Nov 20, 2018

981. A tribute to Jim Reeves



Jim Reeves! His voice would resonate in our house every morning when I was a kid. My mother introduced his songs to me and I remember singing along with the casette player to the songs "He'll have to go, Bimbo, Across the Bridge and many more". For a long time I would confuse his voice with Tennesse Ernie Ford. 

As I had a higher vocal register, I never attempted to sing his songs. But recently after floating a quartet called Fisher Four, I started experimenting with different vocal ranges and my band mates encouraged me to try bass and baritone voices. So I started trying out some bass songs.

Recently my wife presented me with a blue yeti mic and I decided to cover the song "Welcome to my world" using the mic. Thanks to Enock annan for capturing the video using my phone and editing it too :)

A note to Jim Reeves's fans: Please forgive me. I tried my level best with my baritone voice :)


-Chronicwriter

Nov 18, 2018

980. Anya is introduced to cricket


Anya rules the roost with the TV remote control at home. When I was a small boy, there was only one channel available on TV and that was Doordarshan. 

All of us had no other option and hence we all saw the channel all the time. No wonder I even watched the 7 PM "Vayalum Vaazhvum show".

Now, the remote control is always with Anya and she watches the cartoon channels on TV. Some cartoons are banned for her at home because I make certain rules at home. 

But I give her company and watch Masha & Bear, Dora, Peppa Pig, Andy & Pirky and Paw Patrol along with her.

Last week I asked her if she would allow me to watch cricket on TV. I love watching sports channels on TV and luckily for me, she agreed. 

So we both sat and watched the third One day International cricket match between India and West Indies. 

She got bored after sometime; but she went on scribbling some notes in her notebook.


By the time the match was over, she had also finished scribbling. This note will be a memory for both of us as it is her first match along with me. 

Her favorite cricketer is Mandhana because she likes women cricket and is not a fan of the men in blue.

-Chronicwriter

Nov 13, 2018

979. #MeToo

Disclaimer: Company is not responsible for hurting the sentiments of the readers

She: What is your view on the #MeToo issue?

Me: It is a nice thing

She: What is a nice thing?

Me: That people are finally coming out

She: How can it be nice to you?

Me: I found it as a good change

She: How can the sufferings undergone by many be a nice and good thing to you?

Me: I don't think you understood what I was saying

She: YES! I GOT IT. I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. ALL YOU MEN ARE LIKE THAT

Me: :)

She: SEE. YOU ARE SMILING. YOU LIKE WOMEN TO GO THROUGH SUFFERING AND NOW YOU ARE SMILING AND MAKING FUN OF THEM WHEN THEY FINALLY COME OUT

After 15 minutes

She: Are you there?

Me: I am very much here

She: THEN WHY CAN'T YOU REPLY? DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS BY BEING SILENT?

Me: Get away with what?

She: GET AWAY FROM PUTTING DOWN WOMEN AND MOCKING AT US WHEN WE ARE GOING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES

Me: Where did they even find you?

She: DON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC. YOU HAD THE NERVE TO MOCK AND MAKE FUN OF THE #METOO MOVEMENT and NOW YOU HAVE GOT THE AUDACITY TO EVEN INSULT ME. IT IS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU, WOMEN ARE STRUGGLING AND SUFFERING IN THIS WORLD

Me: Oh Please. You are not making any sense at all and you are being a nuisance

She: I AM BLOCKING YOU. I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY FRIEND

Me: :)



-Chronicwriter

Nov 8, 2018

978. Undertaker - My favourite wrestler

I was a big fan of WWF (Now WWE). When I was a kid, I used to ace the game Trump cards. I knew every single detail of the wrestlers. Sid Justice was my favorite wrestler for a long time. 

When Undertaker made his entrance into the WWF scene, I was shocked to realise that there could be a wrestler who could actually be stronger than Sid Justice himself. 

Slowly I moved my loyalty towards Undertaker. There was a common rumour that he had 7 lives. Though I liked him, I was actually scared of him. Undertaker would make his entrance with his manager Paul Bearer who always carried an urn.



The urn had many stories attached to it. Eventually I started having bad dreams of the urn and hence I stopped drinking water from the sombu at home. 

To know what a Sombu means, click here [ link ]

When ever I entered the kitchen, I would look for the sombu near the kitchen sink; and when I saw it, I would run out of the kitchen screaming for my dear life.

