifts the cup, I will reveal the answer

Even Ussain Bolt is a sprinter. He can't run long distances. If you had seen long distance runners, they are either from Ethiopia or Kenya or Somalia. Guys who are just made of bones have lot of stamina. 

Note to all the body builders: This statement does not have any double meaning statement hidden in it. So don't get angry. Even if you get angry, I don't mind, because the stamina example was evident from the movie Pudhupettai too, where Dhanush (just bones) would be beaten to pulp by a gunda gang; but he will endure the test of time and eventually beat all those guys. Why am I telling this? I have a bone body too. So manda bathram.

Note: Bayathula chuchu poyiteengala? Idhukkey bayandhaa eppadi? Innum evlavo irukkey.


Apr 25, 2017

878. The knock that marked the beginning of Sachin Tendulkar

Yesterday 30,000 people sang the " Happy birthday to you" song to Sachin Tendulkar as he cut the cake in Mumbai during the IPL match between MI and RPS. It was heartening to see the effect the little master still has with the crowd. I have followed him through out his career. When I started following cricket as a 5 year old boy (1987), Krish Srikanth was my favorite batsman. 

I loved cricketers who smashed every ball and at that point of time, India had only one swashbuckling opener and his name was Srikanth. Navjot Singh Sidhu was also good with his six hitting abilities; but when Srikanth was facing the ball, you can always expect him to throw his bat at everything and that was a joyous sight to see.

I used to like Tendulkar because he scored quick. He was young, came in at 5th or 6th scored some brisk 30 or 40 runs. He would often come in to bat in the 45th or 46th over. March 27th 1994- the date is still fresh in my memory. I was writing my 7th standard annual exams. India was touring New Zealand. It was the second ODI.

India pinned its hopes on Navjot Singh Sidhu the opener.  But on that fateful ( or should I say joyous) day, Sidhu woke up with a stiff neck and he could not turn his neck. Young Sachin ran up to his captain Azhar and pleaded with him to let him open the innings. Azhar and Ajit Wadekar were surprised with a young batsman running up to them with such an offer.

New Zealand had a deadly bowling attack spearheaded by Danny Morrison. Chris Pringle was unplayable in those conditions and Larsen was pinpoint accurate. And taking the responsibility to open the batting against such an attack was an act of bravery. 

New Zealand batted first and scored a paltry 142 in their allotted 50 overs. A score of 142 in New Zealand was still defend-able because matches in New Zealand were low scoring affairs. Sachin and Jadeja opened the batting for India. I was watching the match on ESPN and was surprised to see Sachin walking into bat. Morrison and Pringle were taken to the cleaners. 

Sachin redefined the art of opening. Indians were scoring at ten runs per over. He faced 48 balls and smashed 82 runs from it. Gavin Larsen was a stump to stump bowler and Sachin clearly unsettled him by coming down the wicket and taking him to the stands. 
A star was born on that day. India chased down the total in 23 overs at a run rate of 6 per over. The world media turned their focus on this guy from India. The little master finally made the world to notice him and from then on, there was no turning back.

He no longer had to come into bat in the 45th over. He would open the bating and score a brisk 50 and take the team score to 100 odd runs in the first 15 overs itself. After he gets out, the whole team would crumble down. But more often that momentum he gives would be more than enough to help the team cross the shore. 

He went on to score 100 centuries in his career. The desert storm century, world cup 90 against Pakistan in 2003, first man to score 200 happened in his career. But in my opinion, it all started in that match in Auckland in 1994.


Apr 20, 2017

877. The story behind Jolene

Have you ever been in a situation where you had felt that someone is trying to steal your better half? Have you pleaded with that someone not to come between you and your better half? If you had been in such a situation, you could relate well with this song.

Dolly Parton, who happens to be the aunt of Miley Cyrus wrote this song Jolene, which went on to become a cult hit that has been covered by people all over the globe. When Dolly Parton was newly married to a banker Carl Dean, a red headed bank clerk tried to flirt with him. That incident became the foundation for the song Jolene. 

 "Jolene" tells the tale of a woman confronting Jolene, a stunningly beautiful woman, who she believes is trying to steal away her lover and begging her "please don't take my man." Throughout the song, the woman implores Jolene "please don't take him just because you can."

I recorded this song on Smule. You can check my version of the song here.

When you listen to the song, there is so much desperation in the song. It echoes the sadness with which a girl pleads with another girl to save her marriage.

I love various covers for this song. I am going to add three cover versions here

1) Miley Cyrus - Backyard cover.

Though I am not a fan of Miley, I actually liked her in this song.

2) Benton Blunt's version of Jolene

I am a sucker for music reality shows. I follow almost all of them. When Benton Blunt came on stage to audition for America's Got Talent, no one was actually prepared for what's in store for them. He blew them all away with his rendition of Jolene.

3) Pentatonix and the Grammy award winning cover

What makes this version so special is that this cover enabled Dolly Parton to win a Grammy 44 years after she recorded this song. Dolly Parton also makes an appearance in this song.

In a way, if a person has to plead with another woman not to steal her husband, the husband is not really worthy because he is an easy bait. Similarly if a husband has to plead with another man not to steal his wife, she ain't a keeper. In Dolly Parton's case, she is married to her hubby for more than 50 years. Ain't that adorable?


