Oct 22, 2017

911. The Arjun Sampath technique of answering a question

I request all the engineering students to take a closer look at the man in the picture. He will inspire you to clear your exams with ease. Clearing all papers to get an Engineering degree is not an easy joke these days. I have been there; felt pain during my exams, beaten to pulp by Engineering mathematics; but eventually rose like a phoenix bird to finally clear my papers to get my Engineering degree.

Some of the papers, that give heart attacks for Engineering students are
  • Mathematics papers (M3 and M4 are dangerous terrorists)
  • Field theory
  • Vera enna varumnu theriyalaiyae. Andha azhagula Engineering degree vaangirukurein ( Power of Madras University)
But there is one paper that can give you piles because of the number of attempts one takes to clear the paper. It is the mighty DSP (Digital Signal Processing). It is also called as "Degree Stopping Paper". It has single handedly blocked many engineering students from sitting for campus interviews.

I somehow cleared this paper with ease. I still do not know a single thing from that paper. Yesterday when I watched Arjun Sampath's debate style, I turned to my wife and said 
"Honey! This is how I cleared my DSP paper. I never knew a single thing in that paper. But still I remember standing up and asking for 12 additional sheets of paper to fill the sheets with my answers. For one ten mark question, I even answered with a film review about the movie Sethu. Three extra sheets were used for that question". 
She gave me a dirty stare. Good that I did not reveal her the marks I got for that paper. 87 out of 100. Check this video to see Arjun Sampath's debating skills and understand how he handles all questions with ease.

I just got hold of a DSP question paper. One sand also I did not understand. Do you understand anything from the picture below? Even if you know the answer, please keep quiet. Do not put vetti scene. Just remember that I have got 87 marks out of 100 for the same paper. So please show some respect.

No one has yet understood the Duckworth Lewis method. Similarly no one will ever understand Arjun Sampath's method of answering a question. I would love to see Arjun Sampath being interviewed by Arnab Gowsami. TRP egiridum.


Oct 11, 2017

910. The girl in the green half-saree

I was pursuing my third year of B.E. I literally lost any sort of contact with Renu and my love life was almost dead and buried. That is when I saw her. She used to wait at the bus stop every morning to board her bus to college.

The bus stop was right opposite to the house where I stayed. We were 7 guys staying together in the house. None of us had the habit of getting up early. But her presence at the bus stop every morning at 7 changed our lifestyle. All of us started to wake up as early as 5 am, brush our teeth, take bath and present ourselves in the best clothes just to get her attention.

Sometimes she would look in our direction and all 7 of us would assume that she looked at us. She would immediately turn her face and act as if we never existed. But the days when she gave us her 2 to 3 second glance, we would go to cloud nine. All 7 of us would argue with each other claiming that she did not see the other 6.

After one month of just looking at her from a distance, we decided to take it to the next level. The 4 of us would stand at the entrance of our house; Selva would walk up to the bus stop and stand behind her; Edwin would stand to her right and Satheesh would stand to her left. She would have no other option but look at atleast in one direction. She started looking in our direction. So we knew that Selva, Satheesh and Edwin were out of the race. These 3 guys soon understood that she was not interested in them and withdrew themselves from the competition.

That left me, Paul, Suresh and Vijay in the race. We did not know her name and none of us had the guts to make a move to approach her to ask her name. Those days, none of us had a mobile phone. So phone conversations were restricted to the landlines we had in our homes. As we were 7 bachelors staying together in a rented house, we used our neigbour's phone to make calls.

The next day I took my guitar and occupied the position near the door, so that she could see me face to face. Paul and Suresh were angry with me for trying to attract her with the guitar. They walked up to the bus stop and sat there and waited for her to come. Vijay was still in his lungi, scratching his armpits. He did not even take a bath. And that is when she walked in. She was wearing a green half saree. Our hearts started beating faster.