This fear accompanied me even when I was in college. I would tell my friends that I would run away during my first night after wedding if my wife carried a milk sombu.

Then many wrestlers joined the WWE and left. Though I started liking many wrestlers like the Rock, Stone Cold, The HeartBreak Kid, Goldberg; my favorite was always Undertaker.

One Wrestler whom I hated a lot was the Boogeyman. He literally ate worms. I was eating maggi noodles when I first saw him on TV. I ended up puking which made me look like him.

Note: Sombu was banned at my wedding. But now I have started using the sombu

1) Who is your favourite wrestler?
2) Who is the wrestler you hate the most?

- Chronicwriter

Oct 22, 2018

Oct 2, 2018

976. What is mom having in her hand?


"Brother! Why is Amma standing like that?

" Baby Sister! Slow down. I think she has something in her hand"

" Is she hiding icecream stick for us"

"I am not sure about the icecream part. The chances of she having a stick is more"

" But why would she have a stick?"

" She is going to punish us for some mistake that we did"

" But Brother, We did not do anything wrong"

" We are not wearing an slippers. She has asked us not to venture out without our slippers"

" Oh Yes! And we are not wearing any dress"

"Atleast I am wearing my shorts. You are just in your underwear"

"Should we run away then?"

"No! Just wait here. Let us see her facial reaction"

"Mom is smiling at us. I think it is okay to go near her"

"No! Dont fall for that smiling face dear sister! I am more experienced in this. The moment we are within arm's reach of our amma, her facial expression will automatically change"

" So what should we do? Should we ask sorry"

" Oh No! We should not give up so easily. Just have a sorry face and take one step forward"

"Okay brother! Here I go! But why have you not taken a step forward?"

" This is a strategy. You move towards the right, I will move towards the left. Mom can't catch both of us"

"But there is a wall towards your left. You can't climb the wall too. You will be cornered"

"I never thought of this. You are a genius sister"

" But anna! Did you just pee in your shorts? I can see a wet patch on your trousers"

" Yes! I drank too much of water"

Do you have a sibling? Have you had such conversations with your sibling? I have had such conversations with my sister. When I saw this picture, I could not just sit quiet. That is how this post has come to life.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 18, 2018

975. How to control urine

Of all the things in the world, why this topic? I feel that this topic is important for everyone. I like to make this world a better place to live in. And I feel it is important to write this post today.



This post is dedicated to my friend Rajesh who pees everywhere - In his bed, on the road, at work place, in his pants and even while riding the bike (Vadivelu's urine tank bursting scene is also dedicated to him)

Scenario 1: Imagine you are sleeping in your bed. There is a fire in your neighbourhood ( And there is no fire extinguisher) and you decide to extinguish the fire. So you spray water and quench the fire. The dream is over and you open your eyes to see yourself in a pool of urine.

Scenario 2: Imagine you are going on a tour with your friends in a car in National highway. After 3 hours of continuous driving, the car driver stops the car to ease himself. Now you feel like opening up your bladder too

Scenario 3: Imagine you are in a conference room. Your boss is taking a presentation for more than an hour. The A/C is making everyone shiver. The water that you drank an hour ago is now waiting to be freed.

In all these scenarios, I have given a picture perfect situation where you are forced to act on your instinct. How would you handle such a situation? The following five points will help you to control urine in situations where you have no other go. The author recommends these five points only in crisis situations.

1) Shaking Stevens effect: Sit in a chair and shake your legs in a rhythmic motion. You would be able to control urine for 10 minutes. After ten minutes, increase the pace. A human being can hold urine up to 1 hour using this technique
 2) Listen to music: Do you know that listening to instrumental music can help you to hold your pee? If you do not know this fact, you should try it. 
 3) Cross your leg: You can cross your legs to control urine. But you will end up having tears in your eyes if you do so for more than 30 minutes
4) Drink lots of water: This is like treating poison with poison. Drink one bottle of water. Your bladder will start cursing you. Now you can adopt the Shaking Stevens effect to hold your bladder. This method should be tried only by professionals like the author of this page
5) Let out a silent fart: Yes! It works. If you let out a silent fart, urine puts reverse gear and goes inside your body.