Apr 18, 2017

876. How to prove you are a true Indian

Post the comment "Modi is the best PM in the world" in public forums, especially on FB

Go to a movie theater and search for someone who does not stand up for national anthem, If everyone are standing up, search for someone who does not stand in attention; if you find an adimai, beat him slap him and shout " Bharath Mata ki Jai". Also shoot a video and post it on FB, or go live on FB
Wheel chair bound guy kicked for not standing up for National Anthem

Give one star rating for Snapchat and Snapdeal

Abuse Pakistan in comments in FB

Write random shit in Hindi and post that Hindi script in Tamil forums and when any Tamilian argues with you that Hindi is not the official National language, tell them that they are anti national 

Stop Ogling at her

Preserve the Indian sanskari/ sanskriti by slapping any boy and girl walking together in public. Even if they are a brother and sister duo, slap them hard and make them accept that they are wrong

Randomly shout Anti Kejriwal slogans and when AAP supporters corner you, change the topic and abuse Rahul Gandhi by shouting Pappu joke

And finally, if a Pakistani attacks you in public forums, ask them to go to Pakistan.

- Chronicwriter

Apr 17, 2017

875. Do not say "Don't" for everything

 "Oh baby! Don't climb the stairs. You will fall down"
That was his mother when he was a 2 year old baby

" Ashwin! Don't run fast. You will fall down and bruise your knees"
This was his father when he was 3

" My dear grand son, Don't talk with Rahul. He is from THAT caste"
This was his grand father injecting caste feelings for his 5 year old grand son.

" Ashwin! Don't share your snacks with others. If you share your snacks; you won't become strong"
This was his grand mother teaching him to be selfish

"Don't take Maths Biology. Take Computer Science as specialization in your class 11"
This was his uncle advising him on what career he should choose in his life.

"Don't select that college. They are liberal. Study in this college because they are strict and you will get good marks"
His maternal uncle gives his expert advice on college selection.

"Don't marry her. Her family does not have enough money. Marry Reethu aunty's daughter"
His mom gives him relationship advice.

" Don't have a baby soon. At least postpone it for 3 years"
That was his married friend giving him a lecture on family planning on the day of his marriage.

" Midhun! Don't run fast. You will fall down and bruise your knees"
That is our Ashwin talking to his 3 year old son Midhun.

And history repeats. Most of us can relate with Ashwin.The life that we live is conditioned by people around us. If we have gone through such a conditioning, let us atleast try our level best not to pass this disease to Midhun. 

Allow Midhun to fall, get hurt, fail.
Allow Midhun to choose a path that he wants to trod on
Allow Midhun to be independent.
Allow Midhun to live his life.


874. So I danced and covered "Sway"

Do you have two left legs? And do you think you can never dance? Well, this blog is for you. If you have not listened to the song “Sway”, you should probably listen to the song now. Why am I saying this now? Because, once you listen to the song, the music will flow through your nerves and veins and you would automatically start dancing.

I used to dance like a crazy monkey and my lifestyle in the last few years made me like a robot. I could hardly move to music. I sing a lot and started singing in Smule. A month ago, I decided to record this song “Sway”. It used to be a ball room/ party dance song and it is still the same. When I started to sing this song, I automatically started moving.

This song was written in 1953 as "Quien Sera" by the Mexican bandleader Pablo Beltran Ruiz. Norman Gimbel wrote the English lyrics for the song and Dean Martin recorded it with his voice. Martin sings that when he sways with his dance partner on the dance floor she is all he sees. If you are a salsa dancer, this is the dance you should try out with your dance partner. You can jive to this and even do samba moves to this song. There are so many layers to this song. Check this recording of mine here. The lyrics are added too

The song lyrics for Sway by Norman Gimbel and Dean Martin.

When marimba rhythms start to play, Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze, Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me, Stay with me, sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor, Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have the magic technique, When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins, Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how, Sway me smooth, sway me now

Other dancers may be on the floor, Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have the magic technique, When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins, Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how, Sway me smooth, sway me now

Singers who have performed this song are Bobby Rydell, Ben E. King, Michael BublĂ©, Cliff Richard. Jennifer Lopez recorded it for the 2004 movie Shall We Dance. If you had watched the movie Sexy Beast, with Ben Kingsley and Ray Winston, you would have  heard this song in it. This song still sounds fresh and modern even though it was made over 50 years ago. So if you think you can't dance, just try listening to this song again and again.


Apr 12, 2017

873. My Hercules Rockshox cycle

When I was 11 years old, I asked my parents to buy me a bicycle. They told me that they would buy me a bicycle only if I get first rank in School for three consecutive months. That was their way of saying No to me. So I only had a chance to ride my sister's bicycle. It was a red color BSA SLR. 

What made it worse for me was that it was a ladies bicycle. My classmates would make fun of me when I took that cycle to school. So I decided to get first rank for three consecutive months and make my parents buy me a men's bicycle.

Eventually I succeeded only when I turned 14. My dad kept his word and bought me a double shock absorber cycle( Hercules Rockshox). Back then, owning such a cycle would me that you are cool. But there was a problem. As I was short, it was pretty difficult to ride that cycle. More often, I would sit on the bar and ride the cycle.

That's Pravin and I going to school
Every morning Pravin and I would go together to school in our bicycles. We would race with each other, try riding it without holding the handlebar and try various stunts. After school, we would paint the roads by exploring and navigating through all the streets en-route to our home. I had this cycle even in my college days.

Today, people buy bicycles to exercise. Back then it was our only mode of transport. May be I would buy a cycle someday and start riding it again.

Some of the memories with my cycle include

  • Locking the cycle with a chain lock
  • Skidding the cycle like a boss
  • Paying 50 paisa every week in the bicycle shop to fill air for the tyres
  • Tightening the cycle chain when it gets loose
  • Making noise with the bell
  • Using the right brake for the stopee effect.
  • Actress Devayani has sat on this bicycle once
Because of my short stature, I would literally sit on the bar and ride the cycle and most of the time, the bar played a big part in me lying down and writhing in pain. Even though it hurt the sensitive parts of my body, I would make it a point to ride this cycle, because I loved the cycleDo you have memories with your bicycle?