I tried to strum and sing the song "Pretty Woman"; but when I strummed the guitar, I realised that the guitar was out of tune. Paul and Suresh started laughing; they had done this to the guitar without my knowledge. Tears welled up in my eyes because she also started laughing with them. Paul walked up to her and introduced himself. She frowned at him and turned in the opposite direction only to end up looking at Suresh who tried to smile romantically. She gave him a dirty stare that made us all realize that she was hating the special attention that we gave her.

It has been 16 years since that incident took place. She is married for the last 8 years. None of us still have a clue why she fell in love with Vijay and married him.


Sep 27, 2017

909. Twitter doubles tweet length

Twitter has finally decided not act like a man suffering from PMS.( I know that a man does not suffer from PMS. But If I had used the word "women", many women would have ganged up on me). They have decided to go beyond the 140 character limit.

Their USP was their 140 character limit. With that limit, it encouraged people to be more creative with a few words. Now with increase in character limit, people would start writing essays again. In no time twitter users would demand twitter to increase the character limit to allow them to write notes and articles.

Twitter's justification was "When people don't have to cram their thoughts into 140 characters and actually have some to spare, we see more people tweeting". They made this great discovery after 11 years of existence and revealed this great discovery on a blog post.

Jack Dorsey announced the company’s “small change” but a “big move”: each tweet could now be of 280 characters, instead of the previous 140 characters. However, for now the increased character count is available only to a small group of users.
It is easy to be humorous and expressive with 280 characters and the challenge was to be witty in 140 characters and that is what that made twitter so special all these years. But now on, things are gonna change.

If you ask me what is the difference between the 140 character twitter message and the new 280 character twitter message, the following example will give you an idea

140 Twitter: Show piece for sale. Never used.
280 Twitter: Show piece for sale.  Brass fish with  black eyes. Never used. (Unwanted gift from wedding)


Sep 20, 2017

908. Aarav and the condom pack

A few days ago,my friend Ravi (name changed on purpose because he is my friend on Facebook too) invited me to his house for lunch .  So here I was sitting in the living room of his house and watching TV, when his 6 year old son Aarav (name changed again) came up to me with a rubber ball. This is how our conversation went

Aarav: Uncle please play with me
Me: Okay. Go stand there. I will throw the ball at you
Aarav: Okay catch this ball
Me: Oops! You have a powerful arm. That throw was fast
Aarav: Haha! Yes uncle! I know. I am stronger than my dad too

Ravi was sitting in the same room and talking on the phone. His wife, Sheela (name changed)  came out of the kitchen,  stared at her son and said "How many times have I told you not to play with a ball in the living room?" 

Suddenly the room was silent. I sat there with folded hands thinking if she was giving a hint to me that she did not like my presence in the house? 

May be she did not like her husband's friends or may be she did not like me. When these thoughts were running in my head, she turned to me and said " Anna! don't take me wrong. I was only shouting at Aarav and its not about you". 

That sentence created more doubts in my head. Aarav ran inside and soon brought a box of crayons

Aarav: Uncle color this note book along with me
Me: Ok! What do you want to color
Aarav: Let us color this whale
Me: Ok! Take this blue colour crayon and fill it

Sheela again came out of the kitchen and said "Anna, Don't encourage him to draw a blue whale and all. I have heard it is a dangerous game". In the space of five minutes, Sheela had stopped her son from progressing forward with his activities. I kinda agreed with her on the first condition because she might have thought that the ball might break some glass items in the room. But the blue whale connection did not sink into my head at all.

Ravi was still on a phone call. What kind of friend would invite me to his house for lunch and make me sit in the living room and be on the phone all the time? Do you know any friends like this makkale? To add salt to the injury, his wife also curbed her son from playing with me. 

Aarav: Uncle, let us play memory game
Me: What is that?
Aarav: We use playing cards to play this game
Me: Okay bring it

Aarav runs inside and shouted in a loud voice "Amma! Did you see my playing cards?" to which her mom replied " No I don't know. Search in Dad's cupboard". Little Aarav was busy searching for the playing card deck and there was silence for sometime. After some time Aarav came running to the living room with a pack of condoms and said " What is this uncle?" Sheela also came out of the kitchen at the same time and she was embarrassed big time.