I have done masters in this subject and have written many articles and even submitted a thesis on this subject as a part of my MBA dissertation (It was rejected by my jealous guide who always failed to control his urine). I am posting some of those articles here for you to read in your pee (free) time.

Article 1: A gun to your bladder [link] is a study material for students at Harvard
Article 2: Can a girl pee in public [link] is a post I wrote for women empowerment
Article 3: Nitin Gadkari's urine treatment [link] which will make the Bhakts to buy me a free ticket to Pakistan
Article 4: Cheat code to pee in public [link]

-Chronicwriter 
(Bachelors in Engineering in Urine Technology)

974. The struggle with writing anything online

Publishing a blog post ain't that easy anymore. I have to mentally prepare myself for a battle before even attempting to type anything on my blog these days.

Back in those days, it was easy to write a blog post. All I have to do is think of any random subject and just go with the flow. I let out my crazy creative juices in the form of words and that would just do the trick for me. But now a days humour goes through multiple filtering processes before it is accepted as humour by the common Neeta ( It is Neta. But Neeta sounds better and sweet. Hence used the word)

I do have my political stand and religious stand and that would ofcourse have its influence on my writings, even when I write humourous posts.  These days, I have to think twice before writing any line on this blog. Some of the pointers that run in my head when I type a line are 

  • Will my post hurt the sentiments of any particular religion?
  • Will this post hurt women?
  • Will it hurt the sentiments of feminists?
  • Will it hurt the sentiments of Naam Tamlar fans?
  • Will I have to bear the brunt of Modi Bhakths?
Yes I can fight tooth and nail to respond to those who have a different stand against mine. But would that be of any help to any one apart from fueling our egos? The answer is No.

So the point I am trying to make here is that I have moved far away from my brand of humour because of various reasons; some of which are stated above. Fans of a popular actor forced me to shut this blog down for a week when I wrote a film review about his film. But I am not going to give a damn about what others think. Do you know why I don't give a damn anymore?

Because I am none other than Echa Raja's admin. Now don't ask me if the voice in the video was mine? I leave it for the court to decide on it.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 17, 2018

973. Five similarities between me and a lion


I was watching discovery channel where I saw a Lion hunting down a deer and devouring its flesh. It was a Bodhi tree moment for me. I told myself "If that Lion could eat meat, I can eat meat too".  Now don't you tell me that I am not a lion. I have five similarities with the lion.


  1. I am scared of porcupines too
  2. The Lion's backteeth ( carnassals) are sharp like a pair of scissors. My teeth are sharp too. The sugarcanes I havedevoured in my lifetime stand a testimony to the strength of my teeth. I have also bitten 12 people in my life. All of them had to take TT injections.
  3. The lion has a tasseled tail. I have one too. Next time, you meet me, I will show the tail
  4. The lion can kill insects with their fart. Mine can kill human beings too
  5. The lion can sleep up to 20 hours a day. You have to see how I spend my saturdays and you will accept that I am a lion
In fact my dad actually wanted to name me "Lion". But when my mother told him that the folks from the zoo would catch me and take me to the zoo, he changed his mind and named me Prason Christopher Robin. Now having made it clear that I am more or less the lion of the concrete jungle, I can proudly make my claim that I can eat meat too. This includes beef. Eating beef might be banned in India sometime in the future. 

When that day arrives, I will become a vegetarian and transform myself into a goat that eats shrubs and plantation. I don't have any similarities with the goat. Well I can moo like a pregnant goat. It is tough for me to transform myself into a goat. But if that is what the nation wants, I will indeed change because change is the only constant. (Puriyala dhaaney? Same pinch)

If you have read so far, all I can tell you is that you have to bear with me for some more time because I am closing in towards my 1000th blog.

-Chronicwriter

Sep 10, 2018

972. A lesson on respecting elders



In the tamil movie Kushi, the actor Vijay would call his mom by her name. He would not address her as Amma!. When his friend asks him why he calls her Geetha instead of calling her with respect, he would say that Geetha is her name and names have to be used for calling.
When I saw this explanation given by Vijay, I got a little excited. I went to my mom, tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hi Shoba". Immediately I heard a loud noise. It seemed like the power went off. When I opened my eyes, I was experiencing pain on my cheeks

The next week, I went to my class with my mom's hand imprints on my cheeks

Moral: Respect elders

-Chronicwriter