Aarav: But Amma! What is that?
Aarav: What medicine amma?

She rushed back into the kitchen. Ravi was still on the phone not even realizing what had just happened at his house. Aarav kept the condom pack inside and came out and sat next to me and watched cartoon network along with me. During lunch time, we all ate in silence. Ravi was finally off the phone; but he did not know why his wife never came out of the kitchen; nor did he know why I was eating without saying a word. I was controlling my laughter. 

Little Aarav also does not know what medicine that was! May be he knows.


Sep 8, 2017

907. He clapped when he died

Robin was an 8-year-old boy studying in class 3. He was the apple of the eye for his parents. He learnt Karate at a very young age and got a black belt when he turned 7. He was literally strong for his puny stature. But underneath all the strength that he carried inside, he was still an innocent child.
His parents showered all their love on him. His mother would play with him every evening when he returned from school. His father was a man of few words. Though he loved his son dearly, he never expressed his love for his son through words.

Robin’s mother was a famous singer in their town. People in the city remembered her as the “Paadagi Mary” (Singer Mary). Mary and Goldina were great friends. They would always sing together in marriage functions, birthday parties, concerts and religious functions. Goldina’s father “Singh” was a respected man in the society. He would take scripture classes for the people in the town and everyone in the town held him in very high regard.

All the children in the locality was very fond of Singh thatha. He will tell them stories and teach them songs. Mary also wanted her son Robin to learn scriptural ethics and songs from Singh thatha. Singh uncle always loved children. He was an amazing story teller. He will always have chocolates in his pockets and the children knew that he would give them chocolates. But Robin felt something strange with Singh thatha’s behaviour.

“Why is Singh thatha making me sit on his lap when no one is around?”
“Why is Singh thatha putting his hands inside my pockets to hold my pee pee?”
“Why does Singh thatha make me to search in his pant pockets when there are no chocolates inside?”

These three questions were in Robin’s head for some time; but he was scared to raise these questions to Singh thatha. He realised that there was something odd about his behaviour with him. But Robin did not even realise that he was sexually abused by this old paedophile who had a good standing in the society.

A few days later Singh thatha was admitted in the hospital. Robin’s parents rushed to the hospital. Goldina was standing out with tears in her eyes. Mary went to her and asked “What happened”. “Doctors are saying that he is sinking” came her reply. All the friends and family members gathered outside the hospital. The news had spread that the spiritual guide of the town is fighting a battle between life and death.

The doctor came out of the ICU and broke the news that Singh thatha had passed away. Everyone started to cry. Mary and her husband had tears in their eyes too. Goldina was inconsolable. Singh thatha had helped many poor families by donating money for them. All of them were there in the hospital too.

Robin was standing next to his mother and suddenly out of nowhere, he started clapping and laughed out loud saying “I am glad that he died”. Everyone around him stopped crying. How could a young 8-year-old boy be so cruel? Goldina also heard what Robin had uttered. She looked at Robin with the expression that said “How can you behave like this when your favorite thatha has just passed away”. 

Mary felt ashamed by her son’s behavior and gave a slap across his face. Robin was not smiling anymore. He had tears in his eyes. Robin really had no clue why he clapped with so much happiness. He never had the understanding that he was sexually abused by that old man who had just died. But he felt relieved that he was no more.

An old man in the crowd tried to calm the situation. He pulled the young boy Robin from his mother’s grasp and made him sit on his lap and asked “Why did you clap like that Robin? Don’t you realise that it is a sad occasion and Goldina aunty has lost her dad. Do you think what you did was right?

Robin gathered all the courage and replied “I don’t know if I was wrong in clapping and laughing. All I know is that Singh thatha won’t make me sit on his lap and put his hands in my pocket and play with my pee pee anymore; nor would he ask me to put my hands inside his pocket to search for a lollipop when he does not have any chocolates inside his pockets.

Everyone understood the reason for Robin’s laughter and slow and steadily the crowd disappeared from the place. Mary realised for the first time that her son had been abused by an uncle whom she held in regards.

Almost two decades went by and when Robin’s little daughter who was just 3 years old came to him and said, ‘Daddy, my teacher taught me the difference between good touch and bad touch’, tears started to roll down his cheeks.

There are many Singh thathas in every family. If your child is uncomfortable with someone, parents should respect the child’s discretion. It is high time that every child is taught the difference between a good touch and a bad touch.

Sep 7, 2017

906. My favorite politician Valarmathi's video

I was binge watching my favorite Politician Valarmathi's videos on Youtube when I came across this particular video. What caught my attention was the title of the video.

Valarmathi Chief Minister Jayalalithaa's granddaughter's name atop the smell video tribute.

The apostrophes in the title are used correctly. So the entire sentence would not be wrong. I realized that there is a much deeper meaning hidden in that sentence.

It could be a code for the future generations.  There are four gentlemen and four soft ladies in the picture. My favorite politician may be rough on the outside. But she is soft like cotton candy on the inside.

Certain codes should not be decoded. The specialty of those codes are that they should remain a mystery.  This title also belongs to such a category. Hence I have decided not to do any research on the code; but just immerse myself in its presence (Aaraiya koodaadhu; Anubavikkanum).

Even if you happen to find the meaning of the sentence, I request you to keep the meaning with yourself. Adichu kooda ketpaanga. Veliyila sollidaadheenga.


Sep 4, 2017

905. Word

Do you want to look like a literary genius on social media platforms? It is simple. All you have to do is find some newspaper cutting. Once you find a news article, just underline some sentence. Take a picture of that news article and post it in social media. 

Make sure to include the caption "WORD" while posting the picture in your social media profile. Adding the caption" WORD" will add value to your post. People will think that you are a genius. Why don't you try this today? 

My friends have tried this on their FB walls and some of them have even gone on to publish books. Yes they are now called as authors. They might have paid some huge amount to publish their books because no traditional publisher came forward to release their book. So What? At least they have a book in their name. 

Remember! It all starts with "WORD".


Aug 28, 2017

904. Oviya, Me and the Gold Ring

This picture is so dear to me. I keep this picture under my pillow and every night before I go to sleep, I peek under the pillow to take a look at this picture. Yes I cry every single time I look at this picture. My pillow becomes wet every night because of the impact this picture creates in my heart.

Why is this picture so close to my heart?

This is the exact place where I broke up with my ex girl friend Oviya. We have spent many days sitting in this exact place. We will hold hands, talk about our future, our kids and our future dog. I still remember that fateful day. It seems like it happened just yesterday. It was raining that evening. I was sitting in this bench waiting for her to come. She had called me up on the phone and wanted to meet me that evening. We had been fighting for one long week before that. So I assumed that she was about to patch up with me.

So I waited in that bench. Can you see the dustbin near that bench? I bought it and donated to this park. In fact I bought 8 dustbins and kept it in the park because I was a fan of our Prathan manthri ji. Though this happened in 2007 and he was not yet the PM of the country, I exactly knew what he was going to do for our country in the future in the name of Swachh Baharath. (Postla logic illanu solluveeyaa?)

I had bought a gold ring for her from Joy Alukkas. It was a perfect setting for a romantic proposal. I had planned to put the ring on her finger. Then I had devised a plan to kiss her and ask her to marry me. So with all these thoughts running in my mind, I was waiting for  Oviya.

Finally at 6 pm, she walked in. She was wearing a Pink Sari. She looked drop dead gorgeous. A tall, dark and handsome guy came along with her. I had not seen him before. She came near me and said "Chriz! Look, you have hurt me with your words. It won't work for us. I am going to marry him. He is my maama paiyan."

He looked at me and smiled. My heart pained. My hand became numb. With a feeble voice, I looked at him and asked " Are you Amrika return?"

He said "Yes"
Thousands of arrows pierced me from every direction. I could not take it any longer. A tear drop escaped my eyelid. She saw it; but she showed no mercy. I even tried overacting by letting a few more ear drops escape through my eye lids. Ava kandukkavey illa. At that exact moment, my bladder also became full. It started to rain. So I used that opportunity. No one knew. She walked away with him. 

I put my hand inside my pocket and took the ring. I looked at it with anger. I went near that lamp (diagonally opposite to the dustbin) and looked around and no one was there. So I dug a small hole and planted the ring under the lamp.

With tears in my eyes and sodium chloride in my wet pants, I walked along the pavement into the sunset.

Note: You can still go to the park and take that ring and donate it to the Government for the prathan mandhiri relief fund. Jai Ho.


Aug 27, 2017

903. Push vs Pull

I am a Tamil guy. I think in Tamil and hence my English is not that good.

When ever I see the word "Pull" written on a door, I always do mental mathematics whether I should push the door or pull the door.

You might ask "Why I do that?"

It might be simple for you.

But for me, it is really tough. Each and every single time, I go through this trauma when I see the approach a door.

I would stall for a moment and 9 out of ten times, do the exact opposite of what the door asks me to do.

This is what I expressed in my Facebook page in Tamil

Enna dhaan IELTS and English grammarla pisthaavaa irundhaalum, oru doorla Pull or Pushnu eludhi irundhuchunaa, andha kadhava ilukkanumaa illana thallanumaanu manasula oru kolappam varumla. Andha kolappathukkula swimming poattu veliyila onnumey nadakaadha maadhiri correcta Pull nu eludhi irukura kadhava appadiyae thallikittu, adhuvum correctudhaanu oru agambaavathula pogum 7 kodi Tamilargalil naanum oruvandhaan
If you are not yet following my FB page, you are not yet living your life to the fullest. So better follow it now. If you are single, you will get married on the 7th day after liking this page:

Follow my FB page [ link]


Aug 25, 2017

902. Who is Ram Rahim?

1) He was one among the top 100 most powerful men in India in 2015 ( Source ). He was the 96th most powerful man in India at that time. MK Stalin was at 95th position and MS Dhoni occupied the 91st position in the list.

2) He has been accused of rape, murder and forced castrations. Yes! He has forcefully cut off the penises ( or the pair beneath them) of many men in the country. He was finally convicted of rape today and may be sentenced to 7 years in prison on Monday.

Edit on Monday: He has been sentenced to 20 years imprisonment.
This is how he entered the court premises today.
3) Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh was born in a Sikh family; but in the year 1990 he was declared as a saint and became the head of a sect called "Dera Sacha Sauda". The sect claims to have more than 60 million followers around the world

4) Haryana state elections in the last ten years relied heavily on Ram Rahim. He helped Congress to win the elections in 2007. In 2014 elections Pradhan Mandhiri Modi ji got the support of Ram Rahim and BJP flourished under his blessings.

5) He gets z+ security cover. His followers have also been taught to conduct suicide attacks. They have killed Sikhs in the past

6) On 13 January 2016, actor Kiku Sharda (who played the character Palak in Comedy Nights with Kapil) was arrested in Mumbai by the Haryana Police for mimicking Singh on his show. Sharda spent 14 days in judicial custody in Kaithal, Haryana. The case was registered on the complaint of Uday Singh, a follower of Dera Sacha Sauda.

7) He has castraded more than 400 men in his sect telling that they would get closer to God by doing so.

8) He has been conferred with many awards in the film industry for his role in films and he has been awarded with many awards by the Government too.

His followers went on a rampage killing many innocent lives after the CBI court sentenced this criminal to 7 years in jail. The court made another verdict that all the damages will be restored using Ram Rahim's personal money from his account.